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Where Are You In Your Discernment? Version 3.0


TheresaThoma

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I does not sound stupid at all.  I would just say pray for your future spouse, if God wills that you be married, so then when you find them, if you are called to be married, you will have a companion in helping you fight the world and reach God. 

I personally think the VS section tends to focus so much on religious vocations that we miss out on the married state.  It would be nice to hear some married Phatmass members talk about their vocational journey.  Some people tend to think those called to the religious are only the ones that never wanted to be married, and vice versa that those called to married state are only those who never wanted to be religious.  I think it would be nice to hear a married Catholic's journey on how they pursued religious life but realized they were not called, but are now happily married and who now see that when they did not get accepted into religious life that the sky did not fall and thier happiness was not over.

​Exactly! Or people always assume that if you are striving to live a holy life, then you must be wanting to join a religious order. I wish there was a vocation station for marriages. Not the raising small humans section, but something completely dedicated to meditations on marriage, how to grow in holiness in the married state, what are your favorite religious observances with your spouse, etc. Someplace where no one will get testy over us taking over their territory like Nunsense so accurately portrayed.

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IgnatiusofLoyola

​Exactly! Or people always assume that if you are striving to live a holy life, then you must be wanting to join a religious order. I wish there was a vocation station for marriages. Not the raising small humans section, but something completely dedicated to meditations on marriage, how to grow in holiness in the married state, what are your favorite religious observances with your spouse, etc. Someplace where no one will get testy over us taking over their territory like Nunsense so accurately portrayed.

​This would be an excellent idea--namely to have a subforum for talking about marriage. Simply based on statisics, I suspect more Phatmass members will find themselves called to marriage than the religious life. And, while raising small humans is normally one result of marriage, a person's relationship with their spouse is also very important, as is the time before marriage.

Personally, I like the way that Vocation Station is now, that is, focusing on discerning the religious life. There are not many places on the Internet where discerners can go to get good information and talk to other discerners. And, many of the posters here on VS, are people (mostly women) who either discerned religious life or actually were part of a religious Community for a time, until they discerned they were called elsewhere, and eventually got married.

Credo--There have been MANY posts/discussions in the past about discerning out of a specific Community, or the religious life altogether, and the journey that followed, which sometimes led to marriage. The topic will surely come up again.

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​Exactly! Or people always assume that if you are striving to live a holy life, then you must be wanting to join a religious order. I wish there was a vocation station for marriages. Not the raising small humans section, but something completely dedicated to meditations on marriage, how to grow in holiness in the married state, what are your favorite religious observances with your spouse, etc. Someplace where no one will get testy over us taking over their territory like Nunsense so accurately portrayed.

​I'm not sure if you are saying that I became testy or just that others might get testy. VS isn't anyone's 'territory' by the way, but for those who have been around for along time, they will recall that when we started to talk about marriage as a vocation in this particular forum, dUSt, our glorious leader, asked us not to and explained why as well, I think. He said he wanted this particular forum to be about discernment for the priesthood and religious life.

If anyone has a problem with this decision - it wasn't mine - it was dUSt's and I just read his post the same as everyone else did and just happened to bring it up here to remind people of the fact. If no one wants to follow the previous guideline, maybe dUSt doesn't care anymore? try it and see.

However, if the desire is there for a new forum for the vocation of marriage, perhaps you or Credo could ask dUSt if he could arrange for such a forum. I would be interested in hearing some people's stories of how their relationship helped their spiritual life. I know that some people have already expressed some of this over in Small Humans, but maybe someone could start a thread in Open Mic or elsewhere?

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BarbTherese

I can recall when dUSt made it very clear quite some time back now that Vocation Station was for vocations to religious life and the priesthood ONLY as nunsense has pointed out - and this is fair enough to me.  He is the boss and rightful authority on this site.

I do think respectfully it might be helpful to open another forum for all other vocations.  After all, there are other vocations and calls by God recognised by The Church in one way or another and it might be very helpful indeed for those not called to the priesthood nor religious life to have a place where they can read the experiences and insights of others, share their own experiences and insights.  To read about the vocation journeys of those not called to religious life nor the priesthood.

Certainly the vocation to Consecrated Virginity is not religious life nor the priesthood, nor is the vocation to the eremitical life including under Canon 603, secular institutes and Third Orders etc.  We know that marriage is not religious life nor priesthood, nor the call to secular celibacy in the laity with dedication of one's life to The Gospel/some particular Gospel mission.

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NadaTeTurbe

Hello :) 

I'm a catholic girl. I read this forum, and decided to sign up. I'm not a native speaker (I'm from France). 
I'm a catholic convert, my parents are atheist but very open minded with religions as long that I'm tolerant with them they are with me. 
I've had three things that have put me on the road to discernment 
1) I am/have been an altar server (enfant de choeur as we say) since I'm 9. My parish is not a cool and young parish. No beautiful choir, and our priest is very shy. So, i did not go to mass every sunday. But when I was chosen to be an altar server I had to go every sunday. It was very good for me. I teach me patience, love, and humility. It have teach me that Jesus is present in every mass. I have made frienship for life. 
2) I began to pray "Taizé like" one year ago. i have never been to Taizé, sadly :( So, before going to bed, I sing a Taizé song (my favorite is nada te turbe, as you can guess !), read the Bible, think about my day, then sing another, then pray for people I met. It have give me inner peace. 
3) Learning about nuns helping the poors. There's a religious community close to my parish but they are very cult-like. Anyway, I thought nuns were contemplative or working in parish or in cult-like community. It never crossed my minds that sisters could, you know, helping the poors. But I learn it by Internet... Reading testimony about sisters who help other just... light something in me. I don't know how to describe it. It just... felt right with me and God. Like "OKay God, I think you're trying to tell me something, no ?"

So, I began discernment with a very old priest this year, and I met other young interested in it. I know it's not going to be easy, because I'm very stubborn, and have seen/heard of so many bad things in religious communities. But I trust God. Solo Dios basta ! 

Here are community who interest me. I'm not in touch with them or anything, I'm just reading about : Sisters of Saint Joseph of the Apparition : http://www.stjoseph-apparition.org/ FIlles de la charité (founded by Saint Vincent de Paul) http://filles-de-la-charite.org/fr/ and other. I'm just in the beginning of my story, so I take my time :) I often read Global Sisters Report, because there's a lot of testimony. 

:nun1: 

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IgnatiusofLoyola

Welcome to Phatmass and to the Vocation Station! We're very glad you decided to post.

Your English is very good! I could understand everything you said.

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Welcome, NadaTeTurbe! And yes, your English is great! I hope to visit some French communities this year, and am starting to worry about how little of my school French I remember... :)

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NadaTeTurbe

Thank you all for your welcome ! 

Marigold, ( if you want to say it of course ), what communities are you visiting ? If you want to work your french, we can speak together, PM me if you're interested ! But don't worry, I'm sure it will be good. Just keep in mind, in France, correcting someone when a foreigner speak (like "don't say that, say that") is seen as very polite and kind, it could be disconcerting :) 

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Thank you all for your welcome ! 

Marigold, ( if you want to say it of course ), what communities are you visiting ? If you want to work your french, we can speak together, PM me if you're interested ! But don't worry, I'm sure it will be good. Just keep in mind, in France, correcting someone when a foreigner speak (like "don't say that, say that") is seen as very polite and kind, it could be disconcerting :) 

​For now I'm keeping my visits private, but I might PM you with some more info if I feel brave. I appreciate your offer! And yes, I like the directness of French people and would much rather be corrected than go on making a mistake... I'm half English, and that culture of trying to avoid making a scene at all costs can get quite tiresome, but I know that I do it too and it frustrates me!

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