Nihil Obstat Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Brideshead Revisited too. The entire Flyte family is some form or another of the Bad Catholic™. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 There was a issue in this article that I found interesting, and that is the issue of conscience. Louise Mensch has, for reasons she prefers not to discuss, chosen not to seek an annulment to her first marriage. Instead, she chose to remarry without an annulment, going against Church teaching. She doesn't say she was denied an annulment (as has happened to many Catholics), but instead has chosen not to seek an annulment at all. The whole subject of "conscience" within Catholic teaching is one that is of great importance to me, and I need to do more reading on the subject. If any of you have suggestions for good books or articles on this, I'd appreciate that. Like Louise, I, too, have chosen not to seek an annulment of my marriage, for my own reasons of conscience. I have thought about the subject A LOT--in fact, asking a question about annulment is what brought me to Phatmass in the first place, so it has been almost five years. Unlike Louise, I have not remarried, or even come close to meeting someone I would seriously consider remarrying. I have no idea if Louise's first marriage would be a candidate for annulment, but my marriage certainly would qualify for annulment on several grounds. I have resisted annulment because, despite its problems, my marriage FELT like a real marriage to me. "I" certainly got married planning to stay married forever and understanding as well as a couple can before actually marrying, the kind of love and commitment marriage entails. And, after all these years, I still love my ex-husband--I'm no longer "in love" with him--but I wish only happiness and the best for him. Yes, I was clueless when I got married, and it turns out I was missing certain facts that, if I had known them, would have almost certainly caused me to break off the engagement. But, in many ways I don't feel like I was any more clueless than most young couples getting married. I had dated my ex-husband for four years before we got married, I was a month short of my 27th birthday when I married, and my ex and I were the oldest couple at our Engaged Encounter weekend. I felt that in many ways we were very prepared, and not any more clueless than my roommate at EE, who was an 18-year old woman who cried all weekend because it was the first time she had ever spent the night away from her mother. Also, I think there is a good chance that my ex-husband also not even knew the missing information at the time we married (namely, that at age 40, he would so strongly want to lead a gay lifestyle that he was willing to give up our marriage to do so). I know that at the time we married my ex-husband was as committed to lifelong marriage as I was. And, I had NO idea that homosexuality was even an issue for him--or would be an issue later--it never even occured to me Life is just ironic enough that my young roommate from my Engaged Encounter weekend is probably still happily married, while I am divorced. Like so many things, I felt very smug that weekend that my ex and I were well prepared for marriage. Over the years, God has proven me wrong about SO MANY things I was so smug about when I was in my teens and 20's. That makes it very hard for me to watch younger people who act smug about something in their life--I don't want even the most annoying people I know to ever have to go through what I went through. I'm not pretending to be particularly wise now, but at least I know that when I start feeling smug about something, it's time for me to be wary. There is a reason that "Pride" is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Back to the issue of "conscience." The reason I am not a Catholic is that my conscience will not let me join the Catholic Church as long as I still have so many questions. Important note: I am NOT saying the Catholic Church is wrong about ANYTHING. However, over the past few years, I have dug down to my deepest, core values and beliefs, and I can't in good conscience say that I KNOW the Catholic Church is right on all issues. My conscience won't let me become Catholic, because I can't "buy the whole package"--I'd be a "Cafeteria Catholic,' at best. I have asked God to make his will mine, and there have been times in the past few years when I KNEW God wanted me to take a specific action, and I did so. I am clinging to the faith that some day I will understand, and that in the meantime, God will be merciful to me, as long as I keep working to put my heart where God wants it, and trying to be honest with myself and Him. BTW--As I have said before, if any of you want to pray for me to become Catholic, feel free to do so. If God changes my conscience, I like to hope that I will listen. But, as of right now, despite lots of prayer, my conscience will not let me become Catholic because of my questions. In the meantime, I desperately need prayers for inner peace and guidance from God on big decisions I need to make soon, such as selling my house, and moving SOMEWHERE. I'm totally in the dark about where that SOMEWHERE is, so I'm stuck. (It's a LOT more complicated than this quick explanation--there aren't obvious answers and lots of circumstances making this decision difficult.) And, as I asked before, if anyone has read anything helpful on the role of conscience in faith, I'd appreciate it. Sorry for going off track. My mind is like that. One side issue came up in the article, and I ran with it. However, in my defense, I think the role of conscience, and why Louise Mensch has chosen not to have her first marriage annulled, and thus has the problem of not being able to take Communion, is the critical issue that leads to the rest of the article. So maybe my thoughts aren't so "off track" after all. Thank-you for your patience and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truthfinder Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Iggy, I'm not sure if you state something more firmly and I missed, but is it Catholic understanding of conscience or your own conscience which you feel keeps you from Catholicism? Just remember too, that Catholicism teaches following your conscience only applies when you have a well-formed conscience which conforms to the teachings of the Church. Therefore, your conscience can indeed be wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 (edited) Iggy, I'm not sure if you state something more firmly and I missed, but is it Catholic understanding of conscience or your own conscience which you feel keeps you from Catholicism? Just remember too, that Catholicism teaches following your conscience only applies when you have a well-formed conscience which conforms to the teachings of the Church. Therefore, your conscience can indeed be wrong. It's BOTH my own conscience, and my most likely my lack of understanding of Catholic teaching on conscience that keeps me from Catholicism. I know some about Catholic teachings on conscience, but I certainly could learn more. That's why I'd welcome any suggestions of books on the subject of conscience. My understanding is that, among other things, the Catholic Church teaches that a person should not convert if he or she has serious doubts or questions. My conscience could well be wrong, but I've dug down as deep as I can go into my values and beliefs. Right now, my questions are strong enough that I would be lying if I said I knew all Catholic teachings to be correct. And, I can't knowingly lie about something as large and important as that. However, I haven't stopped listening and praying. I'm going through a time where my faith in God is pretty weak, but I'm hanging in there. Edited January 20, 2015 by IgnatiusofLoyola Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superblue Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I came across this article the other day, although it was written quite a while ago. Although I don't agree with everything he said, it is definitely thought provoking, and something worth reading and discussing. So, phatmass, thoughts? all the church really has are bad catholics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Does anyone else remember that one blog that was popular for a while, by Marc Barns? I saw his articles floating around a lot. I thought this would be by him, but I guess not. What happened to him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Does anyone else remember that one blog that was popular for a while, by Marc Barns? I saw his articles floating around a lot. I thought this would be by him, but I guess not. What happened to him? Marc has a new website. Badcatholic.co Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Marc has a new website. Badcatholic.co lol. Serious question though. Did he leave the Faith? Get busy with a career? Join the priesthood? I can't find anything through google. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Was he the guy who gave up blogging? Who was that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Was he the guy who gave up blogging? Who was that? Marc Barnes http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/ He was super popular back in the day, or at least with the circles I was visiting and I saw a few of his articles published. I didn't follow him to heavily but now I'm curious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Marc Barnes http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/ He was super popular back in the day, or at least with the circles I was visiting and I saw a few of his articles published. I didn't follow him to heavily but now I'm curious I remember reading his 'resignation' post and thought it was very wise and prudent. I have been having similar feelings to him about the Catholic blogosphere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 lol. Serious question though. Did he leave the Faith? Get busy with a career? Join the priesthood? I can't find anything through google. No seriously, that's the website. I know him personally. For whatever reason, it's not working. Look it up on Facebook though, I promise that's his website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Facebook:https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=147437745285261 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 It was smart, the guy was a young college kid when he was popular, and that much popularity isn't always good for someone that young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 He's still writing and blogging.His site went down approx. a week ago, but he's resurrecting it (his words not mine). I feel like I keep repeating myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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