Anselm Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 As some of you know, I was accepted to join a benedictine community last year, but without a definite joining date. Since then I've experienced all sorts of doubts, from the reactions of my atheist family to the giving away of my dog and the giving up of a career I love. I know that I must trust God, but I find it hard to do so when I none of those things seem immoral, even if they might be keeping me from my vocation. Baaaaah! Any suggestions? I'm in email conversation with the Prior of a UK monastery who is being very helpful, but I woukd be grateful for your opinions. A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bardegaulois Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Every person in your situation is experiencing self-doubt to a greater or lesser degree. The best thing to do is to remember Our Lord's promise to those who give up family or property to Him. Doubt yourself, by all means, and imagine that obedience frees you from the occasions of self-doubt. Instead trust that the Lord Himself will provide all necessary things for you and shall plant you where you will flourish. Hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 It's no different than someone getting married. It's called 'cold feet' in the States. Pick a date. Preferably a meaningful date - the feast of St. Benedict, you (re)birthday, the anniversary of your college graduation, whatever. Decide "That's when I'm entering." (People getting married have to set a date, too.) Then write a to-do list and attach it to a timeline. Then start ticking the to-do's off as their dates come round. But I'm surprised they won't let you keep your dog. To the best of my knowledge, all monasteries have dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I was trying to find an old blog article that talked about a very similar situation. I can't remember which blog I read it on though. Basically it was talking about delay vs preparation in the form of a story of a young woman who was about to enter a monestary. She had already set an entrance day but then found out her brother was coming home from a deployment over seas after her entrance date and she was thinking of pushing back her entrance date. Although seeing her brother would have been good the abbess told her to come now. She was delaying rather than preparing at that point. I think it can be difficult for us to know exactly when we have reached that delay vs preparation point so having someone you really trust is crucial. My thoughts are after prayer and talking it over someone who knows you and the situation well set a date. Make sure you have someone to hold you to that date as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 (edited) Agree with all of the above :) Edited to add: It's going to be great, Anselm! Don't you worry! Edited February 4, 2015 by marigold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anselm Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 Thank you all to your comments! Now I get back to my old problem of English Benedictine vs Solesmes Congregation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Lots of prayers from me, Anselm. Noli timere! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anselm Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) P.S., Luigi, I'm not sure I know of any British house that woukd let someone bring a pet with them! Edited February 5, 2015 by Anselm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 In terms of English vs. Solesmes... The primary decision is to be a monk (or not). You've made that decision. Where to enter is secondary. God wants us to be happy, so enter where you will be happiest. That might be based on which monastery's liturgy you prefer, or the melodies they sing, or their ministry/work, or the spirit of the community, or which abbot you prefer, or which location you prefer (nice grounds, closer to family, whatever), the architecture of the church, the size of the community, where you think your skills are most needed, or anything else. All other things being equal, it might come down to which monastery has better food, nicer accommodations, or which one will let your dog (Brother St. Bernard?) enter with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anselm Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 You're right, of course, but I can imagine being happy at either, for different reasons. The EBC house runs a school and I'm currently a teacher, so I can imagine enjoying being a part of that. Equally, since it's my current profession, I can imagine that it might be a distraction from truly living the monastic life. The Solesmes house is based on farming and book-binding. It's also very attractive, but I wonder whether I would miss teaching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 God is asking you: Do you want the apple pie or the cherry pie. You can have only one, but you do get to pick! (And I live close to a monastery of English Benedictines who run a school. The monks I know seem to live a truly monastic life. I'm no expert, but from what I've seen...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carla Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 We have all been there. :) As Luigi say "cold feet " are very often and very normal.To start religious life is drastic life change.To doubt or to be scared it is perfectly normal i will be strange if it is otherwise.When i thinking about that often i thinking on my sister how thinks work different with both of us.I now discerning for some while with ups and downs.In my past of discerning i have many "cold feet" moment same as you.A lott of time i have spend in this situations and moment similar to yours.My sister in other way never consider religious life till recent.After high school, she found a job travel a lot and made plans for collage and future.Then last summer she returned home and tell us i'm entering monastery in 3 mouths.She discern and take this change very different then i'm.But still when moment of entrance came she also consider to move date.After few of days of considerations she enter as she wanted at start.Now she is postulant for 3 months already and i'm still waiting the right moment :rolleyes: I wanted to say take your time with decision and also learn from me and set some exact plans and dates and then all will be easier for your vocation. I will pray for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 As I re-read this thread, the thought occurred to me... You said in your original post, "... giving up a career I love." Later you mentioned that you love teaching. I think you're telling us the answer to the question you're asking us - If you love teaching... and you want to be a monk... (let's see here, 1 + 1 = ???). Keep doing what you love to do - teach - in a monastery. And if you are a good teacher - if you really can motivate students to learn, and lead them to think, and expand their minds and change their lives - it seems to me you have a responsibility or even duty to continue doing that. Because not everyone has that gift. So you bring your gift of teaching to the monastery, and the monastery gives you the gift of a regular life. Win-win? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Double-propsing Luigi's suggestion above :like3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Leticia Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 As some of you know, I was accepted to join a benedictine community last year, but without a definite joining date. Since then I've experienced all sorts of doubts, from the reactions of my atheist family to the giving away of my dog and the giving up of a career I love. I know that I must trust God, but I find it hard to do so when I none of those things seem immoral, even if they might be keeping me from my vocation. Baaaaah! Any suggestions? I'm in email conversation with the Prior of a UK monastery who is being very helpful, but I woukd be grateful for your opinions. A You're feeling pulled between English and Solesmes Benedictines. You discerned, applied to and were accepted to join Monastery A, but are now in contact with the prior of Monastery B. Do Prior A and Prior B both know about this? What is their advice to you? Also, you're concerned that joining the monastery which runs a school might distract you from living an authentic monastic life. Have you asked the monks if this has been their experience? What do they and the monastery as a whole do to ensure the school isn't a distraction? Then there's the fact that you're a teacher. However, there is only one reason for entering a monastery - any monastery - and that is to seek God. You don't enter to be a teacher or a bee-keeper or a farmer, you enter to be a monk, and to dedicate your life to this quest for God, and to prayer, praise and service - whatever service is asked of you. But seeking God has to be uppermost, because that is what will sustain you when prayer is arid and you are full of self-doubt; when you can't teach because you're in formation or studying; when the abbot decides you need to study accounting because the monastery needs a new bursar; when ill health means you can no longer "do", but only "be", and so on. If that monastery didn't run a school would you still feel attracted to it, and what do you find compelling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now