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Moral Question


xTrishaxLynnx

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xTrishaxLynnx

Posting again here as I'd like to get numerous perspectives on the issue:

I was offered a job caring for two children. During the interview, the woman I assumed was the kids' mom mentioned that she was "divorced"... from another woman, the kids' "second mom." She seems like a very nice woman and the kids are wonderful, I just don't know if it's okay for me to work for her, knowing her lifestyle. She's also into yoga and "enlightenment," though she said she doesn't practice it at home. The other issue is that one day a week, I'd be working at her ex's house with the kids, so it's not like I can remain completely uninvolved from the relationship between these two women, even though they obviously won't be around while I'm with the kids. Is it morally acceptable for me to take the position?

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She is a human being loved by God and puts importance on physical activity and mental health...Id say its totally fine. Your job would be to take care of her kids, not participate in her personal life choices.

 

You probably wouldnt be asking this question if the person happened to be a Hindu who liked to jog? people have different means of physical activity and prayer/meditation. 

Edited by CrossCuT
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I do not think that looking after the kids could constitute any kind of approval of their lifestyle. Kids need to be looked after regardless of whatever wrongheaded things their parents get up to.

It certainly could be more difficult to work in that environment though, if some of them are hostile to Catholicism.

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She is a human being loved by God and puts importance on physical activity and mental health...Id say its totally fine. Your job would be to take care of her kids, not participate in her personal life choices.

 

You probably wouldnt be asking this question if the person happened to be a Hindu who liked to jog? people have different means of physical activity and prayer/meditation. 

 

Some means of prayer/meditation are unacceptable (understatement). Don't underestimate the danger of Satanism present in some forms of yoga. We Westerners tend to be far too naive with such matters. 

 

I'd say: tell her you're Catholic, that for religious reasons you aren't fond of yoga and disapprove of same-sex relations. That's honesty and I would very much appreciate honesty from someone who's going to care for my kids.

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if you were a teacher could you teach her kids? if you were a doctor or nurse could you give her kids medical attention? 

For goodness sakes.

 

If anything her children need you more than others. 

 

And please don't feel the need to volunteer your beliefs up front.

Don't lie. Be honest. But your evangelizing power increases 400% if she finds out about your religious beliefs after she has seen you treating her, her ex, and their children with kindness and professionalism. 

 

Edited by Lilllabettt
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Don't lie. Be honest. But your evangelizing power increases 400% if she finds out about your religious beliefs after she has seen you treating her, her ex, and their children with kindness and professionalism. 

 

What if you are a parent and you find out after months that the au pair/babysitter/whatever adheres to a belief that you very much dislike and want to protect your children from? 

Edited by Catlick
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xTrishaxLynnx

if you were a teacher could you teach her kids? if you were a doctor or nurse could you give her kids medical attention? 

For goodness sakes.

 

If anything her children need you more than others. 

 

And please don't feel the need to volunteer your beliefs up front.

Don't lie. Be honest. But your evangelizing power increases 400% if she finds out about your religious beliefs after she has seen you treating her, her ex, and their children with kindness and professionalism. 

 

Those are very different situations in which I would not be in their home, participating directly in their everyday life or interacting on a very personal level with their parents. I did think of the fact that in any other situation, I wouldn't quit my job if I found out my direct supervisor or even the owner of the company were living a lifestyle I didn't agree with, barring a few situations (e.g. I'm making money for a company who is then using it to directly support seriously morally unacceptable things like abortion.) The manager at a store I worked at lived with his homosexual partner and we got along just fine, but I wasn't involved in his family life as I will be with these women and children.

 

I am also aware that this could be an opportunity for me to be a good influence on and an example for the children.  I already mentioned to the woman I interviewed with that I attend Catholic mass on Sundays and she seemed to have a very neutral reaction to that.

 

I just mainly wanted to make sure I wasn't deluding myself into thinking this is okay just because the money is great... more than twice what I was making per hour at my previous job. I appreciate your input.

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Those are very different situations in which I would not be in their home, participating directly in their everyday life or interacting on a very personal level with their parents. I did think of the fact that in any other situation, I wouldn't quit my job if I found out my direct supervisor or even the owner of the company were living a lifestyle I didn't agree with, barring a few situations (e.g. I'm making money for a company who is then using it to directly support seriously morally unacceptable things like abortion.) The manager at a store I worked at lived with his homosexual partner and we got along just fine, but I wasn't involved in his family life as I will be with these women and children.

 

I am also aware that this could be an opportunity for me to be a good influence on and an example for the children.  I already mentioned to the woman I interviewed with that I attend Catholic mass on Sundays and she seemed to have a very neutral reaction to that.

 

I just mainly wanted to make sure I wasn't deluding myself into thinking this is okay just because the money is great... more than twice what I was making per hour at my previous job. I appreciate your input.

 

 

 

I'm working right now as an agency nanny. I never know where I'm going one week to the next. I strive to be a Christian witness to every child I have the privilege to care for, regardless of who their parents are or what circumstances they happen to be living in. Children do not choose their parents.

 

I understand not taking the job if you, yourself are uncomfortable being in certain environments.

But its not a moral or ethical dilemma. 

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Posting again here as I'd like to get numerous perspectives on the issue:

I was offered a job caring for two children. During the interview, the woman I assumed was the kids' mom mentioned that she was "divorced"... from another woman, the kids' "second mom." She seems like a very nice woman and the kids are wonderful, I just don't know if it's okay for me to work for her, knowing her lifestyle. She's also into yoga and "enlightenment," though she said she doesn't practice it at home. The other issue is that one day a week, I'd be working at her ex's house with the kids, so it's not like I can remain completely uninvolved from the relationship between these two women, even though they obviously won't be around while I'm with the kids. Is it morally acceptable for me to take the position?

 

Well, you could approach this from the standpoint of not holding kids responsible for the sins of their parents (which I believe Nihil was also alluding to in his comment) and go from there.

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I represented dozens of gay people including couples. They are humans with human needs and deserving of equal dignity. I always told them upfront that I was a Catholic and while I didn't agree with their lifestyle, they were entitled to adequate representation.

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Basilisa Marie

It's perfectly morally acceptable. If it makes you uncomfortable, you're not wrong to turn down the position.  

 

I would point out, though, that one of the primary responsibilities of lay people is to go out and evangelize in the world, whatever our little sphere of influence is. That's not throwing scripture in people's faces, that's living the faith and going about our lives in a way that makes them ask what reason we have for being the way we are. We aren't like cloistered religious who make a vow of stability or enclosure. People need to see that Catholics are loving, respectful people, and we aren't going to challenge any of their false assumptions if we just keep to ourselves. :) Soooo many people out think that religious people are angry freaks, so your presence could help soften their hearts towards Catholicism. 

 

But you're free to make a decision either way. 

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