Balance - Is it a thing?

[Ash Wednesday]

I have classmates my hometown who often air their dirty laundry online. I don't know if this is a small town thing or what...

Part of me is just so embarrassed for them. But part of me is like:

[Kia ora]

​Not sure. I was listening to a YouTube lecture about "conversation" as a philosophical concept, what it requires, the different kinds, etc. Literally a means a "turning with" as though the people in the conversation are turning around a common point. True conversation requires a certain intimacy and respect that does not get defensive at the other but pursues the conversation where it leads. Then there are other kinds of conversation, such as two people sharing their opinions on the movie, which is not really "conversation" in the truest sense but more an esteem-building exercise where you demonstrate that you respect each other's opinions (but you also don't really get too deep into them, because you don't have that kind of conversational trust to really say what you want to say, you're just focused on affirming the other person). I don't know what kind of "conversation" goes on in social media, but it seems like it's not really "conversation" so much as thought projection to show you have opinions and to interject them into your social circle.

​I was out camping the last couple of days with a bunch of strangers. Fire is such a wonderful thing - provides heat, light, food, entertainment and a venue for talking. Thank goodness there was no reception. Talking for 8 hours straight is both exhausting and a relief. To sit down and become less of a stranger with someone you don't know is something beautiful. I'm not sure social media will ever offer that kind of sustained interest.

[Era Might]

​I was out camping the last couple of days with a bunch of strangers. Fire is such a wonderful thing - provides heat, light, food, entertainment and a venue for talking. Thank goodness there was no reception. Talking for 8 hours straight is both exhausting and a relief. To sit down and become less of a stranger with someone you don't know is something beautiful. I'm not sure social media will ever offer that kind of sustained interest.

​Yeah. The Albert Camus novel "The Plague" is a good point of reflection on this topic. A plague comes to town, and they have to seal the borders, and suddenly there is no contact with the people you know on the outside world. When you write letters there is always some implication of hope of contact, that there is a "real life" future in this relationship, and when that hope is cut off, it changes everything...and then you are stuck with the people in the town sealed in with you, but what does relationship mean when you have no future? For some reason I'm reminded of the saying "hell is other people." There's something in social media about that, a common hell with "other people" who always remain "other" because there is no context. What does it mean to go on a political rant on social media, as opposed to making some positive action in your life or town? I've found that true lately here at Phatmass, it's fun to argue and debate stuff, but at the end of the day, I don't think it accomplishes anything. I was at a discussion group last week and we were talking about the Resurrection, and there were a couple older ladies, one was Catholic, I guess she had the common Catholic life, married, kids in Catholic school, etc. She was a nice lady, talked about some Catholic stuff. Some of the other people in the discussion were more intellectually oriented, one was a Protestant minister, brought up various "arguments" and stuff. But I wouldn't want to argue with them even if I could...what would be the point? Even if I had something to convince them of, it would not be anything real to achieve it. To me, it was enough to sit and listen to people on their own life pilgrimages. In that context, I don't see "other people," just people, and all the idle chatter that goes on online becomes irrelevant to me.

[franciscanheart]

I have classmates my hometown who often air their dirty laundry online. I don't know if this is a small town thing or what...

Part of me is just so embarrassed for them. But part of me is like:

​You are SLAYING me lately.

[Lil Red]

I think a lot of people aren't interested in balance. They aren't interested in seeing the other side(s) of an idea, theory, politics, religion, etc. They are only interested in knowing "their side" and not having that be challenged, and have "yes" friends ("Yes I agree!!" or "You got that straight" etc etc). I guess this is why I keep interesting people and pages on my Facebook feed, even if I don't necessarily agree with them, because I want to be challenged in my world views and try to see from another perspective. 

I only have about 125 friends on Facebook though because I refuse to share my "life" with people who don't need to know who kept sending me friend requests (random relatives, phatmassers, former high school friends, etc)

Edited April 8, 2015 by Lil Red

[Anomaly]

Red's post and this thread reminds me of @Ice_nine

's thread  regarding the need for "Likes" or props on Facebook etc. to affirm you matter.   I think it's about a need to be noticed as worthwhile in the milieu of the vast online world of superficial connections.  Srsly, I can't imagine 200 people following me on Facebook or Instagram.   How could I hope to matter to those people?   Am I narcissistic because I know I won't be interested in following 200 people?  Am I anti-social in our current society?   I dunno.   I have enough life to live in my analog world, Lol.  

[PhuturePriest]

I think a lot of people aren't interested in balance. They aren't interested in seeing the other side(s) of an idea, theory, politics, religion, etc. They are only interested in knowing "their side" and not having that be challenged, and have "yes" friends ("Yes I agree!!" or "You got that straight" etc etc). I guess this is why I keep interesting people and pages on my Facebook feed, even if I don't necessarily agree with them, because I want to be challenged in my world views and try to see from another perspective. 

I only have about 125 friends on Facebook though because I refuse to share my "life" with people who don't need to know who kept sending me friend requests (random relatives, phatmassers, former high school friends, etc)

​https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608053226585393654&pid=15.1&P=0

[PhuturePriest]

Red's post and this thread reminds me of @Ice_nine

's thread  regarding the need for "Likes" or props on Facebook etc. to affirm you matter.   I think it's about a need to be noticed as worthwhile in the milieu of the vast online world of superficial connections.  Srsly, I can't imagine 200 people following me on Facebook or Instagram.   How could I hope to matter to those people?   Am I narcissistic because I know I won't be interested in following 200 people?  Am I anti-social in our current society?   I dunno.   I have enough life to live in my analog world, Lol.  

​I have friends with four hundred to over a thousand Facebook friends, and all I can think is "How do you even know that many people?" It also seems like a great waste. It's just hundreds of people you barely know and don't care about filling your Facebook wall with statuses you don't want to see.

[Lil Red]

Red's post and this thread reminds me of @Ice_nine

's thread  regarding the need for "Likes" or props on Facebook etc. to affirm you matter.   I think it's about a need to be noticed as worthwhile in the milieu of the vast online world of superficial connections.  Srsly, I can't imagine 200 people following me on Facebook or Instagram.   How could I hope to matter to those people?   Am I narcissistic because I know I won't be interested in following 200 people?  Am I anti-social in our current society?   I dunno.   I have enough life to live in my analog world, Lol.  

​Well, I do have a blog with a fair amount of followers across social media, but that's a separate entity, I think…it isn't as personal. It's more like a business. 

[dUSt]

​https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608053226585393654&pid=15.1&P=0

​I never click on your image links. You should do better at making images show up in your posts.

[PhuturePriest]

​I never click on your image links. You should do better at making images show up in your posts.

​I don't know how. They never work. The "insert other media" thing never works, either.

[Ice_nine]

So I gave up facebook for lent. It was actually enjoyable and not much of a struggle in the desert. However the thought would nudge me from time to time "am I missing out?"

So when I got back on I felt slightly weird. There was no real way to see if I missed anything because notifications expire after 7 days. I had a message about a friend's wedding (she needed my address to send an invite, I obviously didn't get the message but she has my number). So you might not be missing out on MUCH but since most people in my generation use it as their primary social tool (well maybe it's secondary to texting I don't know), you really fall off the face of the earth if you don't use social media.

Also, like FH, I really like the people I'm friends with online (I only have about 100 or so friends, most are family), but seeing the things they write . . . my goodness. It's not a condemnation on them becasue I know I sound like an unhinged keyboard warrior sometimes too, but really it just seems to bring out the worst in people. Hardly any of it is edifying and there's always something to argue about.

And yet I still have a compulsive need to check it everyday even though I am super bored and under enthused when I do. Go figure. I so wish I could live off the grid but I wouldn't survive half a day. Probably get eaten by a bear or something.

[veritasluxmea]

And yet I still have a compulsive need to check it everyday even though I am super bored and under enthused when I do. 

​I just realized I feel that way AFTER being on facebook. Hum. You're right it's so compulsive, but it's the only way I can keep up (via messaging) with some people. E-mail just doesn't do the same thing. 

Edited April 8, 2015 by veritasluxmea

[Credo in Deum]

I left Facebook and haven't looked back.  Those who I want to keep in touch with I still do via e-mail, text, phone calls, and good old fashioned face to face get-togethers.  I haven't written a letter yet but I plan on doing so to a friend of mine in the seminary.  

For me, leaving Facebook was a positive change in my life and I'm happy for it.  Now it's time to work on throwing away my t.v. and continuing on from there! 

 

Edited April 8, 2015 by Credo in Deum

[Kia ora]

​If I give you a like, don't get any feeling of satisfaction from it! It'll only feed into the unhealthy posting-for-approval malaise

I was thinking that becoming a friend is process of unknowing. I met someone the other day and when we become facebook friends, I had access to years of her photos, her statuses, her likes and dislikes etc. Do I need to know this? I know more about someone who I met relatively briefly than someone I've known for ages. What would it be like to unknow a person, as time goes by, for that person to remain more and more a mystery to me?