AveMariaPurissima Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 So I just committed a social faux pas on Facebook...I posted a prayer request on a public prayer group page. The request was for prayers for an upcoming speech I'm giving about gay "marriage." To avoid the same mistake here, I will say upfront that my speech is 100% in agreement with the Catholic Church. However, I didn't say that in my original post on FB. This evidently caused some confusion/scandal, and the Friar who runs the page asked me to post again to clarify. So I did, and I think the situation will be okay now. But, thanks to stupid pride, I still feel embarrassed and upset about my initial mistake. Plus I feel embarrassed and reluctant to interact with this Friar anymore. I mean, I should be okay with this now. b/c everyone makes mistakes, he pointed it out kindly, I apologized profusely and fixed it, I learned for next time. But right now I just want to go hide in a corner and not interact with anyone ever. So...any tips for growing in humility with reacting to situations like this?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) Been there done that! Once I posted something to my work fb page and almost got fired LOL. How I dealt with it... I quickly removed it, texted a brief apology and let them know I took care of it, and that was that. When that one person who has no fil ter brought it up at work, I laughed it off as being thug. #thuglife. Most people will react the same way you do. If you overreact, over explain yourself, give a long apology... much worse. They will overreact. If you properly handle it treat it like no big deal... they won't be able to turn it into a big deal. Just maturely and quietly dealing with it, and move on. Give it a week or two and that will be that. Maybe just ignore the page for a week or two. If people are still angry or offended, that's on them, not you. I would assume a Catholic posting in a Catholic group about giving a talk on gay "marriage" would be giving it against it, so I'm not sure how they came to that conclusion... idk if that helps but whatever. I guess my attitude would be, "it's their fault, not mine," so I wouldn't be embarrassed. Even when it is my fault I'm not really embarrassed. :/ Edited April 27, 2015 by veritasluxmea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truthfinder Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 I would say that it would actually be pride that is keeping you from wanting to interact with the friar again. So, don't over apologize, and return to your before faux-pas posting. Pride is preventing you from showing that you are capable of making mistakes. The online world is hard - there's a lot of nuance. I'd have suggestions for real-world interactions (that is pot calling kettle black), and my typical suggestion of not wanting the last word doesn't quite apply here. So if anything, laugh at yourself. Imagine the reaction the other person might have had: "WHAT, is she CRAZY?!?" bulging eyes and all and just laugh and then carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) Pray to let go of human respect. There is also the litany of humility. Litany of Humility O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, hear me. From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus. From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus. From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus. From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus. From the desire of being preferred, Deliver me, Jesus. From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus. From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus. That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. That others become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. Edited April 27, 2015 by Credo in Deum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 It is easy to say, and very difficult to live, but humiliations such as these are truly gifts from God to help us to overcome our pride. Embrace the idea that people might think less of you, because it is God's reputation we should really be concerned about. It is very hard. Probably the most difficult virtue to cultivate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Yeah, I agree with Nihil's post. It seems that an excellent way to grow in humility is to post embarrassing things on Facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 St. Francis de Sales in Introduction to the Devout Life had some fascinating things to say about humility. CHAPTER VI. Humility makes us rejoice in our own Abjection. BUT, my daughter, I am going a step further, and I bid you everywhere and in everything to rejoice in your own abjection. Perhaps you will ask in reply what I mean by that. In 154Latinabjection means humility, and humility means abjection, so that when Our Lady says in the Magnificat that all generations shall call her blessed, because God hath regarded the low estate of His handmaiden, 71 she means that He has accepted her abjection and lowliness in order to fill her with graces and favours. Nevertheless, there is a difference between humility and abjection; for abjection is the poverty, vileness and littleness which exist in us, without our taking heed to them; but humility implies a real knowledge and voluntary recognition of that abjection. And the highest point of humility consists in not merely acknowledging one’s abjection, but in taking pleasure therein, not from any want of breadth or courage, but to give the more glory to God’s Divine Majesty, and to esteem one’s neighbour more highly than one’s self. This is what I would have you do; and to explain myself more clearly, let me tell you that the trials which afflict us are sometimes abject, sometimes honourable. NOW many people will accept the latter, but very few are willing to accept the former. Everybody respects and pities a pious hermit shivering in his worn-out garb; but let a poor gentleman or lady be in like case, and they are despised for it,—and so their poverty is abject. A 155religious receives a sharp rebuke from his superior meekly, or a child from his parent, and every one will call it obedience, mortification, wisdom; but let a knight or a lady accept the like from some one, albeit for the Love of God, and they will forthwith be accused of cowardice. This again is abject suffering. One person has a cancer in the arm, another in the face; the former only has the pain to bear, but the latter has also to endure all the disgust and repulsion caused by his disease; and this is abjection. And what I want to teach you is, that we should not merely rejoice in our trouble, which we do by means of patience, but we should also cherish the abjection, which is done by means of humility. Again, there are abject and honourable virtues; for the world generally despises patience, gentleness, simplicity, and even humility itself, while, on the contrary, it highly esteems prudence, valour, and liberality. Sometimes even there may be a like distinction drawn between acts of one and the same virtue—one being despised and the other respected. Thus almsgiving and forgiveness of injuries are both acts of charity, but while every one esteems the first, the world looks down upon the last. A young man or a girl who refuses to join in the excesses of dress, amusement, or gossip of their circle, is laughed at 156and criticised, and their self-restraint is called affectation or bigotry. Well, to rejoice in that is to rejoice in abjection. Or, to take another shape of the same thing. We are employed in visiting the sick—if I am sent to the most wretched cases, it is an abjection in the world’s sight, and consequently I like it. If I am sent to those of a better class, it is an interior abjection, for there is less grace and merit in the work, and so I can accept that abjection. If one has a fall in the street, there is the ridiculous part of it to be borne, as well as the possible pain; and this is an abjection we must accept. There are even some faults, in which there is no harm beyond their abjection, and although humility does not require us to commit them intentionally, it does require of us not to be disturbed at having committed them. I mean certain foolish acts, incivilities, and inadvertencies, which we ought to avoid as far as may be out of civility and decorum, but of which, if accidentally committed, we ought to accept the abjection heartily, out of humility. To go further still,—if in anger or excitement I have been led to use unseemly words, offending God and my neighbour thereby, I will repent heartily, and be very grieved for the offence, which I must try to repair to the utmost; but meanwhile I will accept the abjection and disgrace 157which will ensue, and were it possible to separate the two things, I ought earnestly to reject the sin, while I retained the abjection readily. But while we rejoice in the abjection, we must nevertheless use all due and lawful means to remedy the evil whence it springs, especially when that evil is serious. Thus, if I have an abject disease in my face, I should endeavour to get it cured, although I do not wish to obliterate the abjection it has caused me. If I have done something awkward which hurts no one, I will not make excuses, because, although it was a failing, my own abjection is the only result; but if I have given offence or scandal through my carelessness or folly, I am bound to try and remedy it by a sincere apology. There are occasions when charity requires us not to acquiesce in abjection, but in such a case one ought the more to take it inwardly to heart for one’s private edification. Perhaps you will ask what are the most profitable forms of abjection. Unquestionably, those most helpful to our own souls, and most acceptable to God, are such as come accidentally, or in the natural course of events, because we have not chosen them ourselves, but simply accepted God’s choice, which is always to be preferred to ours. But if we are constrained to choose, the greatest abjections are best; and the greatest is whatever is most contrary to one’s individual 158inclination, so long as it is in conformity with one’s vocation; for of a truth our self-will and self-pleasing mars many graces. Who can teach any of us truly to say with David, “I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of ungodliness”? 72 None, dear child, save He Who lived and died the scorn of men, and the outcast of the people, in order that we might be raised up. I have said things here which must seem very hard to contemplate, but, believe me, they will become sweet as honey when you try to put them in practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catlick Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 The best way to avoid pride and grow in humility is to quit Facebook altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seamoylantd Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Thank of something vile you did and accept it as penance. I say something like O God, this pain I am in is my prayer for my enemy. Attend to her soul like you do to my childrens; or O God I deserve worse than this. I accept this penance from your Divine Mercy or; God I offer this pain as a prayer for my children's salvation. When they stand before you on Judgement Day, may they be saved from the fires of Hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 (edited) So I just committed a social faux pas on Facebook...I posted a prayer request on a public prayer group page. The request was for prayers for an upcoming speech I'm giving about gay "marriage." To avoid the same mistake here, I will say upfront that my speech is 100% in agreement with the Catholic Church. However, I didn't say that in my original post on FB. This evidently caused some confusion/scandal, and the Friar who runs the page asked me to post again to clarify. So I did, and I think the situation will be okay now. But, thanks to stupid pride, I still feel embarrassed and upset about my initial mistake. Plus I feel embarrassed and reluctant to interact with this Friar anymore. I mean, I should be okay with this now. b/c everyone makes mistakes, he pointed it out kindly, I apologized profusely and fixed it, I learned for next time. But right now I just want to go hide in a corner and not interact with anyone ever. So...any tips for growing in humility with reacting to situations like this?? I would recommend the Litany of Humility... just a warning: many people have commented (and I agree) that it really does get answered in ways that would humble you but - it can be hard. Not to scare you I really recommend this prayer and I believe many graces can be given through it to help with humility: something I really need myself too. https://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/humility.htm The idea I'm trying to express is that in growing in humility, I think we need to ask God for the grace. Not just try through our own effort because that is very very hard and it's something we need grace in I know the feeling of wanting to hide in a corner and never talk to people again. Definitely been through that too! Edited May 8, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 The best way to avoid pride and grow in humility is to quit Facebook altogether. I think there can be good uses for facebook (evangelization for example) but I have noticed that I was often tempted to pride when I had facebook. (I got rid of it some months ago). I would wonder how people see me, what type of "image" I give of myself through the combination of my profile picture, cover image, and what I post... I would want pictures of myself to look nice (vanity)... it also was addictive and took up much time. I'm glad I posted Catholic things but I also spent much time looking at people's profiles etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMariaPurissima Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 Sorry for not responding sooner...Anyways, thank you very very much to everyone who chimed in. It was very helpful. Also, as usual I was over-reacting anyway -- nothing further came of the situation. I started praying the Litany of Humility and that has helped. I am much more at peace about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He is Risen! Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Yes, watch out for the Litany of Humility! It takes a lot of courage to pray it with sincerity but there are massive graces to be had from it. It's like a hot chili pepper, painful but so good, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 The Litany of Humility is so powerful - and yes, demands a lot of courage. Another good, bold prayer for humility, I find, is the Anima Christi. Not only does it help me to remember that I can do nothing myself - nothing without God - the words, "Passion of Christ, strengthen me" are, in my view, really all about humility. But yes, it does take effort to pray these sincerely. They are VERY bold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Yes, watch out for the Litany of Humility! It takes a lot of courage to pray it with sincerity but there are massive graces to be had from it. It's like a hot chili pepper, painful but so good, haha. Ah I'm so sorry I gave you reputation for this post and then flagged it without meaning to :( anyways it is true it does take courage to pray it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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