HisChildForever Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I'm in a very odd emotional state right now. My grandmother passed on Monday, the wake was Thursday, Mass and burial this morning. And my wedding is in 8 days. Over the past week I've spent long hours at the hospital between florist and venue appointments. Wednesday evening I was at my final fitting, my mom helping me with my dress while simultaneously fielding calls about the funeral. How can I be excited when this morning I put a rose on her casket? I can't even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 HCF, I can't imagine what you're going through. I do believe the joy of your wedding day will take over as you get closer (adrenaline does that). Nevertheless it's also true your day will be different than if your grandma was there to celebrate. Hugs and prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I'm praying for you, HCF. You and your grandma both have new beginnings right now - you in your married life, she in her eternity - and hopefully your day will be beautiful and blessed in its own way in spite of your grief. Love and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Prayers HCF, for you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not The Philosopher Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Look at it this way - your upcoming marriage and starting of a family will be a way to continue your grandmother's legacy. Also, as Catholics who believe in the Communion of Saints, you will be raising up descendants who can pray for her, and at some point she will be able to pray for you and your descendants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Praying for you and your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Prayer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 I am so sorry. You probably have already thought of this, but perhaps there is some way--maybe more than one way--that you can incorporate your grandmother into your wedding. For example, perhaps she had a piece of jewelry you can wear as a memento, even if it is something that doesn't show under your wedding dress. A small piece of jewelry, or even a rosary, could be incorporated into the flowers of your bouquet. Although it's too late now to mention your grandmother in your wedding program, there is almost certainly some way for the priest to mention your grandmother in the wedding service/Mass. Also, depending on the schedule of your wedding day or the next day, perhaps there is a way for you and your new husband to visit your grandmother's grave, and put a few of the flowers from your bouquet on her grave. If your bouquet flowers aren't possible, there is a lovely Jewish custom, still practiced today, of placing a small stone or two on the grave of a loved one. The custom probably started because there weren't a lot of flowers in Israel. Small stones don't wither like flowers, and they remain on the grave even if it's windy or rainy. Placing a stone on a relative's grave is still considered a mark of high respect and love for the relative, even in modern Jewish practice. Another thought--either before or after the wedding you could light a candle for your grandmother in the church where you are being married. If you find that on your wedding day, there are any aspects of the "celebration part" of your wedding that you feel you want to "tone down" because you are still grieving, there is nothing wrong with that, and anyone who didn't understand would just have to live with it. The most important part of a wedding are the Sacramental promises you and your new husband are making--everything else is extra, and there are no "rules" about how to celebrate. Although other people's expectations/preferences are usually taken into account in the wedding and reception, in the end, it is what YOU are comfortable with. Grief is difficult (to put it mildly). However, I don't think that a celebration so soon after a close family death is "unsuitable." Your grandmother would have been VERY happy on the day of your wedding, and I suspect, would not have wanted her death to interfere with your joy. Bottom line: Do whatever YOU and your future husband feel is most comfortable and respectful on your wedding day. I confess that I don't understand the details of how purgatory and heaven "work," but I personally believe that your grandmother will be there standing next to you on your wedding day. I'm sure she was very happy that you had found a man that you loved enough to marry. And yes, huge congratulations on your upcoming wedding! To be blessed with a husband to share your life with, and ideally, with children to follow, is one of God's greatest gifts. Life is like that--it's not unusual to have grief and happiness/blessings at the same time. Among other things, having a husband who loves and cares for you be there as support to you will almost certainly help with your grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 So sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I've definitely been thinking of you off and on since I read your FB post. I'm excited for you for your upcoming wedding, but I grieve for you at the loss of your grandmother. I pray that Mary provides you comfort in your grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 What beatitude said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 Thank you all for your support and prayers <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I agree with everything Iggy said. Just remember that it's okay to feel a mix of emotions and it's okay to be happy on your wedding day - even though you are still grieving. Many prayers for your family and for the repose of your gramma's soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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