oremus1 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 can they be mates and email each other and stuff - just like with normal people or priest- friends?what if they are a young woman.bishops are very holy. they are not like normal people. people have to kiss their ring and call them excellency and stuff. they are very important. so what does one do? is it appropriate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I don't think there are rules regarding who a bishop can or can't befriend, or correspond with via email. We can't act like clergy can't have friends. I think there probably would have to be some limits, though, especially if the friend in question is a young woman, or a single woman. But I think this goes for all clergy. It's not unheard of for people of even the best intentions to become overly attached to a member of clergy that they get to know very well. In worse cases, there would also be the situation where the friendship becomes too involved to the point where it could cause scandal. I know some people would probably roll their eyes at that, but it does happen. Even so, in practical terms, clergy are generally very busy people, particularly bishops -- so they can't be expected to just always meet for coffee after mass like you would do with most friends or mull over a lot of personal email when they're looking after their flock. So, correspondence and friendship is certainly possible -- but realistically I'd think there would be limits in some circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotpink Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Well, I don't think it's appropriate for anyone to go about trying to befriend a public figure, if that is the mayor or bishop or even your county clerk. I think that if you join, let's say, a model airplane club and your bishop just happens to be a memeber and you're both interested in that then it's easy to become friends. Or maybe like habitat for humanity or some soup kitchen project. I am friends with many priests and a handful of nuns from stuff we did together. I disagree that bishops are "very important" and that you have to kiss their ring and all that nonsense. I've met a few bishops...even the Archbishop of NY. He took a selfie with me. I met Bishop Smith when he came to the Newman center on my campus to confirm some students. I didn't see anyone kiss his ring. He was a pretty normal guy who laughed at some internet videos that people passed around on their iphones. I'm a guy so I guess the whole idea of "making friends" is kinda bizarre to me. I don't set out to make friends, ever. Friendship is something that happens with relationship. relationship is something that happens when you are in proximity to a person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Nothing wrong with kissing a bishop's ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Well, I don't think it's appropriate for anyone to go about trying to befriend a public figure, if that is the mayor or bishop or even your county clerk. I think that if you join, let's say, a model airplane club and your bishop just happens to be a memeber and you're both interested in that then it's easy to become friends. Or maybe like habitat for humanity or some soup kitchen project. I am friends with many priests and a handful of nuns from stuff we did together. I disagree that bishops are "very important" and that you have to kiss their ring and all that nonsense. I've met a few bishops...even the Archbishop of NY. He took a selfie with me. I met Bishop Smith when he came to the Newman center on my campus to confirm some students. I didn't see anyone kiss his ring. He was a pretty normal guy who laughed at some internet videos that people passed around on their iphones. I'm a guy so I guess the whole idea of "making friends" is kinda bizarre to me. I don't set out to make friends, ever. Friendship is something that happens with relationship. relationship is something that happens when you are in proximity to a person. 1) It's a sign of respect to kiss his ring, and it is a tradition. The absence of many people doing it does not mean that you shouldn't. 2) I'm a guy and I set out to make friends. Making friends is not an exclusive thing for girls. I'd imagine the reason you don't set out to make friends has to do more with being a probable introvert than being a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not The Philosopher Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I'm a guy so I guess the whole idea of "making friends" is kinda bizarre to me. I don't set out to make friends, ever. Friendship is something that happens with relationship. relationship is something that happens when you are in proximity to a person. Making friends has a similar recipe to making red velvet cake: just replace the dye with friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotpink Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 1) It's a sign of respect to kiss his ring, and it is a tradition. The absence of many people doing it does not mean that you shouldn't. 2) I'm a guy and I set out to make friends. Making friends is not an exclusive thing for girls. I'd imagine the reason you don't set out to make friends has to do more with being a probable introvert than being a guy. 1) I do think it's stupid, regardless of tradition. They are people. Maybe if you're at some sort of ceremony honoring him but when a bishop shows up to things it's terribly stuffy 2) I don't know about introvert or extrovert. I just feel like setting out to make friends is a fake, childish thing to do and will end up in disappointment. Setting out making friends is putting an expectation of relaionship on a stranger. I set out to do things with people who may or may not like me, who I may or may not get along with. If they do like me, and I get along with them then we become friends, but I never go into something hopping to make friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 1) I do think it's stupid, regardless of tradition. They are people. Maybe if you're at some sort of ceremony honoring him but when a bishop shows up to things it's terribly stuffy 2) I don't know about introvert or extrovert. I just feel like setting out to make friends is a fake, childish thing to do and will end up in disappointment. Setting out making friends is putting an expectation of relaionship on a stranger. I set out to do things with people who may or may not like me, who I may or may not get along with. If they do like me, and I get along with them then we become friends, but I never go into something hopping to make friends. 1) Your face is stupid. 2) I don't see how making friends is "childish", but whatever floats your boat, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotpink Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 1) Your face is stupid. 2) I don't see how making friends is "childish", but whatever floats your boat, I guess. 1) That's a personal attack. I'm entitled to think some traditions are stupid. 2) I didn't say making friends is childish, I said setting out to make friends is. I'm going to be nice here becuase you sound very young, but yeah, you sound really young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I guess you've never heard of networking, aka adults setting out to make friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Questions that have been asked multiple times before and that contain loaded statements such as "Bishops are very holy. They are not like normal people" are obviously designed to cause trouble, not to get serious answers. I'm surprised people are still falling for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oremus1 Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 We got chatting over emails Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Last time I met with one of my bishops, he had just arrived at my parish at 9am from a 3 hour drive so he could do the Rite of Election for us. I met his car and said "Good Morning, your Excellency." He kind of grunted and squinted at me, while walking around to the back of his car to grab his vestments. I think he would have eaten me if I had tried to kiss his ring. After a half hour in front of the tabernacle (half sleeping, I think) he was much perkier. Bishops are totally just like normal people. I have a bunch of priest friends. I don't intend on ending our friendship if one of them gets made a bishop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 1) That's a personal attack. I'm entitled to think some traditions are stupid. 2) I didn't say making friends is childish, I said setting out to make friends is. I'm going to be nice here becuase you sound very young, but yeah, you sound really young. Eh, in some situations you might want to "set out to make friends." At work, for example, or when you meet someone new. I see being friendly and making sure the other person feels comfortable with you as "making friends," even if you just remain acquaintances. Not the age thing again. Anything but that. -_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Bishops need friends, too, from both the clergy and the laity. A bishop was recently (end of last year) installed in my former diocese, after over a year of the diocese having no bishop. He was invited to live at the deanery, but he chose to live at a parish (my former parish, in fact!) so that he could be around people and, presumably, make friends with parishioners and laity within the diocese. He's pretty good buddies with the parish priest there, is friendly with some of the youth and has his own Facebook account. Of course, there would need to be some limits or boundaries, but I believe it's very important for him to have contacts and support from a broad area, and to have people in his life with whom he can relax, unwind, and just be himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now