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Social media and narcissism


MarysLittleFlower

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MarysLittleFlower

I watched a documentary where the commentator spoke about problems in education today. He spoke about lack of discipline and lack of knowledge of history and culture, but also about how social media promotes narcissism. There is no longer anything private, and theres this whole "it didn't happen if its not on Facebook" mentality. He talked about selfies and wanting to get more 'likes' to feel better about oneself. He also gave clips of young people who know all about social media and TV but not deeper topics. I was wondering what does everyone think about that? I'm not saying things like facebook can't be used for a good purpose, for example when I had it I used it to share the faith. But I did notice it affected me in other ways, and also took up a lot of time, so I ended up deleting it. Any thoughts? :)

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I grew up in the 90s and remember the world before computers, smartphones, social media. When I look at kids today their world seems so different than mine. I don't get it. I guess technically I'm a "Millennial" but I don't really get the whole digital culture. I wouldn't want to be born into it.

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This is pretty standard knowledge among media scholars. If you want to learn more about this, read the big media ecologists: Marshall McLuhan (not an easy guy to read), Neil Postman (tv's worst enemy), Joshua Meyrowitz (my personal favorite so far), and Fr. Walter Ong, SJ.

There's pop versions of this, too, more focused on social media specifically:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Shallows-Internet-Doing-Brains/dp/0393339750

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465031463/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687662&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0393339750&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=05BR6KZF3T9Q11H8NXG5

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Complicated-Social-Lives-Networked/dp/0300199007/ref=pd_sim_14_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1VJ8F66P32QZE0BKKN7R

Etc.

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Credo in Deum

I know first hand that social media promotes narcissism. For the longest time I used to 'like' my own statuses.   It was bad.

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HopefulHeart

I haven't used social media for long, but I've noticed that it sometimes encourages self-assertiveness. Basically, an attitude of "Look at me, and see how funny/clever/etc. I am!" When I post on media, I try to think about my reasons for posting. Am I posting to benefit others, to share my life with others, or to attain some personal gratification?

Also, I found that spending a lot of time on the Internet negatively impacts my attention span for other activities, like reading.

So, I believe the virtues of temperance and prudence are needed when dealing with social media.

Edited by HopefulHeart
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Also, I found that spending a lot of time on the Internet negatively impacts my attention span for other activities, like reading.

Absolutely. This is one major thing the media ecologists talk about. The primary means of communication in any era massively shapes our neural pathways, and so the ways we can and can't think, but especially the predominant way in which we think. I see already in my (college) students that they are much more shallow thinkers, eager to quickly hop around from one idea to another without ever digging deeply into anything—just like one uses links online.

And attention span... Lawd, who has one of those anymore?

 

So, I believe the virtues of temperance and prudence are needed when dealing with social media.

And aren't those the virtues we are least proficient in these days, as a culture? Excess everywhere... "Just do whatever you feel like"...

 

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Credo in Deum

I haven't used social media for long, but I've noticed that it sometimes encourages self-assertiveness. Basically, an attitude of "Look at me, and see how funny/clever/etc. I am!" When I post on media, I try to think about my reasons for posting. Am I posting to benefit others, to share my life with others, or to attain some personal gratification?

Also, I found that spending a lot of time on the Internet negatively impacts my attention span for other activities, like reading.

So, I believe the virtues of temperance and prudence are needed when dealing with social media.

I think this applies when dealing with any form of media or online community.  I've seen myself deal with these issues even here on Phatmass.  

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Any time something happens to me or I think of something witty/interesting/funny (which happens CONSTANTLY because, well I am ME), I always organize it into a facebook post or status update or something. And then I hate myself.

I was off facebook for a while and it was nice, but since so many people use it as there primary or secondary mode of communication I would practically be a hermit. Maybe if I had better real-world social skills it wouldn't affect me as much but for not I use the internet as a crutch. It's either that or nothing.

Did I mention that I hate myself lol?

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Credo in Deum

Any time something happens to me or I think of something witty/interesting/funny (which happens CONSTANTLY because, well I am ME), I always organize it into a facebook post or status update or something. And then I hate myself.

I can completely relate to this, lol.  I do the same thing and then aftwards...well

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MarysLittleFlower

I can relate to a lot of what was said... When I had facebook I noticed my vanity coming through in wanting to post to be perceived a certain way. And yes it can happen here too. After I got rid of facebook I.did lose contact with many many people and now I speak mostly only to people I see in church... (With a few exceptions). It can be discouraging in a way but overall I'm glad I got rid of it :)

I totally agree with how media in general forms neural pathways. Have you noticed how modern music TV and everything is very fast? When I first started going to TLM everything seemed SO slow because of the chants. Especially during the Gradual I didn't know what to DO. I can see now I had a very weak interior life too. But I think partly that was from avoiding silence and constantly seeking external stimuli.

Anyway I got used to the Mass and learned to pray in it and began to actually love silence. But since i don't have TV and I listen to lots of old music (with only some exceptions), when I hear music at the mall it feels aggressive to me with all the drums, and TV feels very fast etc. So I think our brains definitely get used to what we give them and my taste in music totally changed just from what I listened to.  

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Any time something happens to me or I think of something witty/interesting/funny (which happens CONSTANTLY because, well I am ME), I always organize it into a facebook post or status update or something. And then I hate myself.

I was off facebook for a while and it was nice, but since so many people use it as there primary or secondary mode of communication I would practically be a hermit. Maybe if I had better real-world social skills it wouldn't affect me as much but for not I use the internet as a crutch. It's either that or nothing.

Did I mention that I hate myself lol?

I read some advice from the great Kurt Vonnegut recently, seems like great advice to me:

 

No matter what age any of us is now, we are going to be bored and lonely during what remains of our lives.

We are so lonely because we don’t have enough friends and relatives. Human beings are supposed to live in stable, like-minded, extended families of fifty people or more.

Your class spokesperson mourned the collapse of the institution of marriage in this country. Marriage is collapsing because our families are too small. A man cannot be a whole society to a woman, and a woman cannot be a whole society to a man. We try, but it is scarcely surprising that so many of us go to pieces.

So I recommend that everybody here join all sorts of organizations, no matter how ridiculous, simply to get more people in his or her life. It does not matter much if all the other members are morons. Quantities of relatives of any sort are what we need.

http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/05/12/kurt-vonnegut-if-this-isnt-nice-fredonia/

Edited by Era Might
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I read some advice from the great Kurt Vonnegut recently, seems like great advice to me:

 

Bowling Alone talks about this.

Also Refrigerator Rights.

Any time something happens to me or I think of something witty/interesting/funny (which happens CONSTANTLY because, well I am ME), I always organize it into a facebook post or status update or something. And then I hate myself.

I was off facebook for a while and it was nice, but since so many people use it as there primary or secondary mode of communication I would practically be a hermit. Maybe if I had better real-world social skills it wouldn't affect me as much but for not I use the internet as a crutch. It's either that or nothing.

Did I mention that I hate myself lol?

This is why I never went on Facebook. When I started getting pelted with pressure from my friends to do it, I said, "Whoa. Why is EVERYONE doing this? There must be something wrong..."

I once wrote this in response to a friend who wouldn't let up:

Facebook: Because productivity is overrated.

Facebook: For the truly time-management-challenged...

Facebook: To hell with "If you love it, let it go..."

Facebook: Because I don't care enough to call you.

Facebook: The very reason I can sum up my whole life in one line.

Facebook: Just say no!

Facebook: "I wouldn't hack anywhere else..."

Facebook: At least it feels like somebody cares...

Facebook: Just in case you didn't feel popular enough in high school...

Facebook: Because, even in relationships, quantity beats quality any day.

Facebook: Who needs celebrity gossip when all these profiles are open???

Facebook: Big Brother is closer than you think.

Facebook: Because obviously I didn't get enough attention at home.

Facebook: Not really a face. Not really a book. Not really a friend?

Facebook: Killing 303 birds with one stone. My, aren't we efficient?

Facebook: Got gossip?

Facebook: What else do we have to talk about?

Facebook: For the generation too weak to say goodbye.

I Facebook, therefore I am?

Facebook: It's all about me!

Facebook: "Add Friend # 98273848593832719839498?" Why the hell not?

If P(Facebook)=1, then P(Intelligence)=0.

Facebook: Everything to everyone. Won't you join the fun?

Facebook: Providing PI solutions for ex-girlfriends worldwide.

Facebook: For the (wo)man too busy for real relationships.

Facebook: Because one line really is enough to express all my thoughts.

Facebook: 10,000 dead in India. 25,000 tortured in Iraq. 7 million starving in Ghana. "Dude, come to my amesome party this Friday!"

Facebook: Because not much is on my mind.

Edited by Gabriela
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Somehow in crowds of people I tend to feel more lonely not less... 

Yeah, I think it's because of alienation...not because the crowd makes someone lonely, but because you are not a part of it. Try changing your thinking and see how it changes your perspective. The essence of community seems to be recognizing that one person's present is tied to another's. Even in a crowd of strangers, you may see a bunch of people doing random things...eating, reading, walking...but where are they going? Why are they eating what they are eating? Or reading what they are reading? The first step to community, maybe, is just interest in the present...the lonely crowd is a crowd that lacks interest in each other. Nobody cares about your present, and you don't care (or don't know how to enter) into theirs.

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Somehow in crowds of people I tend to feel more lonely not less... 

= why I hate NYC.

If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. When we have a lot of something, we devalue it. When something is rare, we value it highly. It's kind of like supply-and-demand pricing applied to people (God forgive me). If we see there are a bajillion people dying in Africa, we think, "Oh well, one more dead African. Big deal." But if we see one member of an endangered species dying, we flip out.

IMO, this is why it's absolutely essential to civilization to embrace Catholic values on human life. Because without them, our instincts (or culturally shaped tendency to apply economic thinking to everything) is inhumane and just plain awful.

Edited by Gabriela
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