Silence in Church

[Basilisa Marie]

How can we promote quiet in church after Mass? And if you're trying to pray after Mass and others around you are chatting, how do you fight frustration or judging them? 

As per the fighting frustration/etc part, what I find helpful is remembering that the Mass isn't about you. You bring your personal prayer to it, of course, and the priest offers up your sacrifice and his and ours together on the altar, but it's not about you. Go home and pray in your room if you want prayer about you. Mass is where we come together as a community, as a church, warts and all. 

It's harsh, and I struggle with it, but so far it's been the most helpful thing. 

 

[Gabriela]

I once had a priest who gave a homily about quiet after mass and the congregation literally stampeded out. The next week they were back to their chatty selves. 

I was of the opinion that no change could ever be made without a priest insisting on it. So this is discouraging.

Maybe a priest who repeatedly brings it up and puts signs on the doors and whatnot could pull it off? 

[truthfinder]

I was of the opinion that no change could ever be made without a priest insisting on it. So this is discouraging.

Maybe a priest who repeatedly brings it up and puts signs on the doors and whatnot could pull it off? 

I'm not so sure.  I think what did help a little was when they started offering snacks outside after Mass. Those who wanted to pray stayed in the Church, and those who wanted to mingle probably also wanted a snack.  Considering there have been numerous signs over the years about not wearing tank tops and shorts during the summer, it still happens (and peculiarly enough it's always the older parishioners who think they're exempt from the rules - they're also the chattiest). 

[Spem in alium]

Oh yes, older parishioners seem to be the worst! Talking before Mass, after Mass....even during Mass.

I agree that organ music is invaluable after Mass. I generally notice it does stop people from talking.

But it really does depend on where you are, and upon the culture of the place. In Rome, it's very common for people to use churches as a meeting or gathering place, which shocked me the first time I saw it --- people chatting while the Mass is going on, yakking away through the Consecration, etc. One of my Sisters mentioned to me that it even happens during weddings - I'm not sure that she was at the particular wedding she was telling me about, but she said that only the bride, groom, and the priest were participating in the Mass --- everyone else was having a right old time chatting in the pews. 

 

[Catlick]

My solution: Wait for the VII generation to die. That should improve the situation quite a bit in many parishes.

True. Also my thought when confronted with people-not-kneeling, receiving Communion in the hand, never confessing, shaking hands with everyone at the Sign of Peace, singing idiotic Evangelical songs, etc. etc. 

The post-VII generation can be compared to people who migrate at fifteen, never speak their native language anymore, and are thus unable to speak their mother tongue when they visit their birth country after fifty years. 

[superblue]

some of the chatter that happens before and after mass is because that is the only time some people see each other, doesn't make things any better though.

It does make me wonder though how silent it is in a Synagogue or a Mosque.... is there a constant reverence held at these places of worship or no.

With a general lack of teaching about reverence at mass and in Church even when mass isn't taking place, that it is still a Holy place as indicated by the Tabernacle Candle that is usually constantly lit unless it burns out or for Good Friday etc.... The priest back at my old parish before i moved did start to finally have enough of the chatter to finally start mentioning how distracting it is for him to try and say mass and that he can easily hear and see people conversing, and he tried to mention the importance of silence, but to no avail i think his words were because he has a hard accent to understand and people usually look blazed and confused when ever he talks. But i understood what he said so  come on...   An even if the T.Candle wasn't lit, that doesn't mean the church is not holy, it is still the house of the Lord...  

But again lack of teaching, culture, etc as has already been stated, an has also been stated the need for individuals to learn that inner silence and really to learn to tune others out, kind of how parents tune out children after a point.   But then one also has to remember that God doesn't only accept our prayers in a Catholic Church, we need that quiet place in our homes or  a special quiet place in town or out on a walk etc.

It is a bit sad though that as a congregation people lose common sense, but individually it is a bit more easy to ask someone to quiet down.... an then you have those who literally think they own the church because of their time spent either in physical labor there or in large donations, so then that must entitle that person to pretty much park where and talk when ever.... it is a mixed bag of nuts our church.  An that is just the topic of silence, an entire other topic is how to remind people that just because mass has ended an go in peace, doesn't mean run each other over in the parking lot to get to your car and race out of there and give each other dirty looks an just go on as if nothing ever took place for the past hour.

[Makarioi]

Not all Catholic Churches are the same. I'm fortunate to be surrounded by many Catholic churches. Some encourage chatter before Mass as they are a "Community".  It's probably the only time some folks see their friends.  Some pastors have actually explained the "rules" for a homily. There have been times that I'm trying to pray among stories of gastric ailments and surgeries.  The "churches" range from semi traditional -- kind of quiet before Mass to traditional-- quiet with signage for silence and proper dress and no gum chewing/ eating/ drinking 1 hour before Mass with confession every Saturday before Mass and even receiving Communioin kneeling at the altar rail (love it).  Some have the Tabernacle in plain view and others do not. 

[beatitude]

At one parish I attended the priest put signs up. They were quite tactful, with a bit of humour - they encouraged people to chat only to God, as he's their best friend and they're visiting his house, and to wait until they get outside to talk to other friends. That had a good effect.

Noise in church really makes me angry and it's a huge challenge for me to stay charitable. I think it is partly because my hearing is very acute, so even a slight sound intrudes on me - when my grandmother visited I woke up at the sound of her bedroom slippers shuffling against the carpet, which should give you some idea of what it's like to have people chatting even in the narthex, behind the glass doors that separate it from the nave and sanctuary. Technically it's fine to talk there but I can still hear every word they say. So when people are talking in the pew behind me it makes me want to turn round and eat them. The only way I have of coping with it is to quietly ask God's forgiveness for my impatience and go to pray somewhere else. I visit the church when it's emptier.

[truthfinder]

people chatting even in the narthex, behind the glass doors that separate it from the nave and sanctuary. 

I guess I'm lucky where I'm at.  We've got big thick wood doors that separate the entrance from the church, and people usually congregate there before and after Mass to chat.  Luckily, when it gets close to Mass time, the priests will start ushering people outside or into the hall to talk, so by the time Mass starts it's quiet again. 

[josephine]

What worked pretty good in my church is the coffeeroom! In almost every church in my country is a coffeeroom next to the church and the priest invites everyone during the announcements. Works like a charm! everyone can go there to eat and drink and meet their friends. It builds community. people who stay in church can stay for prayer - IN SILENCE.