Catholics Marry, Just Not at Church

[little2add]

The National Vital Statistics System estimates that there were 2,118,000 marriages celebrated in the United States in 2011. Only 163,775 marriages were celebrated in U.S. Catholic churches. That is just 7.7 percent of all marriages.  Catholics make up nearly a quarter of the population and are no less likely to marry than those of other affiliations. “This means “that Catholics marrying these days are just as likely...to celebrate their marriages at the beach or country club than in their parish.”

Only half of catholic weddings that I have attended in the last year were performed in churches or synagogues, it seems to be the trend now for millennium generation.

the parents and grandparents were disappointed but happy that at least their kids married instead of just living together

Edited September 10, 2015 by little2add

[Oremoose]

I wonder how those numbers correlate with those couples being faithful practicing Catholics rather than just saying they are out of habit.

[Nihil Obstat]

Many and perhaps most of those marriages are likely invalid due to lack of canonical form.

[little2add]

Many and perhaps most of those marriages are likely invalid due to lack of canonical form.

technically ...  perhaps

in reality, however the union is every bit as valid as any church wedding 

[Nihil Obstat]

technically ...  perhaps

in reality, however the union is every bit as valid as any church wedding 

There is no technically about it. If canonical form is violated by those bound to it, the marriage is invalid. Both naturally and sacramentally, no marriage exists, period.

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

^^^Bingo! 

[Nihil Obstat]

^^^Bingo! 

I do not know you well, but I think we are going to be friends.

[Benedictus]

There is no technically about it. If canonical form is violated by those bound to it, the marriage is invalid. Both naturally and sacramentally, no marriage exists, period.

Unless they sought a dispensation. But yeah, most wouldn't have. I can understand why families are disappointed it's not being held through the church but, at the same time, I can also see why they are glad that, at least, the couple are getting married. It's sad though and a sort of race to the bottom. But who's fault is it but the family themselves, at least in many cases, if they raised someone to think this was a wise action?

[vee]

yup what nihil said

so what is there to debate?

[Nihil Obstat]

Unless they sought a dispensation. But yeah, most wouldn't have. I can understand why families are disappointed it's not being held through the church but, at the same time, I can also see why they are glad that, at least, the couple are getting married. It's sad though and a sort of race to the bottom. But who's fault is it but the family themselves, at least in many cases, if they raised someone to think this was a wise action?

Yes, that is true. I am willing to bet the majority, the overwhelming majority even, do not seek that dispensation. But probably a small handful would be included in that.

[dUSt]

technically ...  perhaps

in reality, however the union is every bit as valid as any church wedding 

Yeah, minus the God part of it.

Two non-Catholics married outside of Church = valid.

One or both Catholics married outside of Church = not valid.

[Maggyie]

This is one area where we really need reform. While a church setting is important, losing tens of thousands of souls in invalid marriages simply because of a logistical preference is not acceptable. This is a canonical form that can and should be altered. 

[MIKolbe]

Yes, that is true. I am willing to bet the majority, the overwhelming majority even, do not seek that dispensation. But probably a small handful would be included in that.

This implies the couple knows they need a dispensation.

When I got married, Shea was not Catholic.  I had no idea a dispensation for disparity of cult was required.  I was (and am) just a simpleton who wanted to get married in the Church. I went to the Priest and assumed he would say we could or couldn't get married in the Church.  If we needed to 'do something' we would have if, it were communicated.  But it wasn't.  It wasn't until diaconate screening this was brought to my attention, and advised a sanation may be required; as the parish either did not request or get the dispensation on our behalf, or they did and can't prove they did.  All of this may or may not be moot now as she was received into the Church last Easter.. but that's something different entirely....

I agree with Maggyie that this form should be altered. 

[Nihil Obstat]

It certainly can be altered. And it should be more clear to couples who were in your situation.

[Benedictus]

This is one area where we really need reform. While a church setting is important, losing tens of thousands of souls in invalid marriages simply because of a logistical preference is not acceptable. This is a canonical form that can and should be altered. 

Surely it's a matter of sacramental oversight and not simply about preference of location. If the church presumes all marriages as valid, as one example, then where would that leave it on a sacramental level? Is a marriage performed in a Catholic church, or with church permission outside of it, on equal parity with one that isn't? I would say no, not for a Catholic. If the church gave defacto recognition of all marriages then it would kill off the need to have an additional religious element in countries such as France.

However, there should be more promotion about how the laity can navigate these issues before and after a marriage has occured. Many parishes aren't great at dealing with this.  At the present time Catholics who marry outside the church without permission are barred from communion until the issue is resolved. The sad reality is that many Catholics, especially those not connected with parish life, couldn't care less. That's not to say there shouldn't be changes to deal with complex cases, but I just can't see how they could do reform without making the situation even more desperate and complicated.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Benedictus