What can I do to overcome my fear?

[DominicanHeart]

I don't know if this makes me a bad Catholic. I know I need to have faith and go to Confession frequently. But at the same time, I'm still terrified of death. Any advice on what I can do to overcome this?

[CatherineM]

Most humans are afraid of death. I have faced death. A man had his hands around my throat and was slamming my head into the ground. I saw the lights go dim and was sure I was dying. The last thing I remember is hearing my Dad's voice clearly. He'd died several years before. No doubt in my mind that he was there to welcome me home. When I came to later, I was actually surprised. 

I'm going to make a strange suggestion. I'd like you to visit a VA hospital or a nursing home and talk to some 90 year olds. They have a lot of life experience and are often quite open to death. It might give you some perspective. 

[Spem in alium]

What helped me overcome this fear (at least in some way) was talking to several elderly people, and reading "The God Who Comes" by Carlo Carretto. A very moving book which may help you.

Edited September 22, 2015 by Spem in alium

[blazeingstar]

I think it's very natural to be afraid of Confession.  This can stem from many things.  Most Western society encourages fear of being alone with men, especially older men. New confession standards of face to face make it difficult for those with spectrum disorders to confess as eye contact is encouraged.  Many people also don't know the order of Confession, and even if they do some priests may not follow it.  It may be good to find a confessor and go every 4 or 6 months.  That way it's routine, like the dentist. 

I think that fear of death is normal, but "fact-ing" faith can help ease those fears. 

Am I in mortal sin? No.  Ok good.  Since Mortal sin requires the deliberate consent of will if you're not sure you committed a mortal sin, very likely you didn't if you don't know.  If you have trouble with scruples, then talk to a priest.

Do I have venial sin?  Yes.  Have I gone to Mass this week?  Yes.  Ok venial sins forgiven.

After that you have to trust in the mercy of God.

[MarysLittleFlower]

I don't know if this makes me a bad Catholic. I know I need to have faith and go to Confession frequently. But at the same time, I'm still terrified of death. Any advice on what I can do to overcome this?

I have had really strong fears of death in the past, to the point that it would make me panic. I would recommend thinking about what in particular about death is frightening to you. It can be because of eternity and fear of not being saved, or just the way it "feels like" to die. My fear had a lot to do with this huge change, not knowing what it's like, and losing everything all of a sudden.

What helped me is realizing that God is with me now, and He will be with me as I'm dying, and afterwards.. so though everything else might change, God's grace in me and Him being close to me would not change and I can rely on that to be the one constant thing. Then as I considered God's love and how amazing it must be to meet Our Lord, my fear started going away.

I also read a book called "He and I" with approved revelations to a mystic (Gabrielle Bossis), and in it Jesus tells her to think of a different name for death, and to call it the "Meeting". It will be finally meeting Jesus face to face and Him welcoming us into His Kingdom, - even if after Purgatory. Focusing on this helped death to be less scary to me ..particularly the idea that Jesus will be with me then just as He is now, and would assist my soul, and Mother Mary and my Angel would also assist me. We can ask them here and now to help us in the moment of death, in advance, and trust that they will.

I've also thought about making death into a chance to experience something that Jesus experienced and share in His Cross in that way... so it's like our last cross to offer Him before eternity, and make it into an act of love. This is why Our Lady agreed to die, though she didn't have original sin. God bless you

Edited September 24, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower