Gabriela Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 @cappie: My best friend is getting married in two years. She wants a destination wedding with me as the officiant. She's not Catholic, never has been, and neither is/was her husband-to-be. I've told her I definitely can't get ordained and officiate, but she doesn't care about the ordination. She just wants me to be the one who runs the ceremony where they say their vows. Can I do that for them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 There are Catholics who are judges and ship's captains who officiate civilly over weddings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Yes. If she and her husband aren't baptized Catholic they aren't obligated to follow canonical form, just whatever civil form is legal for where they live. And you aren't getting ordained in any capacity, so you can totally be the one who runs the ceremony where they say their vows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Yes, my husband has done so. People have the right to natural marriage, and if they are not Catholic we can act in any reasonable capacity to do so. Catholics can become public notary's, and in the US they can officiate a marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I don't know when I went to my non Catholic friends funeral, my priest told me I could go but not do anything - not say any of the prayers etc. I had to refuse doing a talk they asked me to do. This would fall under communicatio in sacris. Though non Catholic weddings of non Catholics are valid (providing no divorce, correct intent etc) - I'm not sure if Catholics can officiate in them. The previous priest at my parish said its best to not even go due to communicatio in sacris, but in general if I need to go to a non Catholic service (like the funeral I mentioned) - I was told to not actively participate. This is what I was told by very knowledgeable priests. I understand people here are saying the wedding is valid and yes it is, but I don't think that automatically means we can actively participate. Active participation is communicatio in sacris while passive participation is not. I would advise you to speak to priests about this I realize you asked Cappie, but the responses so far have been from lay people. I just wanted to share what two priests have advised not just for me personally but general advice. I'm not sure how that reflects on judges and ships captains. I dont have all the answers but sharing what i was taught Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 There is a great deal of difference between attending a non-Catholic but religious service and a non-religious civil service. As an example, attending an Anglican funeral where communion will be served means you shouldn't receive obviously. Attending a memorial service in a VFW hall is a different issue entirely participation wise. I was asked to speak at a relative's funeral in a Baptist Church. No priest is going to tell you that you can't talk about how much you loved one of your Grandparents or what an incredible life they lived just because they weren't Catholic. Catholics don't have to be anti-social jerks just to prove our faith is superior. You can go to services in other Churches so long as you don't participate in their versions of communion. It doesn't excuse you from attending your regular mass though. I attended weddings for my brothers that included someone's living room, the back of a bingo hall, and a judge's chambers. I wish they'd gotten married in a Catholic Church, but that wasn't my decision. The judge was Catholic, and loved doing weddings so much that when he retired from the bench, he became a Deacon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) Catherine, I'm just going with what my priests said, who are definitely not uncharitable either I was told the prohibition is not just with Communion but with active participation in general. Since my friend who passed away was close and the circumstances were tragic, it was important for me to be there to support the family, but my priest let me know not to actively participate or do a eulogy. When a friend suggested I could do a eulogy I explained and she understood. I'm not just describing my own understanding but what two very orthodox priests told me. I understand people here have said otherwise, and I'm not saying that I know more, but in the end I have to trust my priest especially as what he said is very much in line with tradition. For this reason i recommend for Gabriela or anyone wondering about this to get priests advice we can still show charity by praying for the people, being there for them, offering Masses etc. I was also told that its advised to only attend a non Catholic service of any kind only for a serious reason. I visited a Protestant service just out of interest but then learned this and stopped, because it could be scandal or cause a precedent for me. I understand this is not the popular view but its how I was taught so I thought its something I could share for a different view. The point about communicatio in sacris is not only with Communion. Edited October 10, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 MLF- this is exactly why questions here used to only be answered by Clergy and those with Theology training. Instead of answers inline with actual teachings, now we get things that some priest said at some time about some issue that may or may not be about the actual issue at hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 It's a shame that you didn't get the chance to advise our Archbishop before he attended an Ecumenical service at a Protestant church. You could have saved him from falling into serious heresy. On the other hand, at least I don't get hate mail anymore when people don't agree with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I think we should go back to only those with a theological background answering these questions. Otherwise, it's as CM says, we get the 'he said, he said' type of opinion which is just divisive. Thanks, Catherine, for always being there with your theological knowledge, your charity and your good old fashioned common sense. This post can be deleted, but we really do need to address the issue of non-trained people giving answers from their opinions here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) It wasn't my intent to be divisive, but to be honest - I'm confused why mentioning what a priest said is invalid since they are trained. If I speak from my own position that doesn't say much. But my priest is theologically trained and trustworthy. But since others don't know my priest, I recommended they speak with their priest. I never spoke from my opinions or my own research. Also in my post I didn't actually say whether they can officiate the wedding or not - I said that I don't know, BUT that my priest did talk to me about not actively participating. How this reflects on officiating I don't know. I was bringing up another point for further consideration that's all. I then suggested talking to a priest about this specific topic of officiating. Edited October 11, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) @CatherineM The comment about the Bishop - I don't understand. It makes it sound like I think I'm above a Bishop just because I followed the advice of my priest. How is it prideful to follow advice given to me and to share it. I was also talking about communicatio in sacris and active participation, I said I don't understand about officiating in particular and suggested to speak to a priest on that specific question. I feel hurt by how you seem to be suggesting that I think I'm above a Bishop when I was following my priests advice. I feel that was a judgement of me and I don't understand why frankly. If you meant it differently I applogize. But I trust my priest and I don't think thats a bad thing. Not up to me to think about Bishops and I didn't bring that up. I was speaking of myself and about active participation, not even officiating, which i'll probably ask about out of interest. This is the last thing I'll say here. Fr Z talked about getting "ordained" to officiate a wedding if one is Catholic, and he spoke about such an ordination in the negative. Maybe I'm not trained but certainly Fr Z is. http://wdtprs.com/blog/2015/03/ask-father-becoming-minister-of-on-line-church-to-do-wedding/ Edited October 11, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_nine Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 question was answered, if you want to debate or discuss please start a new thread in the debate table or open mic. Your friendly neighborhood fascist, -Ice9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) Moved to debate table. As a reminder, do not reply to other answers. Only answer the original question directly and completely. If a different answer is bad, vote it down. If you do not know the official Catholic teaching first hand, do not answer. Edited October 11, 2015 by dUSt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Moved to debate table. As a reminder, do not reply to other answers. Only answer the original question directly and completely. If a different answer is bad, vote it down. If you do not know the official Catholic teaching first hand, do not answer. Good post. That is everything we need to keep q&a running smoothly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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