The Spiritual Life - Need Help

[Peace]

OK. My spiritual life is severely lacking and that needs to change.

I have been struggling with some sins. Recently when I have been going to confession, the priest will tell me that I need to get into a routine of praying the rosary, going to Mass more frequently,etc. I think that in a nutshell he is trying to tell me that I need to work on my spiritual life to avoid falling into the same patterns of sin again.

I have always been more attracted to the "truth" aspect of Catholicism. I tend to spend a lot of time reading stuff that relates to apologetics or theology. But lately I have been thinking that apologetics and theology is kind of BS.

Well. I would not go that far. Theology is good and I think that it can help people get closer to God. But I am starting to realize that it is not sufficient, and that it is in some ways inferior to what you might call some of the more "spiritual" aspects of Catholicism. It seems that one can develop a good relationship with God with much prayer and little knowledge of theology, but the opposite does not appear to be true. It does not seem that one can develop a good relationship with God with much theology and only a little prayer. For that reason I would call the more "spiritual" aspects of the Catholic faith to be superior to the "intellectual" aspects of the faith.  But they are both fruitful, of course.

A friend of mine recommended that I read a book called "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Fr. Jacques Philippe. This little book has pretty much been rocking my world since I got it, and has made me realize how much my spiritual life is bad and how much I need to work on it.

So my question is - have there been other people on this forum who have been in a similar situation, and how did you go about changing it?  

Specifically, I am wondering if anyone can recommend some authors, some practical books that people have used, or some concrete steps that some people have taken, in order to improve that aspect of their lives?

Peace

Edited October 3, 2015 by Peace

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

@Peace: Great post, thank you.  I'm currently going through the same boat and I have been trying to be consistent, and that's the thing I've found to be the most important. Spiritual books are great and I think are needed for guidence and meditation, but the consistency I'm talking about is being constant in being down right nitty-gritty with God.  God wants something which comes from you specifically, He wants your heart.  Tell Him what you think, what you don't understand, and maybe what you don't want to understand.  Tell Him what sins you struggle with, which ones cause you the most pain, and which ones you love and are afraid to give up.  Ask Him for favors, tell Him who you want to help but can't, or who you want to help but won't.  Basically give it all to Jesus.  

Now a disclaimer. What I wrote above is not suppose to be a substitution for the Sacraments, Scripture, spiritual reading, devotions, or other forms of structured prayer.  On the contrary these indispensable gifts will do nothing but help you with opening your heart to God and continuing to do so especially after you fall.   

While there are many books I would like to recommend, I will just list a couple. My reason is because most are small or booklets you can keep with you.

"Humility of Heart" by Fr. Cajetan Mary da Bergamol

"How to Converse with God" by Saint Alphonsus

"Be Still and Know that I am God" which is a small booklet found at www.anf.org (America Needs Fatima)

"The Noonday Devil" by Dom Jean-Charles Nault

"A Year with Mary" by Paul Thigpen 

Lastly a card I received from my priest called: "7 Practices to Nurture a Relationship with Jesud Christ"

1. Daily Personal Prayer. (Have a routine based upon approximate time of day and location, free of distraction)

--Spend a couple minutes reviewing the past 24 hours. Where was God at work in your life in those 24 hours? What are you grateful for in those last 24 hours? Was there any time when you felt distant from God?

--Spend a couple minutes looking ahead to the next 24 hours. What does God want from you today? What will you be facing that you need God's help? Hoe are you struggling with sin that you need help? Visualize how you wish these forthcoming struggles to go.  Invite God to walk with you in these next 24 hours. 

2. Daily reading. (At least 10 minutes daily from a book that provides spiritual nourishment.)

3. Read one chapter of the Gospels daily.

4. Stay close to our Blessed Mother (At a minimum, pray one decade of the Rosary daily)

5. Attend daily Mass at least once a week.

6. Make a sacramental confession at least one a week.

7. Make a Holy Hour each week before the Blessed Sacrament. (Preferably before the exposed Eucharist, at least one uninterrupted hour: reading, listening, stillness and silence.)

I will keep you in my prayers, Peace.  Also please say some prayers for my priest and for me.

Edited October 3, 2015 by Oremus Pro Invicem

[AccountDeleted]

I know it's particularly Carmelite but I really felt The Impact of God by Iain Matthew was good for this kind of problem. 

http://www.amazon.com/The-Impact-God-Soundings-Paperbacks/dp/0340612576 

[Amppax]

This makes me think of a passage from one of my favorite theologians, Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, OP. 

"Theology, too, helps us to discover the profound meaning of the Gospel. But the more theology progresses, the more, in a sense, it has to conceal itself; it has to disappear very much as John the Baptist disappears after announcing the coming of our Lord. It helps us to discover the deep significance of divine revelation contained in Scripture and Tradition, and when it has rendered this service it should stand aside. In order to restore our cathedrals, to set well-hewn stones into their proper place it is necessary to erect a scaffolding; but when once the stones have been replaced the scaffolding is removed and the cathedral once more appears in all its beauty. In a similar way theology helps us to demonstrate the solidity of the foundations of the doctrinal edifice, the firmness of its construction, the proportion of its parts; but when it has shown us this, it effaced itself to make place for that supernatural contemplation which proceeds from a faith enlightened by the gifts of the Holy Spirit, from a faith that penetrates and savours the truths of God, a faith that is united with love."

-The Three Ways of the Interior Life

[CatherineM]

Changing habits is hard. It takes 6 weeks to six months to add a good one or stop a bad one. As an example, liquid diets work because it is a total change. They don't help you keep off the weight, because they don't actually teach you different eating habits. As soon as you start eating real food again, boom.  Oprah showed us that up close  

What I'm trying to say is that just substituting something else for a bad habit can fail if you turn the new habit into an addiction instead. Believe it or not, I've counselled people who attempted to replace sexual sins with the rosary and then went loopy. One was saying over 50 a day trying to get ready for his wedding. He hadn't broken his porn habit, he'd replaced it temporarily. He hadn't actually learned a healthier vue of sexuality. He got married and fell right back into sin. 

You have to confront the spirituality of the sin itself. For sexual sins I recommend reading the Holy Longing by Fr. Ron Rolheiser. Many don't like his stuff, but his discription of the heat of our sexuality being able to burn us if we don't shield ourselves with chastity, makes it worth a read. I also recommend the book Holy Sex by Gregory Popcak. I have other recommendations for different types of sins, but sexual sinners are 95% of my counselees. 

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

Changing habits is hard. It takes 6 weeks to six months to add a good one or stop a bad one. As an example, liquid diets work because it is a total change. They don't help you keep off the weight, because they don't actually teach you different eating habits. As soon as you start eating real food again, boom.  Oprah showed us that up close  

What I'm trying to say is that just substituting something else for a bad habit can fail if you turn the new habit into an addiction instead. Believe it or not, I've counselled people who attempted to replace sexual sins with the rosary and then went loopy. One was saying over 50 a day trying to get ready for his wedding. He hadn't broken his porn habit, he'd replaced it temporarily. He hadn't actually learned a healthier vue of sexuality. He got married and fell right back into sin. 

You have to confront the spirituality of the sin itself. For sexual sins I recommend reading the Holy Longing by Fr. Ron Rolheiser. Many don't like his stuff, but his discription of the heat of our sexuality being able to burn us if we don't shield ourselves with chastity, makes it worth a read. I also recommend the book Holy Sex by Gregory Popcak. I have other recommendations for different types of sins, but sexual sinners are 95% of my counselees. 

It's a horrible sin and God bless you for helping!  I think the other thing that has helped has been going to a place like SA and being able to reach out to others who have sobriety and live it daily.  I will look up these recommendations.  Thank you for posting them. 

[NadaTeTurbe]

I would say that the first thing is to read a book to learn to pray. I have taken notes from an amazing book called "The art of prayers", I'm going to post it here when I go back from Mass. 

The book "Time for God" by Fr.Jacques Philippe is a really good book  

[Peace]

Thanks so much for the suggestions!

[NadaTeTurbe]

What is prayer ?
à It’s a concrete way of intimate union with the Christ
à It’s having a relationship with « someone »
à It’s an answer to God’s call

Why praying ?
à To meet the Christ : to be his friend
à Because it’s a request from God, that you can see in the Bible and in the beauty of the Creation
à To imitate the Christ
à To know yourself and grow in holiness
à To be more charitable with other
à To be in communion with the world and the Church
à For psychological and physical benefits
è We have to study our motivation for prayer, to go from « interested » prayer (what can I get from prayer ?) to a free prayer of love

Some principles :
1) We need to learn to pray !
Every musician learn music theory. Learning to pray help to pray on a long time (not giving up after one week). But of course we have to find balance, to let the Holy Spirit works.
2) We should not judge our prayer, but there’s way to see our progress
We should not look in ourself during prayer : it’s a confinement. It can be a source of pride and auto-satisfaction. Our critera will be subjective and personal. There can be illusion : we think we know, but only God knows. But we can see if we are faithful to our prayer life, etc... 
3) Every prayer life is unique.
We must not be daunted by other people testimony of their prayer life, specially these of the mystics of the church, so don’t compare your prayer life with other people.
4) One can study the prayer life of the Saints, but avoid fundamentalism in it. There is the danger to imitate their errors.
5) Of course, there’s a connection between everyday life and prayer life, but it’s not absolute. Even a sinner can and MUST pray. Don’t wait to be a saint !
6) It’s good to « feel » something during prayer but you don’t have to worry about not feeling anything.
We should not pray because we love these feelings during prayer, but only for the love of God. The absence of a feeling of sweetness, joy, etc… doesn’t mean the absence of God !

Some indications to pray :

1) The preparation

TIME : WE NEED A REGULAR TIME FOR GOD EVERY DAY. There’s the danger to pray two hours by day during two weeks, with a lot of enthousiasm, and then to stop, then to go back to it, etc… So we need to choose a time, and to fix it (it’s not « well, I did not pray well yesterday, so I’m not going to pray today »). [Personal Note : Again, "Time for God" by Jacques Philippe is very good)
For exemple : 30/45 minutes of prayer by day (with a longer time on the evening if you work on the morning, but it depends), and one hour on the Sunday.

Place : Choose a place that you like. Important : need silence in this place. Some objects to help to pray, but not too much, so you don’t clutter the mind. Important object : Bible, icons, candles. Treat all of these objects with respect. Treat your prayer place with respect.

The body : Be a friend with your body. Take differents position during prayers, learn the symbolism before. Be attentive to how you breath.

Before the prayer :

We are all living in the stressfull world. Before praying, we need to be calm. So we need to have a « decompression chamber » to prepare our body and our mind. It must be a time of non-effort : go out, listen to music, etc…

The prayer :

1) First time : Disposition*
A : Opening yourself to the presence of God : Emptying your mind of « you » to let God come in your heart.
Suggestion : Kneeling, say an act of faith (a Credo, the act of faith, etc…), slowly, while really believing it.
B :  Emptying your mind of « you » to let God come in your heart : Give your sins to God (Note from me : a priest once told me to visualize your sins, and then to really visualize God taking them). Ask God to purify our heart. Suggestion : Use the confiteor.
C : Let the Holy Spirit fills you. Suggestion : Use an hymn to the Holy Spirit like the Veni Sancte Spiritus

If you feel tension, you can’t focus, etc… extend this time of disposition with psalms (have a selection next to you, so you don’t have to search)

2) Second time : Orientation

We have now to understand that God speak with 3 languages :
* « Extraordinary » language : like vision, revelation, etc… Very rare 
*Ordinary language : the Word of God, in the Bible
*Language of the interior life : it’s the interior perception of His presence

A) Lectio Divina :
It’s a non-intellectual approach of the Bible (Note : perfect for you, no  ?)
-> You need to have a Bible and a notebook to write your questions, illumination, etc… (no screens, but paper !)
-> Respect the Bible : don’t play with it, put a candle next to it, etc…
-> You can : do a continue reading of a Bible book (like a Gospel, etc…), or choose a text from the Mass

There’s three ways to do Lection Divina. (note : seriously, if you can find a good book about it, or better, speak about it with a monk, do it.)
-> The « Monastic » way : To achieve interior peace. It’s slow. Key word : « Ruminate » the word of God. Repeat it many times. Think about the expression, the symbolism, etc… be attentive. Go deeper than the first thing that you read. And repeat, repeat, repeat.
-> The « ignatian » way : It’s an « active spiritual contemplation » of Jesus. You use your imagination : imagine the scene with your 5 senses. It’s an exercice with a harder for the young generation, because we are « saturated » with images.
-> Other school : Find connection between your life and the Gospel.

And… I have no more notes, because I can’t find the rest of them ! I don’t have the book, but I’m going to try to find it at my college library J It’s « L’art de la prière » by Mgr Vincent Jordy, bishop of Saint Claude (France).

 

*It’s the french word. Google said the good translation is « provision » but I don’t feel like it’s right. Feel free to translate ! 

[bardegaulois]

OK. My spiritual life is severely lacking and that needs to change.

I have been struggling with some sins. Recently when I have been going to confession, the priest will tell me that I need to get into a routine of praying the rosary, going to Mass more frequently,etc. I think that in a nutshell he is trying to tell me that I need to work on my spiritual life to avoid falling into the same patterns of sin again.

I have always been more attracted to the "truth" aspect of Catholicism. I tend to spend a lot of time reading stuff that relates to apologetics or theology. But lately I have been thinking that apologetics and theology is kind of BS.

Well. I would not go that far. Theology is good and I think that it can help people get closer to God. But I am starting to realize that it is not sufficient, and that it is in some ways inferior to what you might call some of the more "spiritual" aspects of Catholicism. It seems that one can develop a good relationship with God with much prayer and little knowledge of theology, but the opposite does not appear to be true. It does not seem that one can develop a good relationship with God with much theology and only a little prayer. For that reason I would call the more "spiritual" aspects of the Catholic faith to be superior to the "intellectual" aspects of the faith.  But they are both fruitful, of course.

A friend of mine recommended that I read a book called "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Fr. Jacques Philippe. This little book has pretty much been rocking my world since I got it, and has made me realize how much my spiritual life is bad and how much I need to work on it.

So my question is - have there been other people on this forum who have been in a similar situation, and how did you go about changing it?  

Specifically, I am wondering if anyone can recommend some authors, some practical books that people have used, or some concrete steps that some people have taken, in order to improve that aspect of their lives?

Peace

My first question would be, do you think that your confessor is trying to tell you to live a deeper spiritual life, or are you certain that he is? You always have the right to ask him, and to inquire as to what more he would suggest to you. I get the sense that you are one of those devout souls found in every parish who are not content merely to observe your religious duties strictly (as most are), but have a serious intention of making great efforts to co-operate with grace in order to achieve perfection. Most, however, who attempt to do this do not know how to go about it, and often fall and lose confidence. It is wise therefore, and your perfect right, to have the help, guidance, and direction of a priest on this matter.

However, not all priests are the same whether by character or formation, and thus we must seek out the counsel of a priest inspired with the spirit and teachings of the masters of the spiritual life. We can and should expect that every priest have a knowledge of dogmatic and moral theology and of Sacred Scripture, but even if this knowledge is complete with regard to every detail, it is still not enough. There is no substitute for that inspiration I spoke of earlier to do this work correctly. Even a strong piety will not remedy this lack. St Teresa once said that she would rather a confessor who was highly experienced in the principles of the spiritual life but who lacked great piety to a devoutly religious one who lacked the necessary knowledge.

All that said, I'm rather hesitant to answer your question, as it is really your director's role to put forward devotional works with his approval as suitable to help you resolve your spiritual problems and difficulties. This is very important, as not all devotional works are right for every particular penitent, and to read the wrong work could be quite ineffectual and even damaging to one's faith. Many works have described the spiritual director as a physician of souls, and thus he must be aware of all of his clients' particular needs and conditions, and also what the appropriate remedy for every spiritual ill is. To give the wrong remedy would be like giving a sick man the wrong medicine. It thus ought to be obvious that in order to do this he must be thoroughly acquainted with the spiritual teachings found in Sacred Scripture and in the Church Fathers that help the faithful follow Christ more perfectly and attain to Christian perfection.

In short, do find a spiritual director and confessor to whom you can be confident submitting your will. Alas, I think priests like this are in somewhat short supply these days, but that provides some incentive for prayer that you may find one (or that he may find you). I will remember this in my prayers tonight, and I'd like to invite all reading this to remember this intention.

God bless.

[Gabriela]

I have been in this situation. In fact, it was precisely this situation that led directly to my (true) conversion. There's only so much you can get at with your head. You have to open up your heart. And your life. And your everything.

I find it ironic (and typical of a head-person) that you are recognizing the limitations of the intellectual approach, and yet still asking for books to help you get past this. My recommendation would be to start trying to spend more time praying and less time reading, at least until you get past this. By "praying" I don't mean verbal prayer. I mean just sitting alone with God, maybe in a Blessed Sacrament chapel or in Adoration, if you can get there.