Going to a wedding, need advice

[MarysLittleFlower]

I'm going to a Traditional Latin Mass wedding of a close friend in November. I only have one outfit to choose from and its a long black "maxi" skirt with a black top that has large purple flowers and I'll get a light coloured cardigan over it. My question is do you think that's too much black for a wedding? I don't really have another option though. Hopefully the cardigan would lighten it up. I'll also be wearing a mantilla but probably grey. Do you think that's appropriate for a wedding? Can you wear non white mantillas? This isn't a summer wedding so maybe I could get away with darker colours? Any thoughts? I'm just asking about what is appropriate not in terms of fashion thanks!

[Nihil Obstat]

You can wear whatever colour mantilla you want. White is customary for unmarried women, but by no means a hard and fast rule.

For clothing, black is a traditional, formal colour. Difficult to wear too much IMO. With a lighter cardigan there should be no issues whatsoever as long as the ensemble is dressy to the expected extent.

[NadaTeTurbe]

Dark is not really an appropriate colour for a wedding, like white, but if it's just the skirt (since you will have a top and a cardigan with a little of colour), I think it's okay. Do you know if your friend is really uncompromising on this kind of question ? And a grey mantilla is actually a great idea : you will not attract attention in wedding pictures. 

The traditional "rules" to dress in a wedding are : no white/cream, no full dark, noble materials, not showing too much skins, and not being neglected. 

[Maggyie]

Is it an evening wedding? For day time sounds like a bit too much black. Although if it's a cheerful colored cardigan it could be ok. It's just with it being a maxi skirt it really  emphasizes the black. If knee length I would say go for it no question. Nowadays I've even seen bridal parties in black and that used to be beyond the pale. 

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

I think a lot of the rules for proper dress at a wedding have been loosened over the years, so you're probably fine. If you were in head-to-toe black, including a hat with face veil that might be different. But, unless you are a member of the wedding party or a close family member who will be in a lot of pictures, I doubt that anyone will even notice what you're wearing--ideally they'll be looking at the bride.

Just try not to do anything that particularly grabs attention, like knocking over the wedding cake or getting so drunk that you dance on the tables. 

[Spem in alium]

At my friend's wedding I wore almost full black, though my dress had some red roses and white patterns on it. I needed to wear something that would also be suitable for the evening reception as I didn't have time to change (though I did change my shoes as I didn't want to be in heels all day). I think what you've planned is fine. 

[Basilisa Marie]

You're probably fine. I generally tend to go with lighter or brighter colors for day weddings and receptions and darker ones in the evening or more formal ones. 

[blazeingstar]

I wore a knee-length off-white dress to my own wedding.  My hubby wore a shirt and tie.  Both of our fathers, his uncle and my grandfather had suits on because that was "expected"  my brother, his cousin did not.  I had an early fall, early morning wedding.  Only real rule-wear something nice.

If you're dressed nice then who the heck cares.

Side note tho, I'd say go with the white head covering.  It's vastly more cheery, unless you have black hair and can't really see the lace.

[Slappo]

I agree with nihil, but we're both guys. I would have zero qualms wearing a black suit to a wedding, so a black skirt with a colorful top seems totally fine to me.

[truthfinder]

I'd say this also totally has to do the with personality of the couple and how they've decided to celebrate their wedding (that is, this is not a black tie wedding by the sounds of it, it's also EF).  Especially with the couple EF weddings I've been too, it was more important to be clean, neat, and modest (although interpretation varies) than whether you're wearing the right colour scheme. As to veils, do what you want - I've seen all sorts of colours on women.  

[Nihil Obstat]

I agree with nihil, but we're both guys. I would have zero qualms wearing a black suit to a wedding.

[He is Risen!]

I'm a traddie myself and finding something modest and not dumpy is a feat in itself!  I think black is just fine because tends to look more formal, especially if it is in the evening.  Just try to get the blacks to either match or be completely different, if your sweater totally covers up the shirt, it doesn't really matter though.  The most important thing of course to wear is a clean heart and a smile, I wouldn't stress to much over this. Have fun!

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thanks for the replies! I've been to a wedding before with the same group of friends though it was warmer... Most girls wore bright silk dresses. One wore a black dress though.

I don't have too much to choose from... I mean it was either the black maxi skirt or a very summery beige chiffon maxi skirt, but the beige one doesn't match the top. My other nice tops are not light colours either.

 I hope it won't be too dark... The wedding is during the day and the reception goes into the evening. I don't have something else for the wedding, like two different outfits. Hmm... I'll try to choose a cardigan that would sort of lighten up all the black that seems to be the only option? The shirt is pretty formal though and the skirt has a nice fabric, so it won't look super casual but perhaps simpler than the silk dresses - I'm ok with that. It would be very modest too which would be appropriate at the Mass and would hopefully look just right at a Latin Mass. I had an option to buy another outfit but I'd rather spend the money on a nicer gift? That's probably more important I want to get them something Catholic for their future home.

 

I'm thinking about what you all said! I just hope it won't be too dark

Edited October 8, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower