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cloistered orders question


MarysLittleFlower

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MarysLittleFlower

Maybe this has been asked or I even asked but I can't remember... I know this probably varies with community but I'm just wondering generally. If a community is very cloistered what happens if a family member is dying or there's a funeral? What if you're the only family that person has? Thanks 

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10 minutes ago, John Paul said:

Arent the Carmelites or Trappist allowed to leave the cloister for things like that.

A Carmel I was in correspondence with responded with the answer that it is better for the nun to stay in the cloister and pray there than go out and attend the funeral. 

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As a Poor Clare, we were not allowed to attend the funerals of family members.  But once, a parent of a sister died and had to be brought past the monastery for burial in another state.  The Abbess tried to get the funeral home to stop at the monastery so that the sister could view her mother......but the funeral home said "no."

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MarysLittleFlower

What happens if the Sister is an only child and there is literally no one else of family? Would that be an exception or would it be impossible? (In which case i guess the woman would have to seek a different order and wouldn't be taken there)

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DominicanHeart

I'm an only child. This was a concern of mine when I was discerning. I think they will make exceptions in these circumstances 

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MarysLittleFlower

I know it depends on the community... I'm not looking for a sure answer about what the community would say. I'm just looking for any info on any cloistered monasteries and maybe how they dealt with that if its happened..

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Sister Leticia

MLF - maybe it's best for an only child who is very anxious about being able to visit dying parents or attend their funerals to avoid visiting or beginning a potential discernment relationship with those monasteries which would not allow this. There are a lot of monasteries which do allow members to return home for compassionate reasons.

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MarysLittleFlower
13 minutes ago, Sister Leticia said:

MLF - maybe it's best for an only child who is very anxious about being able to visit dying parents or attend their funerals to avoid visiting or beginning a potential discernment relationship with those monasteries which would not allow this. There are a lot of monasteries which do allow members to return home for compassionate reasons.

I realize this... I just feel drawn to contemplative orders. I have discerned with two active communities, and they are good but I just don't feel a call there..I'm trying to be open that it could be a more active order and i'd go where God calls me, but the charism I've had an attraction to all this time has been more contemplative. All I can do I guess is visit one such order and talk about this issue with the Mother Superior but I was just wondering meanwhile if anyone might know of what at least certain communities have done. 

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Sister Leticia

A monastery can have enclosure AND allow its members to go home for compassionate reasons. We have quite a few monasteries like this in the UK, and I imagine there are many in the US/Canada. So you don't have to only look at apostolic communities - though if you haven't already, you could also look at apostolic-contemplative or semi-cloistered communities.

But in the end, as you've said, you need to go where God calls you - and that might end up being a complete surprise!

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MarysLittleFlower

I guess I'll ask them when I visit :) the community I started writing to are very traditional - that is what I'm drawn to, but I don't know whether they'd allow this because they are so strictly cloistered. I know there are also contemplative non cloistered communities... Are Benedictines of Mary Queen of Apostles like this?? Anyone know? Except that the age limit is 30. I see there are Benedictines that are contemplative mostly but not cloistered - another example are maybe the Benedictines of the Divine Will because they seem to go places. So here's a question... Does anyone know of any communities that are not cloistered and also happen to have the TLM? I think maybe my situation would be less of a difficulty with this than very cloistered orders of this type. Just if anyone is wondering I am looking at TLM communities because that is my spirituality. I know it seems like I'm being very specific but after looking into more active communities I just feel more of a pull in this direction, so I thought I might as well examine it thoroughly. 

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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DominicanHeart
3 minutes ago, MarysLittleFlower said:

I guess I'll ask them when I visit :) the community I started writing to are very traditional - that is what I'm drawn to, but I don't know whether they'd allow this because they are so strictly cloistered. I know there are also contemplative non cloistered communities... Are Benedictines of Mary Queen of Apostles like this?? Anyone know? Except that the age limit is 30. I see there are Benedictines that are contemplative mostly but not cloistered - another example are the Benedictines of the Divine Will. So here's a question... Does anyone know of any contemplative communities that are not cloistered and also happen to have the TLM? I think maybe my situation would be less of a difficulty with this than very traditional cloistered orders. Just if anyone is wondering I am looking at TLM communities because that is my spirituality. I know it seems like I'm being very specific but after looking into more active communities I just feel more of a pull in this direction, so I thought I might as well examine it thoroughly. 

Unfortunately there aren't that many. The only one I can think of that's in the US is the Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. The Institute of Christ the Sovereign King is another one but that's based in France.

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MarysLittleFlower

True... And probably nothing in Canada right now. Maybe in the future... That's hoping for a miracle! 

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As St Therese says "all is grace" and if you strive to do God's will then He will certainly give you the graces needed.  Either path is certainly difficult, very difficult just keep following God because He knows whats best for you and what you can handle.  Love and cherish and enjoy your parents now though.

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