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Marriage Vocation


Not A Real Name

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EmmaElizabeth

Originally, I figured God was calling me to the religious life.  I went on a discernment retreat in 2012, but was told it was not for me.  I was devastated!  I was selfish and thought that if I waited a few years and was older (I was 17 at the time and now 20) that I could discern with the community again or a different community.  Just to reaffirm how amesome God is, after waiting two years and getting an associates degree during that time, I was introduced to a Polish Catholic young man.  We are talking about marriage!!!  I will always admire religious life, but I now know God is calling me to be a wife and mother.  When I was visiting the Sisters,  I was so nervous and never felt peaceful.  The vocation director assured me that when I found what I was called to I would feel like I am home.  Whenever I am spending time with my boyfriend and talking with him, I feel at home and so at peace.  God is good!!

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There are things that ten years in a sacramental marriage have taught me. Anything can be worked through. There are other things besides children that can show the fruits of a relationship. Children are primary but there are hundreds of opportunities for unexpected secondary fruits. I think the biggest for me was not having to make every decision in life alone. I had been that independent woman type for so long that I had no idea of how comforting a strong shoulder could be. 

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Spem in alium

I always thought I was called to marriage. I loved (and still do) the idea of giving yourself completely to someone else. I thought (and still think) that if it were what I was doing in life, I would be a good wife and a good mother. I sense in myself these instincts. 

When I first started feeling attracted to consecrated life, I was admittedly scared because A) it was so unexpected, B) I knew NOTHING at all about nuns (had probably met less than five in all my life), and C) it felt like everything I thought I would do was being turned on its head. At the time, I really liked a guy too, so that just added extra difficulty into the mix. I remembered reading somewhere that it's good to test your vocation if you feel you have a natural call somewhere else (so, for example, if you feel called to consecrated life but have always had a natural inclination towards marriage, discern religious life first and see if the inclination remains). I tried that, and well... :love:

Essentially, while I had and still do have a natural maternal drive, overriding that are my desires to live as a consecrated woman. 

I honestly think being married and having children is in many ways much more difficult than living in a religious community. Living in community and with people who aren't related to you does have its difficulties, sure, but there are many things consecrated men and women don't have to experience. This is one thing that drew me to a congregation that works with families, which are the foundation of life. :) 

Edited by Spem in alium
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