Spiritual motherhood

[Quasar]

Is spiritual motherhood something that only exists in nuns?  If no, then what do you think it would look like in a woman called to marriage or a single woman?

[Nihil Obstat]

I think for those married women who find themselves for whatever reason without children, spiritual motherhood is one way in which God lets His grace flow through them.

[truthfinder]

Don't have the document right now, but I believe that JPII has written that all women are called to spiritual motherhood - although nuns would be able to dedicate themselves to it more fully.

[Guest]

 

Dignity and Vocation of Women (1988) HERE

Letter of JPII to Women (1995): HERE

 

LETTER OF HIS HOLINESS JOHN PAUL II
TO MRS. GERTRUDE MONGELLA
SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE FOURTH WORLD CONFERENCE
ON WOMEN OF THE UNITED NATIONS*  here

Edited September 27, 2016 by BarbaraTherese

[Amppax]

I recently heard of a sodality meant to promote and foster this: http://www.spiritualmaternity.org/. They've have good information about it, and it looks as if it certainly isn't aimed mainly at religious. 

Edited September 27, 2016 by Amppax

[Maggyie]

Not to be negative but as one of the women the concept of "spiritual motherhood" was frequently foisted on, I don't really get it/buy it. There's nothing specifically feminine, and no distinguishing characteristics, period, about what they call spiritual motherhood. There is usually a suggestion to pray for souls, for priests (sometimes specific priests you "adopt"), pray the Rosary, assist at Holy Mass etc. Small children of either sex should be taught to do these things as part of their ordinary Christian life. There's an emphasis on finding some children to nurture, whether children in a classroom, kids who need catechesis, sick or hungry families etc. But again nothing that a man wouldn't be exhorted to do in response to the call to holiness. I realize there's some deep thought out theology behind it, but on a practical level it's singularly unconvincing. 

[tinytherese]

It's too bad that the concept wasn't written extensively and specifically about by St. John Paul. The term is ambiguous.

[WhiteLily]

All women are called to be mothers according to their state in life. That said, as long as you fulfil your daily duty according to your state in life, devote more time to prayer to pray for priests, religious, and for souls in danger of losing their faith, etc. 

Some women, do recieve a vocation within a vocation from God with a special mission for them. This has to be discerned with your spouse (if married) and/or your confessor/SD who is learned and who knows you. 

Check out this document:

http://www.clerus.org/clerus/dati/2008-01/25-13/Adoration.pdf

It's about Spiritual Maternity. I read this several years ago and it really opened my eyes that this beautiful vocation exists within the laity, not just religious. Since I do not have any living children, I do have spiritual children whom I pray for that God has asked me to pray for (when it is appropriate). 

 

[Gabriela]

On 9/27/2016 at 4:49 PM, Maggyie said:

Not to be negative but as one of the women the concept of "spiritual motherhood" was frequently foisted on, I don't really get it/buy it. There's nothing specifically feminine, and no distinguishing characteristics, period, about what they call spiritual motherhood. There is usually a suggestion to pray for souls, for priests (sometimes specific priests you "adopt"), pray the Rosary, assist at Holy Mass etc. Small children of either sex should be taught to do these things as part of their ordinary Christian life. There's an emphasis on finding some children to nurture, whether children in a classroom, kids who need catechesis, sick or hungry families etc. But again nothing that a man wouldn't be exhorted to do in response to the call to holiness. I realize there's some deep thought out theology behind it, but on a practical level it's singularly unconvincing. 

I totally see where you're coming from, but I can see how "spiritual motherhood" AND "spiritual fatherhood" is something all or at least most Christians are probably called to—once they reach a certain point in life. Let me explain how I envision spiritual parenthood and then see if you can agree with that.

My saintly godmother was my substitute RCIA class. I had classes for school the night they had RCIA at the parish, so instead I met for a year+ with my sponsor. She would prepare "lessons" according to questions I had, where I was at generally in my moral life, etc. More importantly, saint that she is, she served as an outstanding example of Christian love and charity to me. I'd never had such a good example of that. In that way, she is still a spiritual mother to me, because she's still an example to me, and in many ways she's shaped my character (although, God help me, not as much as I'd have liked!). Also, she still occasionally sends me cookies in the mail, because, you know, grad students... need cookies? 

Anyway, she's a mother of 4 grown boys, and I'm 36 years old. I was 32 or 33 when we first started meeting. But because I was way less developed in the Faith than her, she was able to "mother" me in that sense.

I would also consider a Protestant friend I have a kind of spiritual father. Again, because he's been an outstanding example of faith and joy and trust in God, I've often talked to him or just imagined how he would see and respond to a situation whenever I'm struggling with something. He's exactly the same age as me, but he's been a Christian for much longer, and he's way better at it, so he's in a position to "father" me in a spiritual sense.

To me, then, spiritual parenthood isn't really sex-bound or in any way determined by femininity or masculinity. It's more just a basic mentor–mentee relationship in faith, trust, love, charity, etc.

Does that make sense?

[Maggyie]

2 hours ago, Gabriela said:

I totally see where you're coming from, but I can see how "spiritual motherhood" AND "spiritual fatherhood" is something all or at least most Christians are probably called to—once they reach a certain point in life. Let me explain how I envision spiritual parenthood and then see if you can agree with that.

My saintly godmother was my substitute RCIA class. I had classes for school the night they had RCIA at the parish, so instead I met for a year+ with my sponsor. She would prepare "lessons" according to questions I had, where I was at generally in my moral life, etc. More importantly, saint that she is, she served as an outstanding example of Christian love and charity to me. I'd never had such a good example of that. In that way, she is still a spiritual mother to me, because she's still an example to me, and in many ways she's shaped my character (although, God help me, not as much as I'd have liked!). Also, she still occasionally sends me cookies in the mail, because, you know, grad students... need cookies? 

Anyway, she's a mother of 4 grown boys, and I'm 36 years old. I was 32 or 33 when we first started meeting. But because I was way less developed in the Faith than her, she was able to "mother" me in that sense.

I would also consider a Protestant friend I have a kind of spiritual father. Again, because he's been an outstanding example of faith and joy and trust in God, I've often talked to him or just imagined how he would see and respond to a situation whenever I'm struggling with something. He's exactly the same age as me, but he's been a Christian for much longer, and he's way better at it, so he's in a position to "father" me in a spiritual sense.

To me, then, spiritual parenthood isn't really sex-bound or in any way determined by femininity or masculinity. It's more just a basic mentor–mentee relationship in faith, trust, love, charity, etc.

Does that make sense?

that makes some sense, but for the church our spiritual relationships are inseparable from gender and sex. hence consecrated virginity is feminine, the priesthood is masculine. It doesn't make sense for this "parenthood" thing to be neuter; the biological parenthood it imitates certainly isn't. Men and women, as men and women, will have a gendered response to the universal call to holiness. 

[Maggyie]

6 hours ago, WhiteLily said:

All women are called to be mothers according to their state in life. That said, as long as you fulfil your daily duty according to your state in life, devote more time to prayer to pray for priests, religious, and for souls in danger of losing their faith, etc. 

Some women, do recieve a vocation within a vocation from God with a special mission for them. This has to be discerned with your spouse (if married) and/or your confessor/SD who is learned and who knows you. 

Check out this document:

http://www.clerus.org/clerus/dati/2008-01/25-13/Adoration.pdf

It's about Spiritual Maternity. I read this several years ago and it really opened my eyes that this beautiful vocation exists within the laity, not just religious. Since I do not have any living children, I do have spiritual children whom I pray for that God has asked me to pray for (when it is appropriate). 

 

The Clerus document is certainly beautiful, but it's still not clear to me how these women were being "maternal" specifically as compared to a man doing the same things. They prayed for vocations, suffered for priests to the point of being victim souls. But men can and should be called to do the same things. Women seem to function, from a feminine standpoint, as a bride (the beloved) or celibate/virgin (the pure and unstained) or mother (nurturing new life). Of course, men can also be virgins or celibates, beloved, and nurturing, but it's not their "thing." that's a really awkward way of putting it. But it doesn't emanate from their sex. In the same way women can be priestly and kingly but priesthood and kingship as signs really correspond to men, as part of the nature of being a man.

Spiritual maternity as a concept is missing this aspect. What makes it maternal? would we describe a man doing the same things as maternal?

Edited October 27, 2016 by Maggyie

[Gabriela]

9 hours ago, Maggyie said:

that makes some sense, but for the church our spiritual relationships are inseparable from gender and sex. hence consecrated virginity is feminine, the priesthood is masculine. It doesn't make sense for this "parenthood" thing to be neuter; the biological parenthood it imitates certainly isn't. Men and women, as men and women, will have a gendered response to the universal call to holiness. 

I mean either a man or woman can do it. In your first post I thought I understood you to be saying that we only talk about spiritual motherhood and not spiritual fatherhood and you think that's whack for some reason. I used two examples of people who have been spiritual "parents" to me—one female and one male—to point out it can go either way.

My "spiritual father" doesn't send me cookies. So if that's a "gendered response" to spiritual motherhood, okay. Personally I don't really think it matters. What matters is that we have mentoring relationships with better Christians than we are, to help us grow. Although I guess I can see that some people with particular histories or unique needs at the present time may have more of a need for a spiritual father or mother at any given point in their lives.

If that makes sense.

All that being said, I see much less distinction between the genders in Christians than I do in the world. Christian men, having been called to be gentle and kind and meek and humble, seem a lot more like Christian women to me than pagan men seem like pagan women. So honestly I wouldn't know what to look for in a "gendered response" to spiritual relationships. Aside from sending cookies, I really can't say there's been much difference in how my spiritual mother and father have behaved towards me. Love is love. Kindness is kindness.

What makes a Christian man a man and a Christian woman a woman? I honestly don't know. And I don't recall ever hearing a credible explanation or seeing a good example.

[Maggyie]

it's like how only women can be consecrated virgins - because as women, the full sign value of virginity and receptivity is embodied in them. I'm obviously using the wrong words. But it's an intrinsically feminine call. 

If spiritual maternity is supposed to be intrinsically feminine (which by all accounts it is meant to be) what about it is intrinsically feminine? With consecrated virginity it's the bridal role. With biological maternity it's clearly gestating new life. These things make those calls feminine. I just don't see that with spiritual maternity. Sorry if I just seem to be repeating myself, I'm struggling to find the right words to describe my thoughts. 

[Gabriela]

1 hour ago, Maggyie said:

it's like how only women can be consecrated virgins - because as women, the full sign value of virginity and receptivity is embodied in them. I'm obviously using the wrong words. But it's an intrinsically feminine call. 

If spiritual maternity is supposed to be intrinsically feminine (which by all accounts it is meant to be) what about it is intrinsically feminine? With consecrated virginity it's the bridal role. With biological maternity it's clearly gestating new life. These things make those calls feminine. I just don't see that with spiritual maternity. Sorry if I just seem to be repeating myself, I'm struggling to find the right words to describe my thoughts. 

Frankly, I don't see it with consecrated virginity either. I mean, what's "intrinsically feminine" about virginity? Men can be virgins, too. And we all need to be receptive to the Holy Spirit. So... what's really the difference in the end?

If it helps at all: I can definitely see how my spiritual mother (my godmother) "gestated new (spiritual) life" in me by her mentorship and example. But I'd say the same thing of my spiritual father. In fact, I could say that of a lot of people, just to differing degrees.

[Maggyie]

2 hours ago, Gabriela said:

Frankly, I don't see it with consecrated virginity either. I mean, what's "intrinsically feminine" about virginity? Men can be virgins, too. And we all need to be receptive to the Holy Spirit. So... what's really the difference in the end?

If it helps at all: I can definitely see how my spiritual mother (my godmother) "gestated new (spiritual) life" in me by her mentorship and example. But I'd say the same thing of my spiritual father. In fact, I could say that of a lot of people, just to differing degrees.

not to be explicit but look at the human body... women are designed to be receptive, physically, and their virginity has to do (in part) with the absence of another being taken into themselves.