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Matrimony when the spouses-to-be don’t really have a parish


Julie

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Let’s say two people are getting married. They’re supposed to get married at one of thier home parishes (typically the bride’s) right? Lots of oratories and such will ask for a letter from the bride’s parish priest, giving permission for the wedding to be somewhere other than that parish. What happens when the couple doesn’t HAVE a parish priest? (As, for example, when they’ve been going to Mass at university chapels in several different states for the past 4 or 5 or 9 years, and their parents are no longer members of the couple’s childhood parishes.) 

Whose permission would you need? Could you choose any of the three or four dioceses that have some sort of claim on you to marry in? 

I suspect this is a problem for a lot of people, with geographic mobility being what it is.

 

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You’re right, this can be an issue. We married thousands of miles away from my home parish. 

Decide where you want to get married. Contact the parish priest there for an appointment. Explain that you’ve been migratory and expect some hoops to jump through. In our case the priest knew my husband but not me, so he grilled me pretty hard. 

There might be a longer waiting period or request for extra pre-marriage counselling. A priest is required to do due diligence, so be patient. Always spend more time and money preparing for the marriage than you do for the wedding. 

Lastly, congratulations. A truly sacramental marriage is incredible. 

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CatherineM has a lot of good advice.  A couple other things to note: even if you've been pretty migratory, you do have a parish canonically speaking.  It's usually based on where you're living, even if it's not where you have been attending. Also, for things like university chapels, some bishops have designated them as  'special parishes' meaning that if one attends or is part of the group it is catering too (just like ethnic parishes), you do actually belong to that parish. So check with the chaplain of the university church you were attending or with the diocese it was in, and they should be able to provide you with more information.

All the best!

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