Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary

[FindingTheWay]

Hello!

   I am discerning a religious vocation after discovering the Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in Still River, MA.  I am aware that they have a complicated history, but have been raised to a public association of the faithful by their bishop and seem to be in communion with the Vatican.  Does anyone have any experience with the sisters?  The main pull of the order is their activity and school. I couldn't see myself as a contemplative & love the traditional Latin mass. 

Thank you!

Edited May 21, 2018 by FindingTheWay
Typos

[JHFamily]

We know one of the young sisters with this community.  I get the impression their troubles are over, and it seems that their slow but steady growth seem to support this impression.

My nieces have extensive experience with the sisters.  They grew up attending their camps, volunteering as teenagers and visiting them as aspirants as young ladies.  They love the Slaves and claim if they enter religious life, that is where they are going.   They are very active (be ready for hard work!), very lively, but do not shirk their religious duties.

[DameAgnes]

I had to talk to one of the younger sisters on the phone not too long ago and yes, very lively. They seem to always be busy. I don't know if they follow a Benedictine rule but they do seem to keep up with the "use every spare minute" philosophy. One reason I could never be a nun. I need the option to say "well, today I plan to stay on the couch with a book and a beverage." 

[FindingTheWay]

3 hours ago, JHFamily said:

We know one of the young sisters with this community.  I get the impression their troubles are over, and it seems that their slow but steady growth seem to support this impression.

My nieces have extensive experience with the sisters.  They grew up attending their camps, volunteering as teenagers and visiting them as aspirants as young ladies.  They love the Slaves and claim if they enter religious life, that is where they are going.   They are very active (be ready for hard work!), very lively, but do not shirk their religious duties.

Thank you, yes, they always seem busy... which is why I am attracted to their order. I didn't think I had a vocation before meeting them, so I'm wondering if I really have a vocation or it's just a "crush" on accidentally finding an order that I could join. 

[JHFamily]

My impression from my nieces is that they will really walk you through the discernment process.  Unlike some of the other teaching orders that are very big and will accept pretty much anyone who shows any inclination, they instead focus on the individual.  If you contact them, they will truly help you on your journey.

 

[Nunsuch]

2 hours ago, JHFamily said:

My impression from my nieces is that they will really walk you through the discernment process.  Unlike some of the other teaching orders that are very big and will accept pretty much anyone who shows any inclination, they instead focus on the individual.  If you contact them, they will truly help you on your journey.

 

What orders take "pretty much anybody"? Most of the communities I know, including those focused on education, have very rigorous discernment processes. 

[Sister Leticia]

15 hours ago, JHFamily said:

Unlike some of the other teaching orders that are very big and will accept pretty much anyone who shows any inclination, they instead focus on the individual.

I'm also wondering what you mean by this. Have you/people you know had extensive experience of several "big teaching orders accepting pretty much anyone"? - and by that do you mean accepting people who are too immature, have health issues, clearly don't have a religious vocation... or what?

Usually, the complaint on this forum is that orders are too prescriptive, and too rigorous in their discernment processes, and won't accept just "anyone"!

I would add that, here in the UK, the only congregation I've seen appearing to accept candidates without real, focused discernment is a small one - not big at all. But note - I used the words "appearing to" rather than saying this is what they do, because I don't know exactly what happens between them and their candidates. They might feel they have done a thorough discernment - I'm only going by the fact that most of the women who have joined them left within a short time. 

[Feankie]

Well,  here we go again !  I would really caution anyone who has not had first-hand, personal experience with a particular order or in RL to refrain from commenting on questions such as the ones that were asked.  We really have NO idea, and hearsay, second hand conversations  usually do more harm than good and breed confusion, gossip, and untruths.  This is not fair to the particular Order or even to the potential discerner  I   would suggest if you want to know something specific about a particular order, just pick up the phone, email or snail mail them.  

[Lou]

Umm, I don't condone the comment about big teaching orders taking anyone, however, I have discerned with teaching and apostolic orders before realising my call was to monastic life. Anyway- my point, I found that one teaching order were very keen.. not tooting my own horn or anything, but they weren't necessarily focused on finding out if it was right for me, they more saw someone orientated towards religious life, serious about discerning, educated and healthy. Again- not saying I'm a "perfect candidate"- there is no such thing,  but just there aren't any immediate so-called 'stumbling blocks'. 

So sure, they were serious about their discernment with me, as I was with them, but they omitted to question me and really ask me where I felt God calling me. They saw me there, encouraged me and sort of skimmed along on the deepest desires element. 

I don't think it's fair to say that they would 'take anyone'. That's not true, but I have found, twice now, that some orders are truly focused on personal accompaniment, seeking the right place for you and talking to you about the aspects of religious life that you feel Most called to... as opposed to just generalising the call and encouraging you to proceed.

sorry I can't explain this better. It's just really about that personalised accompaniment and truest and deepest desires for all the elements of religious life, as opposed to just the bigger over arching call. That's a very important first realisation, but then you have to start thinking about where / what / why... so perhaps that's what JHFamily meant in saying that the Slaves of the IHM will walk through discernment with you... realising that you have a call, but also realising that it might not be to them, but maybe a different type of religious life- & encouraging you to pursue that path.

Edited May 22, 2018 by Lou
Wrongly named the relevant Order

[FindingTheWay]

I have been in contact with the sisters, just wanting to know others experience too. Thank you everyone! 

[Sister Leticia]

11 hours ago, Lou said:

Umm, I don't condone the comment about big teaching orders taking anyone, however, I have discerned with teaching and apostolic orders before realising my call was to monastic life. Anyway- my point, I found that one teaching order were very keen.. not tooting my own horn or anything, but they weren't necessarily focused on finding out if it was right for me, they more saw someone orientated towards religious life, serious about discerning, educated and healthy. Again- not saying I'm a "perfect candidate"- there is no such thing,  but just there aren't any immediate so-called 'stumbling blocks'. 

So sure, they were serious about their discernment with me, as I was with them, but they omitted to question me and really ask me where I felt God calling me. They saw me there, encouraged me and sort of skimmed along on the deepest desires element. 

I don't think it's fair to say that they would 'take anyone'. That's not true, but I have found, twice now, that some orders are truly focused on personal accompaniment, seeking the right place for you and talking to you about the aspects of religious life that you feel Most called to... as opposed to just generalising the call and encouraging you to proceed.

sorry I can't explain this better. It's just really about that personalised accompaniment and truest and deepest desires for all the elements of religious life, as opposed to just the bigger over arching call. That's a very important first realisation, but then you have to start thinking about where / what / why... so perhaps that's what JHFamily meant in saying that the Slaves of the IHM will walk through discernment with you... realising that you have a call, but also realising that it might not be to them, but maybe a different type of religious life- & encouraging you to pursue that path.

Thank you Lou. I think how you described your experience is how I perceive the small congregation I referred to earlier. And in fact, 3 or 4 of the women who have left them have since entered other, very different congregations. 

My own congregation, btw, is large (not so big in England, but it's international), and was founded for education - so what you might call a "big teaching order". And we have had some really lovely women come to our Come & See weekends, visit our communities, meet regularly with our VD... and have then been helped to find their home in another community. 

(And other congregations have similarly suggested us to women who contact them!)

So I would stress that this isn't about being "big" or "teaching" or anything... it's about congregations having - or not having - vocations personnel who are skilled in discernment, and truly free and in tune with wherever and however God might be calling. 

[beatitude]

I also think it's worth noting that there are different but equally valuable approaches to discernment out there. Some communities might well say, "OK, you're attracted to religious life, you are healthy enough for our particular way of living, our apostolate might suit you - why not give it a shot?" They aren't signing you up for final vows as soon as you walk through the door, they're inviting you to be a postulant. I think we sometimes forget that postulancy is itself a time for discernment, and we get too focused on finding exactly the right community before we even dip our little toe in. Providing good formation and accompaniment is offered to postulants, and they aren't neglected in any way, there's no reason why you shouldn't do things this way if that's what works for you. It's better than dithering around for a decade and eventually never entering anywhere.

[Lou]

6 minutes ago, beatitude said:

think we sometimes forget that postulancy is itself a time for discernment, and we get too focused on finding exactly the right community

I absolutely agree that is great if communities invite you to enter because you show an inclination towards their apostolate and a joy for religious life. But still, it is better to find the community that you're most orientated towards in God's call before entering! Especially if it's early on in the discernment journey. So I agree, and it's great to be encouraged, but it's also great to have, as Sr Laetitia said, personal vocation discernment when someone can say "hey look, you could be a great Dominican but I actually think I see a Carmelite in front of me" for example  that's sort of where I was headed with my extremely long-winded exegesis!! 

Also I'm always very grateful to you for reminding everyone here that postulancy is a step on the road of discernment and not final vows! To ask, to see, to sit and hear where the Lord calls. 

 

[Bonkira]

I live close to these sisters and have visited for Mass etc. They seem like lovely people, but their order and their brother order (and surrounding community) are not very diverse and, as a person of color, their name is off-putting as is their general lack of insight as to why it may be off-putting.

[JHFamily]

19 hours ago, Lou said:

Umm, I don't condone the comment about big teaching orders taking anyone, however, I have discerned with teaching and apostolic orders before realising my call was to monastic life. Anyway- my point, I found that one teaching order were very keen.. not tooting my own horn or anything, but they weren't necessarily focused on finding out if it was right for me, they more saw someone orientated towards religious life, serious about discerning, educated and healthy. Again- not saying I'm a "perfect candidate"- there is no such thing,  but just there aren't any immediate so-called 'stumbling blocks'. 

So sure, they were serious about their discernment with me, as I was with them, but they omitted to question me and really ask me where I felt God calling me. They saw me there, encouraged me and sort of skimmed along on the deepest desires element. 

 I don't think it's fair to say that they would 'take anyone'. That's not true, but I have found, twice now, that some orders are truly focused on personal accompaniment, seeking the right place for you and talking to you about the aspects of religious life that you feel Most called to... as opposed to just generalising the call and encouraging you to proceed.

sorry I can't explain this better. It's just really about that personalised accompaniment and truest and deepest desires for all the elements of religious life, as opposed to just the bigger over arching call. That's a very important first realisation, but then you have to start thinking about where / what / why... so perhaps that's what JHFamily meant in saying that the Slaves of the IHM will walk through discernment with you... realising that you have a call, but also realising that it might not be to them, but maybe a different type of religious life- & encouraging you to pursue that path.

I tried my vocation in both a teaching order and a cloistered order.  Lou's experience with the teaching order was mine as well, "Generalizing the call and encouraging you to proceed."  The application process was fairly normal -- transcripts, letters, physicals, etc., but it was accompanied by little discernment on either of our parts as to whether I was a "fit" for them.   One short meeting (15-20 minues) with the vocation director, and I had an application in my hand.