Update on Life

[OnlySunshine]

Hi everyone!  I haven't been here since May but things are getting better for me and I'm doing pretty well right now.  This last week, I started the first quarter of my new studies towards an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Walden University after spending 1 quarter in the Master of Social Work program.  The MSW program was too generalized for what I want to do - which is becoming an addictions counselor who specializes in alcohol and substance abuse.  I kind of got talked into in by my social worker friend who told me the field is very versatile but I know that Mental Health Counseling is the field for me since I've always been interested in psychology.  The past week has confirmed that I made the right move and I'm much more confident in myself and my studies since I'm not doing it to please anyone but myself.  The program will take 2 years to complete and then I have to complete about 2,000 hours of a registered internship before I can be licensed as an independent practitioner.  I am very excited as there are 2 residencies (4 days a piece), 2 clinical practicums, and the internship.  I do miss the in-person interaction on a regular basis and almost thought about transferring to a private school nearby but they only accept applications for the Fall semester (cohort model) and the deadline was pass due.  I inquired about a late admission but they do not accept them.  However, moving from social work to the CMHC program was a perfect compromise.

As for my health, I started with a new therapist and am being treated for Borderline Personality Disorder as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  I'm on medication but BPD cannot be treated with medication - there is no medication approved so they have to treat the symptoms - and remission can only be achieved with therapy.  About the 4th therapy session, I started having thoughts of self-harm and realized that I felt really jittery and on edge.  I traced it back to the antidepressant I'm on and thought that I needed to lower the dose so I cut it in half for 3 days and, almost instantly, felt more calm.  I remembered that, while on the lower dose, I felt more relaxed than I did on the higher dose.  I let my psychiatrist know and she approved the change.  I'm still on a mood stabilizer and we may add another antidepressant to the mix to control my obsessive/ruminating thoughts that are caused by BPD and anxiety.  Every since getting a diagnosis of BPD a few months ago, everything added up that I experienced in my teen and young adult years and I know exactly what I have to do to get better.  I like my therapist but I may try out another one who is a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) specialist, which is the best therapy to treat BPD.  I don't want to end with my current counselor until I meet with the other one in case we don't do well together, but this current counselor is not well-versed with DBT and, instead, incorporates mindfulness techniques and emotional regulation (which are good but do not treat all of the BPD symptoms).  Please say some prayers that I find a good therapist to continue with.

Also, please say some prayers about my left foot and ankle.  I injured them 2-3 weeks ago sitting next to the coffee table and accidentally hitting my inner ankle and foot on the table.  It was swollen for a few days and still hurts when I walk on it.  I went to an urgent care a few days ago and had it x-rayed but they couldn't see a fracture.  However, when I was a kid, my dad cracked his foot getting up from a seated position and didn't get treated for it until several weeks after because he had a stress fracture that gradually formed.  I think I have an occult fracture which is best viewed with an MRI.  I'm trying to find an orthopedic doctor who specializes in ankle and foot care but I may have to wait to be seen (hopefully, not if I tell them I think it's cracked).