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Returning to the Catholic Faith


KyleDeWolf1985

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KyleDeWolf1985

This year, I decided to return to the Catholic Church after a hiatus of several years.  When I was a teenager, I converted to the Catholic Church because I felt that I needed a stronger moral compass in life.  My peers seemed completely lost, and the fundamentalist religion of my relatives seemed completely off-kilter.  Yet I could relate to the simple preaching of the gospel and the wonderful simplicity and sublime elegance of the sacraments in the country parishes around my home.  It really spoke to me beyond words. 

I was baptized at age 11 and confirmed at age 18.  I loved RCIA so much that I went three years in a row, 16, 17, 18.  It was the first time that I could really sit down with adults as an equal and be respected for my intelligence. 

After I joined the military and became exposed to the corruption and violence of the world, it really shook my faith and caused me to drift away from the Catholic faith.  The simple platitudes of Catholicism no longer seemed relevant to the realities of the modern world.  I gave into temptation, sin, unbelief, and doubt.  However, I quickly found that I was lost without God.  I made terrible choices on my own.  I was in a lot of mental anguish. 

For a while, I tried to espouse the liberal, humanistic versions of Christianity as a substitute: Unitarianism, Quakerism, Episcopalianism, Congregationalism, etc.  However, I began to sense that Liberal Christianity is a hollow construct.  I gave up in disgust when a local Unitarian minister preached a sermon, saying, "I'm not here to tell you what to believe.  I'm here for you to tell me what you believe." 

Despite it's boasting an impressive record of social activism and volunteerism, I don't really need to be a member of a church to participate in community life or take a stand on political debates.  It's not enough of a reason to get up early on a Sunday and drive 40 minutes to church when you can barely afford to pay for gas.  I need answers.  I understand that some people feel that they can be virtuous on their own without God, but some of us need a little more help.  It is not the healthy who need a Doctor, but the sick (Matthew 9:12). 

I had an epiphany of late that even though many teachings of Catholicism may seem questionable to the human intellect, based on the standards and ideals of the times in which we live, and even though the purpose of many rituals and ceremonies may seem obscure, there might still be a deeper spiritual reason for it that you may not understand.  Even doing something that seems pointless, like abstaining from meat on a Friday, might have real spiritual value.  It's like practicing self-denial, and in today's world it means facing constant arguments and embarrassment over whether it makes any difference at all, so that we will be better prepared to overcome real sins and addictions in the face of peer pressure and sophistry.  It's disciplining yourself in the way of penance and perseverance. 

I also made my way back to Phatmass, which I thought was so cool when I was a young Catholic.  I'm glad to see that it's still here.  It's a great reminder that the Catholic Church will always be here until the end of time, and maybe for eternity if you include the communion of saints.  No matter how far you stray, you can always come back to God. 

Edited by KyleDeWolf1985
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1 hour ago, KyleDeWolf1985 said:

I had an epiphany of late that even though many teachings of Catholicism may seem questionable to the human intellect, based on the standards and ideals of the times in which we live, and even though the purpose of many rituals and ceremonies may seem obscure, there might still be a deeper spiritual reason for it that you may not understand.  Even doing something that seems pointless, like abstaining from meat on a Friday, might have real spiritual value.  It's like practicing self-denial, and in today's world it means facing constant arguments and embarrassment over whether it makes any difference at all, so that we will be better prepared to overcome real sins and addictions in the face of peer pressure and sophistry.  It's disciplining yourself in the way of penance and perseverance. 

I also made my way back to Phatmass, which I thought was so cool when I was a young Catholic.  I'm glad to see that it's still here.  It's a great reminder that the Catholic Church will always be here until the end of time, and maybe for eternity if you include the communion of saints.  No matter how far you stray, you can always come back to God. 

You nailed it.

Welcome back.........and blessings on your journey...............Regards - Barb :) 

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How beautiful! Have you thought of sharing some of your talent in Catholic Church or Catholic Lay ministry of your choice to be active in going deeper in God's calling?   Nothing to lose but gain more knowledge of God.  Each of us has a calling in God's Kingdom on our way to God the Father in heaven.  Thy will be done.

Many blessings from the Lord be with you.

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Welcome home and thank you for your service.

I was Agnostic for a while but knew if I came back to organized religion, it would be Catholic.  Wherever I was, I could always find a mass and always knew when to sit, kneel and stand, even when I didn't fully understand or only knew enough to get by of the language (German, Italian, Chinese, or French) where I lived or visited.

It's always good to be with fellow faithful in the journey.

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