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tinytherese

Why is the Phorum Mostly Dead?

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tinytherese
8 hours ago, cruciatacara said:

I know nunsense personally. She was basically kicked off the forum - dust told her the other posters had voted and they considered her to be a trouble maker. Naturally she felt unwelcome after that. You won't get her back here again. She's very happy in her life and doesn't need the validation of phatmass. I lurk here mainly, but the place really has gone downhill since I first joined. I think some people started taking things too seriously and wouldn't allow any dissenting opinions. Maybe that's not it, I don't know. But your comment was kind and I will pass it on to her if I see her.

Nunsense of all people got banned? She didn't troll, wasn't mean, and sincerely tried to live her faith. It sounds like some people on here need to stop being butthurt. 

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tinytherese
On November 29, 2018 at 8:41 PM, Lilllabettt said:

Ugh you would . JK :blowkiss:

I think Trump and PF are similar in some ways. Non traditional preparation for the job, elected to drain the swamp, tendency to throw bombs/say things that need walked back. 

There are big huuuge differences too of course.

But it's a destabilizing moment. What's the Catholic response to Trump? To PF? Faithful Catholics are in freak out mode I'm thinking.

Yes, those two are such controversial figures for Catholics to deal with. I've noticed that if you question, criticize, or express wanting clarification on anything they say or do, some Catholics get so defensive, accusing you of being a bad Catholic. In regards to Trump, if you don't support him, then you're a pro-choice Clinton supporter, which is against Catholic morality and you're letting millions of babies die. <_< It's not as simple as that. Talk about being damned if you do and damned if you don't. 

I remember when the election between Romney and Obama happened, that there were multiple threads on here where some people accused other posters of somehow supporting pro-choice Obama by voting third party because they had issues with both primary candidates. What?

 

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cruciatacara
9 hours ago, tinytherese said:

Nunsense of all people got banned? She didn't troll, wasn't mean, and sincerely tried to live her faith. It sounds like some people on here need to stop being butthurt. 

TT, From what I recall her telling me, she didn't get banned. She got a note from dust saying that a vote had been held and that she had been voted the worst of whatever the adjective was: 'troublemaker', 'disruptive', 'argumentative' - I don't remember the exact wording, but he didn't specifically ban her, just warned her I think. I just remember it was a weird poll that was run with everyone being asked to vote for those posters they felt were bad for phatmass. I thought it was a stupid poll because it was so negative, and I think a lot of people didn't vote because they didn't want to be judgmental of others, but there was a very strong negative clique around at the time who did vote for people just because they didn't like them. I don't think the final results were ever made public but dust probably contacted those with the highest negative votes individually, like he did with nunsense - he sent her a list of names and the number of negative votes each person had received, and she was at the top of the list.  I remember some of the other people on the list that she mentioned, and some of them aren't here anymore either. She told me that she just didn't feel welcome here after that, so she left. 

I do think the poll was a stupid mistake ('Let's vote for the people we  like least!') but we all make mistakes and hindsight is 20/20. It's all water under the bridge since it was so long ago - and besides, most of the people who voted nunsense 'off the island' aren't around these days anyway.  It's kind of ironic.

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Lilllabettt
4 minutes ago, cruciatacara said:

 I don't think the final results were ever made public but dust probably contacted those with the highest negative votes individually, like he did with nunsense - he sent her a list of names and the number of negative votes each person had received, and she was at the top of the list.  I remember some of the other people on the list that she mentioned, and some of them aren't here anymore either. She told me that she just didn't feel welcome here after that, so she left. 

 

I remember that poll. What a strange episode that was. Tell nunsense the nanny goats are gone and we miss her. Come back nunsense!!!

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cruciatacara
2 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

I remember that poll. What a strange episode that was. Tell nunsense the nanny goats are gone and we miss her. Come back nunsense!!!

I probably won't be in contact with her until the New Year, but will pass on your message next time I am. :)

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Ash Wednesday

A lot of phatmassers from the core group I know and remember got married and their families grew, so their available time shrunk. I know a couple of ladies personally that used to post on here and have no issues with phatmass and the phorum, but they're busy moms. 

I think social media changes things a lot, too. There's only 24 hours a day and more places for younger Catholics to spend their time that would normally have been flocking here. We didn't have instagram and twitter in the early 00s when Phatmass was more populated. That said I've dabbled a little bit on Catholic twitter but I found it pretty disappointing. Blocked or unfollowed for being "too traditional" because I was critical of heterodox Jesuits or blocked for pointing out that Democrats are just as bad with "cults of personality" as Trump supporters are. Or shunned by others for not being "trad enough" because I'm not a sedevacantist. Whatever, dudes. Not as friendly of a community there as phatmass has been when its at its best. For me, sometimes I get busy or just plain tired and just don't have time for Catholic internet. I spent a long time away around 2015-2016 because I was very sick but I'm doing OK now.

I always like seeing familiar faces come back. I think some of the drama and fights hurt but there's no need to let those things define a place. Ideally the best you can do is try to make the place a positive corner on the internet and let the rest take care of itself. 

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tinytherese
16 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

I remember that poll. What a strange episode that was. Tell nunsense the nanny goats are gone and we miss her. Come back nunsense!!!

I remember that poll too. The intentions behind it were probably good and I'm not calling those behind it and their responses bad people, but I thought it was inappropriate. 

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Lilllabettt
2 hours ago, tinytherese said:

I remember that poll too. The intentions behind it were probably good and I'm not calling those behind it and their responses bad people, but I thought it was inappropriate. 

I was like... uh oh. This is not going to end well... lol...

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lost_in_this_world

As someone who was slightly active for a hot second years ago and now recently started checking it out again, I think it has a lot to do with the way responses are perceived by the one who started the thread. Sometimes when someone has a question or comment that doesn’t fit the proper catholic mold, I think some of the responses can be a bit challenging to swallow. Not that they are wrong but it’s hard to interpret a persons inflection when reading a comment online. I also think that in general there are a lot of issues with the church right now so when someone is looking for guidance or answers and they get a firm response. It might be hard for them to move on. We must remember that we are all imperfect and sometimes that doesn’t come across. 

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Anomaly
12 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

I was like... uh oh. This is not going to end well... lol...

I remember  the poll.    I vaguely remember nunsense.   

She was one of the few people that were on my blocked list.  I don’t remember why in particular.   But if I blocked them, I’m sure some others felt they were challenging to deal with.   

Almost every person of the billions walking the earth right now have some good in them.  But that doesn’t mean all others will interpret them in a positive manner.  Some get highly offended or hurt by that. Regular human foibles.   

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Maximilianus

phatmass is like a pub you used to frequent daily, but now visit on occasion.

At one time it was vibrant and you looked forward to spending time there. Now when you go to the pub you don't recognize many or the place is empty.

Long time patrons that were staples of activity have long gone, or just come inside to down a shot of spirits, pass some pleasantries then disappear like a fog that has been dissipated by the dawning of the morning sun.

You have a vague recognition of some of the patrons. A few you have seen at the pub since your very first day there, but you really don't know them, so you don't even make any kind of contact, you just let them imbibe in peace. 

Every once in a while you run into an old acquaintance, but the relationship has devolved to where they are almost strangers again. You see other old acquaintances across the bar in a booth. They acknowledge you with a raise of their glass or a nod and quickly turn back to their already in progress conversation with another vaguely familiar patron.

Every once in a while there is a bar scuffle, sometimes between individuals, sometimes it's an affair with multiple patrons, but the pub owner quells the conflict.

You look around the dimly lit hall, at the empty seats, stools, booths, and sigh. You think of when they used to be filled, of the abundance of good natured revelry, exchange of ideas, exchange of experiences, the sometimes tense contentions and mutual reinforcement of ideals and beliefs.

So you sit at the bar, all alone, staring at your pint and looking at the myriad of faded and tired advertisements on the walls of various beverages while in the background someone attempts to play Gary Jules's version of 'Mad World' on an old piano.

You smile at the faint familiarity, turn back and finish your malty beverage, then leave the establishment.

As you walk home you pass other pubs, some you have been to before, some you don't care to enter. None of them look particularly inviting. So you enter a bookstore, head to the Catholic section that has a half a dozen books. You see the NAB, CCC, Catholicism for dummies, 2 books by popular heterodox authors and a misplaced copy of "Green Eggs and Ham".

Fin

 

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BG45

Mostly I think it's that people got married, had kids, got jobs, etc.  Life is busy.  I'm on 6 committees, teaching 4 classes a semester,  have 180 advisees, and just submitted the first draft of an invited book chapter.  For me it's that being busy mostly, and being at a point in life where I avoid drama due to an anxiety issue.   Personally, I don't buy the "all forums are gong downhill thanks to social media bit", I'm on one scifi forum that has more Mediators of Meh than Phatmass has active posters, because it's such a vibrant place and it still maintains a sense of community; likewise another board I sometimes frequent has about the same level of traffic as PM did back in the day.  

Unfortunately, part of it is also probably things like how nunsense was apparently asked to leave, or how some posters got soft-banned where their every post has to be approved by a Mediator of Meh or Dust (e.g. Crosscut).  There's also the part about how the poor witness of Phatmass cost a few former members their faith in Christ and His Church as well, though that's for them to share with whom they please.

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Josh
4 hours ago, BG45 said:

There's also the part about how the poor witness of Phatmass cost a few former members their faith in Christ and His Church as well, though that's for them to share with whom they please.

No offence but I find it lame a website or its poster's  would cause someone to lose their faith in Christ and His Church. Unless the website was a conspiracy site or something disproving Jesus and Catholicism. Although it wouldn't be Catholic then.

I literally got banned for a 1000 years by Catholic Answers with no warnings for arguing with a poster who was spewing out racism and saying probably only Catholics will get to Heaven. I wasn't cursing but being very blunt with this poster in an unfriendly tone. The fact some Mediator of Meh banned me a 1000 years for this without a warning doesn't make me lose my faith in Jesus or Catholicism. If it did I had no sincere faith to begin with.

I just accept the fact most of these Catholic media sites are filled with people like this. And when I say "like this" I don't intend to say it in a way to present myself as the victim and the better person. I just know I don't see eye to eye with a lot of these people who are previlant on forums and on the radio. I'm not about to let them rob me of my faith. I even still listen to them on the radio and read what they write and take away the good stuff that helps me.

I feel bad there are actual people who lost their faith because of Phatmass. But at the same time I can't help to also feel it's really lame. I'm lame in a lot of areas too so we're in the same boat. Whoever these people are will be included in my next Rosary and I pray their faith is restored.

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Anomaly

#1 Reason:    Because dUSt rarely posts and is minimally involved in the website.    That is the lack of leadership personality needed.  

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Lilllabettt
5 hours ago, Josh said:

No offence but I find it lame a website or its poster's  would cause someone to lose their faith in Christ and His Church. Unless the website was a conspiracy site or something disproving Jesus and Catholicism. Although it wouldn't be Catholic then.

I literally got banned for a 1000 years by Catholic Answers with no warnings for arguing with a poster who was spewing out racism and saying probably only Catholics will get to Heaven. I wasn't cursing but being very blunt with this poster in an unfriendly tone. The fact some Mediator of Meh banned me a 1000 years for this without a warning doesn't make me lose my faith in Jesus or Catholicism. If it did I had no sincere faith to begin with.

I just accept the fact most of these Catholic media sites are filled with people like this. And when I say "like this" I don't intend to say it in a way to present myself as the victim and the better person. I just know I don't see eye to eye with a lot of these people who are previlant on forums and on the radio. I'm not about to let them rob me of my faith. I even still listen to them on the radio and read what they write and take away the good stuff that helps me.

I feel bad there are actual people who lost their faith because of Phatmass. But at the same time I can't help to also feel it's really lame. I'm lame in a lot of areas too so we're in the same boat. Whoever these people are will be included in my next Rosary and I pray their faith is restored.

Did they really ban you 1000 years? I have to say I appreciate the dramatic flourish.  1,000 yrs is more beautiful than "perma ban."

  I used to tell bad Catholics they should consider leaving the church. When I say bad, I dont mean sinners. I mean people who just dont believe that what the Church teaches is a sin, is a sin. Because I believe God prefers an honest atheist to a hypocritical Catholic, who mouths the words I'm Catholic but who's heart says "no."  And, I still believe this, honestly.  I think people who confront who they are have a better chance at conversion one day too vs someone who stays comfy as a cultural catholic. And I, personally, know that I value integrity more than other things. So I would 100% burn my catholic culture to the ground if I didnt think it was true. Part of it is I expect others to value the same things, and I am irritated when they dont.

But, I repented from that, because i realized its above my pay grade. I have too much fear and trembling that people could die in mortal sin because of my advice. Maybe they would anyway, because they dont see a need to confess sexual sin, for example.  But who knows what path their soul might take, better to leave it to God than to puppet master people. So, it is needed to take care what we say or do. 

On the other hand. Ive heard it said there are two sins. Giving scandal and being scandalized. Giving scandal is like murder, being scandalized is like suicide. Like you said. committing spiritual suicide because of a message board would seem to be seriously lame. One would think people value their relationship with Jesus more than that - if they were believers to begin with.

 

 

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