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28yrolddiscerner

Date a non Catholic

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little2add

I guess you being so young you haven't experienced the trials and tribulations of  raising children.  It is no easy task.  

After you have a few children of your own you might begin see things differently.  

 

Do you know the song by Mike & The Mechanics  called  "The Living Years".   This tread made me think  of it.  

You all, should give it a listen!

 

 

1 hour ago, Lilllabettt said:

Sometimes asking a person to be supportive or other-centered, is like asking them to get taller.

I think you misunderstood me, forgiveness is not at all the same thing

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Lilllabettt
4 minutes ago, little2add said:

I guess you being so young you haven't experienced the trials and tribulations of  raising children.  It is no easy task.  

After you have a few children of your own you might begin see things differently.  

 

Do you know the song by Mike & The Mechanics  called  "The Living Years".   This tread made me think  of it.  

You all, should give it a listen!

 

 

I love when people tell me "I'll understand when I have kids."

Cuz then I stare them straight in the face and tell them: "I'm barren."

The Lord has not seen fit to remove my shame and is highly unlikely to since my equipment was destroyed by disease.

In general you should never tell a woman she'll understand when she has kids. She might be barren, or her only child was stillborn,  or she may feel certain she will never get the chance to marry or she may have decided she doesnt want to marry. 

In case you're wondering, yes it is bad that you are old and haven't learned this yet. M-a-n-n-e-r-s

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Anomaly

Manners?    Staring in the face and saying you’re BARREN, isn’t polite either.   That’s not informing someone of thoughtless inflicting hurt.  That’s intent to be hurtful back.  

Also doesn’t men you can’t adoopt or be a foster parent.    There are multiple ways to be a mother without contributing dna.   

I have multiple family members that are family that are not dna related.  Who are you to say their nurture parents are less than nature parents?   

There are ways of making points without falling into an argument.   I get the point of being a non-practicing Catholic and the theological issues.  Discuss them without painting it as a paid ticket to hell.   It’s not constructive and isn’t going to help any change other then fuel a fight.  

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Lilllabettt
11 minutes ago, Anomaly said:

Manners?    Staring in the face and saying you’re BARREN, isn’t polite either.   That’s not informing someone of thoughtless inflicting hurt.  That’s intent to be hurtful back.  

Also doesn’t men you can’t adoopt or be a foster parent.    There are multiple ways to be a mother without contributing dna.   

I have multiple family members that are family that are not dna related.  Who are you to say their nurture parents are less than nature parents?   

There are ways of making points without falling into an argument.   I get the point of being a non-practicing Catholic and the theological issues.  Discuss them without painting it as a paid ticket to hell.   It’s not constructive and isn’t going to help any change other then fuel a fight.  

My apologies, but I am not trying to convert you. I am answering the question "would you date a noncatholic." I answered that I did not/didnt if I could help it. But I would date a non Catholic before a non practicing Catholic.  The reason is that it is confusing for kids, makes it harder to successfully keep the baptismal promises you make on their behalf. It is frickin difficult for kids to stay Catholic when their religion teaches them a parent is in mortal sin, and should they die that way will burn in hell for all eternity. I'm sorry I did not keep the sensibilities of the non Catholics on the thread top o mind. But you know ... insulting you was not the point. 

Similarily when i tell people I'm barren, im not trying to be polite. I'm trying to burn the memory of the embarrassment into that person's psyche, thereby repairing forever, in 1 instant, the home training missing from their education. 

Lets do some training for you.

Not all people who can't have kids are able to adopt. Stop and read that last part three times 

Private adoption is expensive, 30k-40k range. Adoption from foster care is free, but requires parents to promise, commit and actively work towards reuniting the kids they take in with their birth family. Not everyone is called to work towards breaking their heart in pieces. Some people with chronic serious health conditions, or who can't drive, or who are in military families, or who are just poor, wont ever be approved for fostering or adoption, unless maybe they move to a more lenient/hard-up-for-parents jurisdiction. I could go on and on. Adoption is not a possibility for everyone. So stop recommending it to barren women like they dont know what it is.

40 minutes ago, little2add said:

 please accept my apologies

sorry, I did not mean to offend you or anyone

It's ok. I'm mostly messing w/you. I am not uncomfortable with being a barren woman. I've been dealing with it for a long time so it's like when someone's been dead for a decade. You miss them but it's not like it shreds you anymore. Dont be upset :kiss::blowkiss:

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Lilllabettt
1 minute ago, Anomaly said:

As I thought.  

There’s nothing I can say but to wish you happiness and a peaceful heart.  

Thank you sincerely :heart:

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Lil Red
On December 1, 2018 at 12:16 PM, 28yrolddiscerner said:

Would you date a non-catholic?  There are no local Catholic Bachelors, and a lot of guys on dating sites are creeps!  Is this a sin???

I've been married to a non-Catholic for….almost 20 years. Been together longer than that. 

On December 2, 2018 at 7:39 AM, Anomaly said:

 

It’s more like a thrill ride.  You want someone who will grab your hand, put their arms around you, and roll past the platform with you for the next round.  

And someone with a good sense of humor to help you laugh through it. :D 

On December 4, 2018 at 9:22 AM, Anomaly said:

Bottom line, you can think you have deal breakers beforehand, but really what you are required to have is a firm commitment to deal with ANYTHING that comes along.  

Catholic or not, get married with the intent to stay together no matter what.   NOBODY wants to stay together 100% of the time and everyone changes.  It’s sticking up for the other person, letting them carry you sometimes, or hunkering down while in a storm you never expected.  It’s apologizing when you don’t think you’re wrong, and accepting apologies that are unspoken.  

If you think some aspect are definitely “Nope”, then don’t.   I promise there will be many things you will strongly prefer never to have dealt with that you just can’t imagine.   

But if you look for them, there will be experiences that make it all worth while. 

yup yup yup. 

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