Jump to content
Josh

Detroit Archdiocese reprimands priest after homily during teen's funeral sparks anger

Recommended Posts

BarbaraTherese

Again, this was written prior to the above post and is not a comment on it. I had already read the homily.

A homily, insofar as I am aware, focuses on the Gospel and Readings and how to apply to our own lives.  I think that Father made his homily about the deceased young man personally and against the wishes of the family.  Even if the whole congregation knew that the young man had suicided, that was not reason for Father to go against what the family wanted, which is usually discussed in meeting prior to the Funeral Mass.  If Father felt he really could not go with what the family wanted, he should have told them.

But as I wrote, he meant well, but was right off the mark, to use his own words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lilllabettt
Just now, BarbaraTherese said:

Again, this was written prior to the above post and is not a comment on it. I had already read the homily.

A homily, insofar as I am aware, focuses on the Gospel and Readings and how to apply to our own lives.  I think that Father made his homily about the deceased young man personally and against the wishes of the family.  Even if the whole congregation knew that the young man had suicided, that was not reason for Father to go against what the family wanted, which is usually discussed in meeting prior to the Funeral Mass.  If Father felt he really could not go with what the family wanted, he should have told them.

But as I wrote, he meant well, but was right off the mark, to use his own words.

Well, he does talk about the readings. Maybe the family misunderstood "the plan." Provably not in a good condition to keep track of everything that's discussed right now. BUT they for sure do not understand the purpose of a funeral mass, despite being lifelong members of the church. Some priest, or more likely a series of them, including all those who let the dead go unprayed for at the funerals these parents attended in the past - bear responsibility for their ignorance.  What a pity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BarbaraTherese
15 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

 

The above homily was described by you as cruel and lacking in mercy.

Really?

It's likely the most catholic thing I've heard read at a funeral mass - and I hear them said a LOT.

The homily above is exactly what would comfort me in the wake of a loved ones suicide. 

I do think that Father's homily was cruel and lacking in Mercy, but to me he intended well.  Despite his good intentions, he was right off the mark he intended.    I would have been upset at the homily if I had advised Father, prior to the Funeral Mass, that the family did not want it generally known that the young man had suicided.  

I think Father's homily was spot on theologically, but wrong place and time...........due to what the family wanted.  If the family had asked for a homily that underscored the Mercy of God even at the sin of suicide, then Father would have found his venue.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lilllabettt
14 minutes ago, BarbaraTherese said:

I do think that Father's homily was cruel and lacking in Mercy, but to me he intended well.  Despite his good intentions, he was right off the mark he intended.    I would have been upset at the homily if I had advised Father, prior to the Funeral Mass, that the family did not want it generally known that the young man had suicided.  

I think Father's homily was spot on theologically, but wrong place and time...........due to what the family wanted.  If the family had asked for a homily that underscored the Mercy of God even at the sin of suicide, then Father would have found his venue.

 

Why does What the Family Wants trump what The Deceased Deserves?

Perhaps this priest did not have the cajones to tell the parents straight up: your son deserves a proper funeral mass. Not a eulogy serving your interests.

The terrible shame is that this priest is having his name dragged through the mud, and is actually forbidden from giving funeral homilies now. Insane!!! This is the BEST funeral homily I've heard/read,  maybe ever. Certainly in a long time. As a future dead person I would LOVE to have this priest preach my funeral. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BarbaraTherese

ok...........I think we will disagree no matter what.  We can agree to disagree :) 

Edited by BarbaraTherese

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lilllabettt
4 minutes ago, BarbaraTherese said:

ok...........I think we will disagree no matter what.  We can agree to disagree :) 

Ok. But just so you know. You dont tell a priest what you want in a homily. This isn't burger king. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Josh
19 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

Why does What the Family Wants trump what The Deceased Deserves?

Perhaps this priest did not have the cajones to tell the parents straight up: your son deserves a proper funeral mass. Not a eulogy serving your interests.

The terrible shame is that this priest is having his name dragged through the mud, and is actually forbidden from giving funeral homilies now. Insane!!! This is the BEST funeral homily I've heard/read,  maybe ever. Certainly in a long time. As a future dead person I would LOVE to have this priest preach my funeral. 

Can you post it ?

Nevermind I see you did.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BarbaraTherese
Quote

Ok. But just so you know. You dont tell a priest what you want in a homily. This isn't burger king. 

LOL  

I don't know what happens elsewhere, but in Australia there is a meeting between the priest celebrant and the family to discuss the Funeral Mass.   Father puts forward potential Gospels and Readings at that Meeting and the family picks which they would like.  Other matters can be discussed at the meeting too.  The homily is then based on the Gospel and Readings and how the congregation can apply them to their own lives.

The family had told Father they did not want it generally known that the young man had committed suicide.  Father ignored their request.

 

As I said before, Father gave an excellent spot on theological homily........just wrong place and wrong time.

Edited by BarbaraTherese

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lilllabettt
7 minutes ago, Josh said:

Thanks for posting the transcript. Can I ask what is the source?

Cnn: https://www-m.cnn.com/2018/12/16/us/michigan-funeral-priest-slams-suicide/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

Theres a link in the text to a copy.

The headline says it all. The mother is distraught her son was called a sinner in front of everyone.  Lord have mercy, that should have been the situation at every funeral mass shes ever been to!!! Shes a lifelong Catholic!!!

Now this priest is going to get "professional help" so he learns not to tell people they have to pray for the dead. Great. Another homilist telling dumb awkward stories about someone he doesnt know and skipping over the reason for the mass. Geeze louise!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Josh

The Priest should of been straight up with the dad and told him he was going to mention the suicide more than once in the homily. The dad said the priest took notes and seemed to give the dad the impression he would stick to something that they had discussed. If the dad is lying or fabricating this then I'm on the priest side. Although if the dad is being completely honest about this and His memory is correct then I think the priest is wrong. He should of been straight up with the dad and told him he was going to be talking about the suicide the entire homily. He also shouldn't of told the dad he was going to let him and others speak before the mass was ended. The dad said this was agreed upon yet the priest attempted to end things before they had a chance to speak.

Edited by Josh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lilllabettt
19 minutes ago, Josh said:

The Priest should of been straight up with the dad and told him he was going to mention the suicide more than once in the homily. The dad said the priest took notes and seemed to give the dad the impression he would stick to something that they had discussed. If the dad is lying or fabricating this then I'm on the priest side. Although if the dad is being completely honest about this and His memory is correct then I think the priest is wrong. He should of been straight up with the dad and told him he was going to be talking about the suicide the entire homily. He also shouldn't of told the dad he was going to let him and others speak before the mass was ended. The dad said this was agreed upon.

Priests often ask family of the deceased to tell them about the person. Because it can be awkward talking at the funeral of someone you dont know. But that doesn't mean any of it is going in the homily. 

Because Catholics are poorly formed they expect a eulogy at their funerals going over kind or funny things the dead person said and did and expressions of how important they were. This is frickin weak lame sauce bs that's embarrassing for Christianity. 

However, it's what people expect. So a lot of priests go along with it because (you know why.) The parents obviously expected something like that.  Because once again the church has failed over and over to catechize people. 

Did he not make explicit what he was going to do, obviously.  Its apparent to me that there were assumptions being made and lines of communication were crossed. But the media characterization of this poor man as a cruel, stone hearted nut job and the archdiocese's decision to try to professionally squeeze the Catholicism out of him is DISGUSTING. 

Now the parents want him ejected from the priesthood. They are comparing the sexual abuse of children to the 100% catholic homily their son received at his funeral mass. Their pain must be incredible but at a certain point you do catch culpability for destroying a mans reputation. God knows if they are there yet.

I'm going to try to find the parish address and send this priest some moral support. Like I said I would LOVE to have him preach my funeral.

 

Edited by Lilllabettt

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BarbaraTherese
23 minutes ago, Josh said:

The Priest should of been straight up with the dad and told him he was going to mention the suicide more than once in the homily. The dad said the priest took notes and seemed to give the dad the impression he would stick to something that they had discussed. If the dad is lying or fabricating this then I'm on the priest side. Although if the dad is being completely honest about this and His memory is correct then I think the priest is wrong. He should of been straight up with the dad and told him he was going to be talking about the suicide the entire homily. He also shouldn't of told the dad he was going to let him and others speak before the mass was ended. The dad said this was agreed upon yet the priest attempted to end things before they had a chance to speak.

I think it might be a cultural divide, but here in Australia eulogy type addresses by family members or others can be given either before the beginning of Mass or after Mass has ended.  Or even at the Vigil the night before.

I think there has to be more to Father's partial suspension by the diocesan authority than what has been made known.  I could be wrong of course and if so, then I think the diocesan authority has been much too heavy handed in partial suspension.  Father might have attempted to stand his ground and argue with the diocesan authority leading to partial suspension.

Most all might's and maybe's, if's and perhaps.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Josh
19 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

I'm going to try to find the parish address and send this priest some moral support. Like I said I would LOVE to have him preach my funeral

That's cool. Like I said earlier I hope at least every other homily he preaches on the evil of all the priests who've sexually abused minors and little kids. How it's ruined these people's lives and pushed some to suicide. How it's made countless of people (victim and non victim) walk away from Catholicism all together. I hope he preaches just as passionately about the complete failure of the bishops cardinals and popes who have went to great lengths to cover all this up and try to save reputations. If you're going to preach the hard truths preach them all. Espically the ones I just mentioned. Since Jesus said it would be better to have a milestone hung around your neck and drowned in the sea than to be these men.

Edited by Josh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×