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Are you more orthodox than your parents?


Dave

How orthodox are you compared to your parents?  

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My dad isn't Catholic (he isn't anything) my mom is a Catholic who goes to mass if it isn't too hard, and has no problems letting my two little sisters sleep instead of going to mass.

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Fides_et_Ratio

I'm struggling/pretending to be Orthodox... but my parents wouldn't even know what orthodox means, nor could they even tell you the name of the Pastor or what the inside of the church looks like.

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journeyman

[quote name='Snowcatpa' date='Jun 8 2005, 12:19 PM']I think it is so wonderful that many of you have been raised in such orthodox households and disheartening to read how many of us aren’t. I think the question you raise is really, really important, for even more situated/contextual/historical reasons than because it’s harder for us to practice our faith and live a Catholic life.

<snip>. Because our values on the whole are more representative of our grandparents than our parents, some us are experiencing a great disparity between our beliefs and those of our parents.

<snip> We jokingly nicknamed our Catholic study group the “I have Heterodox Parents Support Group”. <snip>

This is not to imply that I think all Baby Boomers are heterodox Catholics fundamentally at odds with their progeny; there are millions of devout Catholics of all ages and of all nations and many of us have been fortunate enough to be raised in homes and communities with them. I point out this generational conflict, however, motivated to do so by personal experience, as a particular manifestation of the seemingly peculiar reversal of beliefs which grew out of the seismic developments in the 20th century.

Does anyone else have some insights into this? How historically it seems to have developed and what to do about it (besides pray, which, granted, can do a lot)?

I’d like to know if what I observe is true for other young Catholics – as it appears to be from previous posts in this thread. Do you have this reversal and this discrepancy in your lives? How do you cope with that?

I don’t know how to defend myself and stand against those who are, in more ways than one, my authorities. It powerfully exemplifies the parable of leaving one’s father and mother to follow the Way of and for Christ…but what confuses me most, is that my parents and their friends honestly believe they did that too  :(

What does this mean? And what do we do?
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As I'm not a cradle Catholic, I didn't vote . . . I know my eldest son is more orthodox than I, but my younger children are less so . . . I wonder if I can get them to join your study group . . . what a great name! . . . or at least copy you?

I think what you are noticing is a fairly typical societal pendulum - you sort of touched on it when mentioning grandparents' values being closer -

For the "parental" generation, Vatican II opened a lot of doors and windows (I really liked Ash Wednesday's description of her mother, and I think she is right, that is what the Church hoped would happen, but in most cases didn't) and a lot of people went crazy . . . you guys look at us and say, "you're crazy" and the pendulum swings back to the values of the earlier generation. (Luthien's parents sound great . . . I wish I were half as good)

It doesn't always work, but I'm still radical enough to say don't worry about your parents "accepting" your orthodoxy. You have a reasoned set of values, they work for you, and they aren't going to harm you or others. You can honor and respect your parents for virtues other than their orthodoxy; and they should honor and respect you for the virtues they do see in you.

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[quote name='Fides_et_Ratio' date='Jun 8 2005, 04:29 PM']I'm struggling/pretending to be Orthodox... but my parents wouldn't even know what orthodox means, nor could they even tell you the name of the Pastor or what the inside of the church looks like.
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Being orthodox isn't really all that hard.....I am serious. If you adhere to the teachings of the Church, don't waiver, fulfill you Easter duty and live the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, you are orthodox.....

Cam

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let_go_let_God

I try to be as othodox as I can, but I can say that I am a bit more orthodox than my parents. My mom is somewhat orthodox; she is in charge of our three person music ministry (very small parish) she tries to pray at least every night, and there are many things that she has great faith in, but I don't feel that she puts as much as I know she can and wants to. My father made a return to the faith. He was educated pre-Vatican II but came back (reluctantly) after Vatican II very scared. He is making an effort to worship as much as he can or at least knows how. One thing that I think my parents respect me for a lot is my faith, and they both ask me questions about what I know, or about different prayers, stuff like that.

I do think that I am a bit more orthodox than my parents, but I am helping them to learn more, as they also help me.

God bless-
LGLG

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Catholictothecore

My parents are my example. I hope to be half the Catholics they are sometimes.

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My parents and I are the same(heh, they do have A LOT more knowledge then I do of course), and, like CttC, they are my example.

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[quote]As I'm not a cradle Catholic, I didn't vote . . . I know my eldest son is more orthodox than I, but my younger children are less so . . . I wonder if I can get them to join your study group . . . what a great name! . . . or at least copy you? [/quote]

[quote]I think what you are noticing is a fairly typical societal pendulum - you sort of touched on it when mentioning grandparents' values being closer -

For the "parental" generation, Vatican II opened a lot of doors and windows (I really liked Ash Wednesday's description of her mother, and I think she is right, that is what the Church hoped would happen, but in most cases didn't) and a lot of people went crazy . . . you guys look at us and say, "you're crazy" and the pendulum swings back to the values of the earlier generation. (Luthien's parents sound great . . . I wish I were half as good)

It doesn't always work, but I'm still radical enough to say don't worry about your parents "accepting" your orthodoxy. You have a reasoned set of values, they work for you, and they aren't going to harm you or others. You can honor and respect your parents for virtues other than their orthodoxy; and they should honor and respect you for the virtues they do see in you. [/quote]

[color=purple] [b] haha, of course! take the name! Our group officially remains the "Newman Club" because fortunately there are members of us who have wonderfully orthodox parents :)

You mentioned the swinging pendulum of societal values and that definitely was the image I had in my head :) I guess what just fascinates me about it is the extreme way to which we've taken it. Kind of like the Counter-Reformation answered the Reformation, are we, on a smaller scale within the Catholic church itself, our own little Counter-Reformation to the 60's Counter-Culture? It's so interesting...Why does it have to always swing like that though, you know? Why can't everyone just be wonderfully Orthodox Catholic :D?

But I know you're right about respecting my parents for the wonderful virtues they do have, regardless of their orthodoxy. I think sometimes it's easy to not see all the wonderful virtues in our parents because we're too focused on ourselves and how we are such "good catholics" or becoming "good catholics",:unsure: when they are... the most amazing people regardless of their orthodoxy, that we may ever meet. I appreciate that reminder, journeyman, I really do. [/color] [/b]

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Fides_et_Ratio

[quote name='Cam42' date='Jun 8 2005, 08:51 PM']Being orthodox isn't really all that hard.....I am serious.  If you adhere to the teachings of the Church, don't waiver, fulfill you Easter duty and live the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, you are orthodox.....

Cam
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Ha, easier said then done when you live with a parish priest (associate) who makes up his own liturgies and the Pastor does nothing except say "Jillian, I think there are other things we need to worry about", and your letter to the bishop got a reply that was limited to the paper it was printed on.

And it's easy to just say "find another parish"... but I'm still in the same diocese, with the same bishop who did nothing.. and I would be leaving a place where I have very strong roots (and leaving against the advice of my previous spiritual director, now in Rome, who advised "good, stay where you are planted").

Finding the balance between orthodox and schizophrenic/'screw it, let's be agnostic'... is hard.

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[quote name='KizlarAgha' date='Jun 9 2005, 12:08 AM']I'm way more orthodox than my parents.  But I'm working on them.
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Be a witness to the faith. Like St. Francis said, "Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words." Lead by your example, people'll pick up on things like that.

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[color=purple][b]How do we answer though, to statements that all our parents have worked for in the Church and in Society is being lost, or at least, abandoned by us? How do we answer to their feelings of disappointment and hurtfulness because we are not choosing to continue their movements for "women's liberation" or the reforms in the Church? [/color][/b]

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