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When your spiritual director says something else


the_rev

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I have found a wonderful orthodox, faithful young priest from my diocese. He is in the same pridicament as I am. He was an only child, and it was hard for his family to accept his vocation.

Just recently I asked him to be my spiritual director, he accepted. We arranged that once a month we get together, this month he drove to my city, and next month I drive to his. So it's a nice system we have worked out.

Our session today was just a "get to know each other better" I told him about my situation, how I've felt called to the priesthood the entire time, how my parish has a liberal priest, how my mother doesn't want me to be a priest, etc.

He said that he was in the same exact situation when he was my age; at 16. It is like we are almost one in the same person; it is that freaky.

He gave me this advice because I told him I wanted to go to the college seminary after high school. this is what he said.

"Eddie, I really don't advise this, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. I went to a public school like you, I felt called to the priesthood, so I did what you want to do, entered college seminary. Though I don't regret my priesthood, now at my age of 27, I question if that was the right move for me to make. My motive was the same as you, to skip out of pre-theology, and to say my grandmothers funeral. I look back and I tell myself I made a mistake. I missed out on college, I missed out on friendships, I missed out on a huge part which is a part of one's life. I never dated, and I regret all of this. When your my age, and if you are a priest, I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE LIKE ME, and question if you did the right thing. Don't get me wrong I love my priesthood, and I'm not going to leave, but I wish I would have done other things than living a sheltered life. Go to college, major in what you want, date, and if you still feel called, then enter major seminary, the only bad thing is you have to take an extra two years of schooling."

I might follow his advice, he is a learned man, a holy man. So I respect his direction and will discern it. I can't wait to get together again.

What do you think.... This is one the priests I most respect so your thoughts?

In Christ Jesus,

Ed

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Guest Rick777

hmmmm.. sounds like he has a lot of regrets. If you want to start doing the Lords work as soon as possible don't let this stop you., if you feel that you may also be called to another vocation like marriage then maybe you should try reg. college.

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well, I would reccommend you pray about it. It is important to take the advice of your spiritual director seriously, especially if he is a holy and orthodox priest, but remember you need to figure out what God is asking of YOU. A good SD can direct you towards the right path, but ultimately you need to know for yourself if that is what God is asking of you.

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While I do say if you are truly called, then do it, this priest is saying something very similar to what other priests have told you (like the bust out of the box priest). You keep chaning your mind between marriage and priesthood, and then between a few different orders. My advice is to go to college. Your faith is strong enough that you probably wouldn't lose sight of your vocation after a year or 4 at college. Study what you want, and if you have to do a year or two in pre-theology, then it's worth it. You would be a more well-rounded priest. I had to decide between the convent and college when I graduated,a nd I chose college. It was the best choice I ever made, even with having to wait, because it ended up that the Missionaries of Charity needed me to prepare a teenager for Baptism and Holy Communion this year. God will bless whatever choice you make as long as you remain faithful to what you believe He is calling you to. If nothing else college can serve as a time to get away from the pressures of your mother so that you can discern more freely and also give you time to make your mind up. The priesthood can't just be an idea in your head. You need to act on it and stop jumping from vocation to vocation on a weekly basis. You're 16, and you have time. Just relax and be a teenager, Eddie!

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crazymaine catholic

i've heard a few ordination stories from some of my diocesan priests. it's interesting to hear that many of them were dating when they found their vocation. a couple were even engaged. i've been told during vocation retreats that it's a good idea to explore all paths. the best way to do that would be in college. of course, God's will be done for you. you have my prayers. :)

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its important to follow the advice of your sd but also if you are truly called it is important for you to follow your vocation. I cannot tell you what to do you need to pray. I lean more toward you not going to college first but also i think it is really important to follow the adive of your sd. i will most definately be praying for you. God Bless and Mary keep.

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The most important thing is to pray. Secondly, I would personally follow his advice, just to be completely sure that the priesthood is for you. That's the course I've been on at the moment, I'll be going to college sometime in 2007, and may enter into some relationships. If it turns out that this life isn't for me, and I'm being called to the priesthood, then so be it.

I'm still not 100% sure what I would be happier and most effective in, that's why I'm taking this approach.

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TheOliverOrder88

Yep..

Spiritual directors should aid, not absolutely direct your spiritual life...

They really can't anyway. God is the ultimate spiritual director.

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  • 2 months later...

I know this is an older post, but I wanted to reply. My advice is to most definately pray about it and just think about all options and maybe seek advice from a few others too and most of all trust in the lord and ask that he make it known to your heart what is his will and then follow that, your spiritual director is awesome and god love him for persevering but he can't know anymore than you that you'll feel as he has, because it is God who truly knows, your SD can only guide you and give you something to think about and then leave it all in gods hands.

God Bless You!

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Laurentina1975

I agree that it is ultimately in God's hands.

I like hearing vocation stories though because I can relate to certain pieces of other peoples stories. I can take what I want from them and see if it any of it is mirrored in me (the things I see that are the same) and then pray about it.

I have found in my year and a half of discernment that keeping a journal is such an awesome tool, because you can go back and see how you felt at certain times in your life and see how God was working in it all.

Hope I helped.

Peace and all good. :)

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I just saw this thread for the first time today. And it's funny because 'my' spiritual director said to me when I first started discerning a couple of years ago, that I shouldn't date at the same time. Because 'you can't really discern both vocations at the same time'. He said that dating might feel like a distraction. So, I guess, you have to do what God is telling you in your heart. It's good to see the world and have a social life, but in the same respect, if Jesus is calling you, do you really want to put Him off until after you've done everything else?

IMO, anyway.

I will keep praying for you Ed.

God bless you.
D.

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photosynthesis

"And how shall I acquire 'our formation', how shall I keep 'our spirit'? — By being faithful to the specific norms your Director gave you and explained to you, and made you love: be faithful to them and you will be an apostle." - St. Josemaria

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See, that's such a hard one. If you truly trust your director (not sure how many times you've seen him), then you should do what he says on obedience. But, if it bothers you enough to share it on here, you should speak to him about what's bothering you. His words , if God's will is that you have this SD, will give you comfort and peace. There are freaky SDs out there. . .because my first director, as I was 'trying him out'? Thought that I should, as St Therese petitioned the pope to enter Carmel earlier than normal, petition the pope to be the first female priest. Yea, you can tell I kept him for a long time! LOL

Anyway, I'd pray to the Holy Spirit to enlighten you, if this is the SD you are meant to follow, to help guide you, to make sure that this priest isn't trying to project his own issues on to you. After the cooky priest, (sorry Mary, please pray for him!) I decided on a religious sister, here in town, recommended by the (at that time, liberal) diocesan director of vocations. I met the religious who said that I should eschew the habit as it's a relic of the past. I didn't keep her long either.

Again, it's all about praying, discerning if you want this priest to be your director, can he objectively guide you and help you discern your vocation?

We need a $.05 icon/smiley! LOL But there was mine.

God bless you,
Denise

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