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Hair Trauma


franciscanheart

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franciscanheart

[size=1][i]I just posted this to my blog.. I'm still in shock over this whole event.. might have something to do with the fact that only 30 minutes have passed...[/i][/size]
I just got home from having my hair cut. It needed to be done. After six months of absolutely NO professional treatment, it was getting pretty raggedy. I knew going in that I would need to cut off several inches.. but I didn't realize it would be SIX. Yeah.. five to six inches came off in a matter of a minute. Then it was 'cleaned up' which meant another half inch or so. I was amazingly relaxed while it was going on and it wasn't until after I left that I started to have my breakdown which came to it's climax when I showed my dad and his response was literally...

*eyes widen* *mouth drops* "OH MY GOD!"

(Sorry, Lord. He was shocked.) Yeah.. I pretty much lost it. I cried. I can't believe all of my hair is gone.. I can't even hide it in a pony tail. It looks awful. More than anything, I'm sad that I lost so much hair. It took me so much time to grow it out and my plan was to let it grow until I entered a community. That's still my plan.. it's just a plan that's five inches shorter now.

*sigh* I really want this gift to be beautiful for our Lord and that's about the only thing that is keeping me from crying again now. It will grow out again and with regular maitenance, it will stay healthy. Now all I need to remember is to breathe.. and stay calm.

I don't even want to see people now.. they're gunna freak just like my dad. My stylist and his team of course love it but they always do... or at least they all pretend they do. And I think the reason I didn't freak out DURING the process was because A) my hair was so long I couldn't even see where he was cutting initially, B) I didn't have glasses so I couldn't see anything anyway, and C) I was talking to him about discerning a vocation to the religious life. He had so many questions and I was happy to have answers... Yep. Totally distracted.

Experiences like these are exactly the reason I wait so long to go back.. ho hum.

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puellapaschalis

Eat healthily, exercise properly, spend a good amount of your day in prayer and it'll grow back soon enough! A few years ago, on an emotional down (a bit of an understatement) I lopped off my very thick, knee-length hair up to my jawbone. It looked fantastic - I was told - but now I wish I hadn't.

There is something quite powerful about a girl/woman's hair, I think, especially if it's long (a relative term). I'm only beginning to realise this myself now - I don't think our hair is something we can simply "utilitise". It does mean something, cutting it off means something, and cutting it at your investiture means something.

'Course, this is all personal meanderings and it's possible I'm quite off the mark. But what I wanted to share was: it's all right to be upset. Even if you don't (over-)symbolise stuff like I do, six inches is a lot of hair to lose in one fell snip, and it will take a while to get used to. If you like, you could see it as a step in your discernment - you've discovered something new with the Sisters of the Renewal and it marks the beginning of a fresh step and direction in your journey towards God.

I don't know what your time-frame is or if you even have one - but hair can grow one heck of a few inches in a few years. Concentrate on God and He'll give you a superb investiture!

Love and prayers,

PP

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I think the bigger gift to Our Lord would be your detachment from your hair. I have been growing mine out for a long time, too, so I can imagine how you feel! Actually I had someone cut six inches off of mine when I was younger after I had only asked for a trim. But don't worry! It will grow back before you know it, and for now you can have fun with shorter hairstyles :) PP had some really good things to say. And I agree, He will make your investiture beautiful no matter what ^_^

Edited by Totus Tuus
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franciscanheart

[quote name='puellapaschalis' post='1154712' date='Jan 2 2007, 03:01 PM']
If you like, you could see it as a step in your discernment - you've discovered something new with the Sisters of the Renewal and it marks the beginning of a fresh step and direction in your journey towards God.[/quote]
Now that I like. :blush:


I am a little disappointed in my attachment to my hair.. but the good side of it is that the reason I am most attached to it at the present moment is because I want to give it away later.. and this somehow feels like less of a gift. :pinch: Anyway, thanks for the suggestion pp. I really like it and it really does make me feel SO much better.

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puellapaschalis

[quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1154721' date='Jan 2 2007, 11:33 PM']
I am a little disappointed in my attachment to my hair.. but the good side of it is that the reason I am most attached to it at the present moment is because I want to give it away later.. and this somehow feels like less of a gift. :pinch: Anyway, thanks for the suggestion pp. I really like it and it really does make me feel SO much better.
[/quote]

If I come across something about myself that lets me down, so to speak, such as an attachment to something - I try ("try" being the operative word) not to see it as something to get despondent about, but another opportunity for grace. Because in this failing there's a good amount of ground to cover, a huge scope for improvement: a flaw can become another part of Christ's triumph.

Well, that's the theory, anyway :)

I'm humbled that you found my words helpful. Deo gratias!

Love and prayers,

PP

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[quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1154700' date='Jan 2 2007, 02:29 PM']
Experiences like these are exactly the reason I wait so long to go back.. ho hum.
[/quote]

I understand that pain. I haven't had my hair cut in thirteen months because last time was a total disaster. To make matters worse, someone took my picture and put it up on facebook. :pinch:

Also, keep in mind that you still have a whole year [i]after[/i] you enter to grow your hair. So I'm sure you'll have really long hair by then.

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franciscanheart

[quote name='TrueImage' post='1154788' date='Jan 2 2007, 05:09 PM']
Also, keep in mind that you still have a whole year [i]after[/i] you enter to grow your hair. So I'm sure you'll have really long hair by then.
[/quote]
This is also something I try to remember. It only took me about a year and a half to two years to grow it out.. and regardless, I'll be giving up something that I've nurtured for that very moment. And like stlmom said.. I can't lose sight of the fact that God wants my HEART so much more than my hair.

[size=1][i]The sad part of me is the part that says the hair is the visible sign of what is not visible in my heart... and then rational me says that what is invisible in my heart is visible through my actions... What a mess. :lol: [/i][/size]

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HeavenlyCalling

I am having hair problems too ( not to steal your thunder, hughey ). I have brown hair that my mom always had cut relativly short ( a bit above my sholders) and highlighted blonde. It looks great when I bother to blowdry and flat iron it; but I never do. So I want to grow my hair long and let the streaks grow out. My mom says that brown is an ugly color on me ( thanks mom! ) and my hair is better this length. It's driving me nuts! :crazy: :D:

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I can totally relate.
I used to have REALLY long hair. That all changed when I entered the convent. Each haircut was traumatic for a long time. Someone would just cut our hair in the novitiate to keep in short. No big deal. I have learned to live with short hair and we wear a veil so it doesn't show other than the very front.
Detachment is crucial in this way of life, however, I still struggle with getting my hair cut-Sr.Jacqulyn cut my hair once this summer and it was a pretty memorable experience----
Over Thanksgiving I was visiting with my parents and went to get my haircut at a walk in shop. They cut it sooo short that my parents were in shock when I came home. I guess they figured that sisters had to have REALLY SHORT hair.
My Dad's reaction was like your dad's. He took to calling me "shortie" for the longest time. Now it seems that I have advanced to "mediumie". So there's hope...In a few weeks you too can be "mediumie".
:shock: :idontknow:

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franciscanheart

[quote name='sisterjanetihm' post='1154850' date='Jan 2 2007, 06:31 PM']
I can totally relate.
I used to have REALLY long hair. That all changed when I entered the convent. Each haircut was traumatic for a long time. Someone would just cut our hair in the novitiate to keep in short. No big deal. I have learned to live with short hair and we wear a veil so it doesn't show other than the very front.
Detachment is crucial in this way of life, however, I still struggle with getting my hair cut-Sr.Jacqulyn cut my hair once this summer and it was a pretty memorable experience----
Over Thanksgiving I was visiting with my parents and went to get my haircut at a walk in shop. They cut it sooo short that my parents were in shock when I came home. I guess they figured that sisters had to have REALLY SHORT hair.
My Dad's reaction was like your dad's. He took to calling me "shortie" for the longest time. Now it seems that I have advanced to "mediumie". So there's hope...In a few weeks you too can be "mediumie".
:shock: :idontknow:
[/quote]
:lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks, Sister!

With the order I am interested in, no one ever sees your hair after investiture.. not even the other sisters. I don't think I would be too worried about it after investiture because .. I've given it up! And you don't see ANY of the sisters' hair. It's all covered. I really don't know how they go about cutting their hair.. but I do know that no one ever sees it. So I guess they cut their own. :unsure: I'm sure it's lovely. :lol:

[quote name='HeavenlyCalling' post='1154827' date='Jan 2 2007, 05:58 PM']
I am having hair problems too ( not to steal your thunder, hughey ). I have brown hair that my mom always had cut relativly short ( a bit above my sholders) and highlighted blonde. It looks great when I bother to blowdry and flat iron it; but I never do. So I want to grow my hair long and let the streaks grow out. My mom says that brown is an ugly color on me ( thanks mom! ) and my hair is better this length. It's driving me nuts! :crazy: :D:
[/quote]
Steal my thunder? Please! If I had thunder.. I'd prolly ASK you to steal it. :P:

I'm sure your hair is beautiful. God gave it to you.. it must compliment you. I think everyone looks better with their natural color than any color they give themselves. .. I've never highlighted or dyed my hair for that very reason. ^_^

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[quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1154861' date='Jan 2 2007, 07:38 PM']
:lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks, Sister!

With the order I am interested in, no one ever sees your hair after investiture.. not even the other sisters. I don't think I would be too worried about it after investiture because .. I've given it up! And you don't see ANY of the sisters' hair. It's all covered. I really don't know how they go about cutting their hair.. but I do know that no one ever sees it. So I guess they cut their own. :unsure: I'm sure it's lovely. :lol:
[/quote]

oh NO. maybe i should re-consider discerning for the CFR's! my hair is CRAZY. i'd never be able to cut my own. it's big and red and curly. :pinch:
i would post a picture, but i'm not sure how.


ps: i wouldn't really stop discerning cos of that . it could be kinda fun to try to cut this mane myself!! :topsy:

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franciscanheart

[quote name='stuckinamo' post='1154892' date='Jan 2 2007, 07:12 PM']
oh NO. maybe i should re-consider discerning for the CFR's! my hair is CRAZY. i'd never be able to cut my own. it's big and red and curly. :pinch:

i would post a picture, but i'm not sure how.

ps: i wouldn't really stop discerning cos of that . it could be kinda fun to try to cut this mane myself!! :topsy:
[/quote]
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Mine isn't wild.. but it would be if I tried to cut it myself! :blush:


btw, to upload images, use a sight like [url="http://www.flickr.com"]flickr[/url] or [url="http://www.photobucket.com"]photobucket[/url]. they provide links to your photos hosted on their servers. then when you want to post them, you use this code:
[code][img]list your photo's url here[/img][/code]
Photobucket provides you with a link already inside those tags. (I think it's the last one they provide.) That makes it easy to just copy and paste into a post here at phatmass. But really, it's not hard to add your own tags. ^_^

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Hughey, I'd grown my hair out the year before I entered the PCPA, and wanted it REALLY long before investiture . My hair grows incredibly fast. It's curly and crazy. It's ALSO almost completely grey. . .an Italian thing. I got my first grey at 17. Anyway, I'd let it grow and grow, and then finally this past month, after not being able to do anything with it besides braiding it or tossing it in a pony tail, I had a foot cut off. Everyone pretty much freaked! Now however, it's REALLY curly because all that weight isn't bogging it down. And yet, I HAVE to do my hair every day, because if I don't I look like I have bed head. I'm in this funk right now. . thinking about ceasing all the dyeing and seeing what it looks au naturel. I've seen some incredibly beautiful women, with grey hair and thought about it myself. However. . .my mother's upset. She thinks that having a 'grey' daughter, it'll make HER look older! :rolleyes:

Hair grows back, and esp if you aren't entering right away, your hair will be long again, before investiture!

Pax et bonum!

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