Belinda's Update.

[AccountDeleted]

Belinda

You are trying to make God into an image that is acceptable to you, so you have allowed yourself to believe in an Egyptian mother goddess. In light of all your recent hurts, this is perfectly understandable psychologically, but in time, hopefully, you will come to realize that God is who He is, and is not our image of Him. If He has allowed you to suffer, it is only because He loves you so much that He has used this means to try to draw you closer to Him. I see your rejection of Him as just your own way of telling Him how much you are hurting, and how much you need Him, but you are afraid to let Him in because sometimes His love is overwhelming in its intensity. The minute that you let yourself dare to trust Him again, He will be there, waiting to embrace you.

I don't believe that you are lost, just in denial. I will pray that the Holy Spirit opens your heart to the abundance of love that Jesus has for you, and that you let Him embrace you again, and take away all that pain and hurt.

God bless you always.

[bmb144]

*sigh*

*pauses for a moment to gather thoughts*

I understand that a number of you maybe more than a little stunned.
If you have not been reading the thread on transmud, I would ask you too.

I have been through a life changing, faith shattering experience. An experience that brought me to the point of death, quite literally. I have needed some very serious counseling to even get to this point.

I had two choices in this....1) was to hide what I am, play dumb and lie to all of you. 2) was to be upfront and say hey this is where I am at and be open. I chose 2.

If anyone would care to PM me, I will answer your questions, openly honestly and truthfully. I will not answer them in an open forum like this out of respect to this forum, its purpose and the mods.

I'm not here to flame, be disrespectful or act in any manner that is not correct.

But something has been said here I must address-

With greatest respect, Sr Mary Catharine..... I would NEVER disrespect the ones you serve and love. Your Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit are names that I respect and hold in affection. I love Mother Mary to bits, heck.....my birthday is on Our Lady of Fatima, its not like I can avoid her and Saints Michael and Benedict still rock.

While you do not agree with my path I would ask that you return that same respect. My Goddess Bast, to be more specific Bast-Mut, is not someone in my mind. She loves me dearly and I love Her a lot. *tears*

And that is all I have to say......

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I am sorry for your hurt, Belinda, but either there is Bast or there is Our Lady. There can't be both of them. If Bast existed, if any other 'god' existed, Christianity in general and Our Lady's life in particular would be totally meaningless. I think you know that, deep down. As for Sr Mary Catherine's words, her bluntness may have shocked you, but I don't think she said anything unkind. As a Dominican, truth is her mission. If she holds back on that, what kind of excuse for a nun would she be?

Annie gives wise advice. You are hurting so you have run away to somewhere where you don't have to hurt so much. But you can't leave problems behind - until they are addressed, until they are dealt with, you will carry them with you for the rest of your life. I know. I moved three and a half thousand miles to escape from my problems at one point - and what did I find? They were hiding in the cupboards of my new home. Sooner or later you will encounter a lot of pain at your new place of worship. And if you're not careful that experience could pitch you into atheism outright. I don't think you realise it, but you're walking a thin tightrope.

God bless you and Mary keep you.

[thessalonian]

[quote]My Goddess Bast, to be more specific Bast-Mut, is not someone in my mind. She loves me dearly and I love Her a lot. *tears*[/quote]

Sorry to say this but if your (g) goddess bast is anything she is a demon from hell and you are being devoured by a roaring lion. Sorry if this seems harsh but at times the truth is harsh. There is much to your story that you have not told and some of it involves sin. Tell it to a priest please.

[AlterDominicus]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1271043' date='May 11 2007, 08:46 AM']I am sorry for your hurt, Belinda, but either there is Bast or there is Our Lady. There can't be both of them. If Bast existed, if any other 'god' existed, Christianity in general and Our Lady's life in particular would be totally meaningless. I think you know that, deep down. As for Sr Mary Catherine's words, her bluntness may have shocked you, but I don't think she said anything unkind. As a Dominican, truth is her mission. If she holds back on that, what kind of excuse for a nun would she be?[/quote]

I agree, veritas = means truth.

What truth are you following Belinda?

And sad to say, unworthy sinner I am, I know what that is like, I went through it for 14 years [to say my life until I had enough spunk and heard Him, the way, the truth, and the life] thinking I was doing right, when I was really hiding from the world. I'll be praying for you.

[Sanvean]

Belinda,

I am terribly sorry to hear that you have had to struggle so much recently. Although I am not particularly familiar with Kemetic traditions, your situation still reminds me in many ways of some relatively recent events in my own life.

Over the course of three years, my life fell apart. In the end, I didn't even feel as thought I had God in my life. One day, I just gave up. I walked away from Christ and Catholicism, and returned to the religion of my childhood. You see, I grew up a Slavic Reconstructionist, and I really believed that I would finally find peace, healing, love and acceptance by returning to the deities of my youth. In many ways, I was right. The circumstances in my life did get better; at the least, I was happier, and a great deal more successful.

I had everything but Christ.

I am well aware of the fact that Bast-Mut is not a figment of your imagination, and that your relationship with her is absolutely real. Like me, perhaps, you will find that you have everything... but Christ.

Also like me, perhaps you will one day realize that nothing out there can possible compare to what He offers: Himself.

You know, I am sure, that I cannot condone your decision. I am sure that you are also aware of the fact that none of us can view Bast-Mut as you do. Frankly, I believe very much that you are being deceived, and will one day regret your choice. The only question is whether that will happen in this world or the next.

Still, you'll find no condemnation from me. It can be very hard on Christians when we see someone we care about walk away, and sometimes it can shake our faith. Make us feel helpless. Because of this, you might find some of your friends lashing out at you in a most uncharitable way. Please understand that, as painful as this can be, it is generally done with the best of intentions.

Anyway, take care; if, at any point, you need someone to talk to, my inbox will always be open.

May you find all the peace, love, healing and happiness possible in this world.... and may the light it offers one day bring you home.

To Christ.

Edited May 11, 2007 by Sanvean

[bmb144]

Good bye everyone. It seems I'm not welcome if I speak my truth, so I'm leaving.

[Starets]

Truth is not subjective. It simply IS. I am glad that our prayers for healing have been answered. I will continue to pray for your return to the Church, where the fulness of Truth resides, and your return to God, in whom there is no falsity.

[AccountDeleted]

I am the LORD your God,
who brought you [u]out [/u]
of the land of Egypt,
out of the house of bondage.

You shall have no other gods before me.

[Chaya]

[quote name='Staretz' post='1271739' date='May 12 2007, 10:27 AM'].... the Church, where the fulness of Truth resides, and your return to God, in whom there is no falsity.[/quote]

the fullness of Truth resides with G-d and G-d only. not in the church, or in any person.

[Chaya]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1271751' date='May 12 2007, 01:29 PM']I am the LORD your God,
who brought you [u]out [/u]
of the land of Egypt,
out of the house of bondage.

You shall have no other gods before me.[/quote]

how can you accuse her of idolatry when christians themselves are idolatrous? isn't this hypocrite?

and shouldn't you rather ask yourselves why so many people leave the church, christianity, if the fullness of life, love, truth and justice is supposed to be found there? blaming it all on a demon is pretty easy because it avoids needing to question oneself.

[Veritas]

[quote name='Chaya' post='1271879' date='May 12 2007, 11:13 AM']how can you accuse her of idolatry when christians themselves are idolatrous? isn't this hypocrite?

and shouldn't you rather ask yourselves why so many people leave the church, christianity, if the fullness of life, love, truth and justice is supposed to be found there? blaming it all on a demon is pretty easy because it avoids needing to question oneself.[/quote]

+

There are answers to all of these assertions. Time to move this to debate.

Edited May 12, 2007 by Veritas

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote]Good bye everyone. It seems I'm not welcome if I speak my truth, so I'm leaving.[/quote]

Belinda, you wrote that you had been made very unwelcome at your Catholic parish, and my heart ached for you then. But after reading that comment, I've now started to wonder what being 'unwelcome' in your language really means. Does it mean abusive behaviour, or does it mean people telling you that you can't believe whatever you like and do whatever you like and still claim to have 'truth'?

Realistically, what kind of welcome were you expecting for your new religion? We were all glad to see Belinda the person back here again. That was made quite clear. But it is unfair to expect us to make room for a pagan goddess alongside Jesus and offer it 'respect'. That is just not possible.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote]and shouldn't you rather ask yourselves why so many people leave the church, christianity, if the fullness of life, love, truth and justice is supposed to be found there?[/quote]

The counter-question is, "Why do so many people embrace Christianity?"

If you've followed Belinda's story in the Transmundane Lane, you will know some (partial) reasons why she left the church. In a nutshell, it was because being a Christian hurt too much and life was easier elsewhere. I'm not saying that this is the result of demonic involvement (it could just be the consequence of suffering) but it is not a good reason to go. Accepting Christianity is no guarantee that your life will always be a bed of roses. There is suffering involved in life, but the real question is where you face it with courage or whether you run away.

All this may sound harsh, but today I can't mince my words. Today I visited one of my close friends, a fifteen-year-old girl (known as 'Rachel' when I talk about her on PM) who suffered horrific and repeated sexual abuse for years, day in and day out. She developed chronic anorexia and severe problems with self-harm as a result, attempted suicide in early November 2005, and was rushed to hospital. She's been in psychiatric care ever since. Now she's facing the prospect of taking her rapist to court. I looked at her today, still too thin and still scarred, still afraid of the dark and still phobic of the camera in my handbag (her abuser used to take pictures of her naked), and marvelled at her courage. This hasn't been easy for her - ringing the ambulance on the day of the overdose was the hardest thing she'd ever done until the police interviewed her. But she has never, ever given up. And when I see a child in that state, it makes me realise that there is very little an adult can't accomplish if we really are determined to place all trust in God. Whenever a problem comes to me in my life, I am simply going to remember that Rachel never ran away. Faith and bravery are both choices and must be respected as such.

Edited May 12, 2007 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[BG45]

[quote]Good bye everyone. It seems I'm not welcome if I speak my truth, so I'm leaving.[/quote]

Ah, but you do seem quite welcome, with people wishing to understand what you are going through, who want to help you as they see it. I have followed your thread in Transmundane, and ached to hear all of it...but you must realize that here at least, people do care for you. They're just telling you something you don't particularly want to hear.