Lust, Pornography, And The "pornification" Of Women

[Innocent]

Dear Phamily,

The culture of lust is becoming more influential, powerful, and invasive each day.

We are becoming normalised to what we would previously have found shocking. Films are showing more explicit material each day, and this is encouraged as "art", "realism", "non-prudishness" and as various other things.

Advertisements very often use pictures of attractive women in provocative ways, even if the product being advertised has nothing to do with women.

The internet has only made the problem worse. Without stepping out of his house, anyone could easily get pornographic materials a thousand times worse that what one previously had to go to the neighbourhood adult video store to get.

This culture makes it very tempting for us males to look at ladies in an impure way, and then to follow it up in private with impure fantasies and acts.

The ultimate effect of these on men is that we stop thinking and behaving like gentlemen, and practising chivalry and thinking of a lady as a sister becomes very difficult. The respect for the Sacrament of Marriage declines. Both men and women are victims of this. But women are double victims, since they are also victimised by men.

What can we do to protect our purity and help our fellow-Catholics?

I have noticed that our Protestant brothers have taken many good steps in facing this problem directly, with one ministry, [url="http://xxxchurch.com/"][b][color="#ff0000"]XXXChurch[/color][/b][/url], even going to the extent of bringing Christianity into Pornography Conventions* and shows. Then there's the ministry called [url="http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/"][b][color="#0000ff"]Setting Captives Free[/color][/b][/url]†, which has many courses in breaking addictions, among them, sexual and pornographic addictions.

Two noteworthy Catholic ministries (what is the right term? I suppose it is "unofficial lay apostolate") that are tackling this problem are:

[url="http://www.trueknights.org/"][b][color="#2e8b57"]The True Knights [/color][/b][/url]‡

&

[url="http://www.saint-mike.org/csgsar/"][b][color="#9932cc"]The Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery[/color][/b][/url]


I have had my struggles with lust, and these forums have helped me much.


But among us Catholics, I feel that there is still a need for more action against this problem.

The important question we have to ask ourselves is: What can we do at the grassroots level?


It might be a good idea to start sexual addiction recovery programmes for those who struggle with this already, at the parish level. (Like the [url="http://www.sa.org/"][b][color="#006400"]SA[/color][/b][/url], but with a Catholic worldview, perhaps incorporating Ignatian spirituality? )

I'm not sure we youngsters would be able to play a big role in such endeavours. A more practical thing for us to do might be not to shy away from discussing this topic in our parish youth organisations or at any other time we are together with friends.

Perhaps the concept of "preserving our spiritual and physical virginity" could be given some emphasis in our youth organisations.

Also, priests should give more homilies on this subject. Pornographic lust is a silent demon in our midst, and it should be slayed.

What are your suggestions? How can we Catholics effectively combat the evil of the culture of Pornography?

[i]Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus![/i]

Yours in Christ,
Innocent

________________________________
[size=1]* Which reminds me, there is a Catholic group which prays and protests outside porn stores: [url="http://www.thekingsmen.us/"]THE KING'S MEN.[/url]

† Some Catholics I know have said that there is an anti-Catholic attitude in this course, but others have not come across it. I suppose it depends upon the mentality of the mentor assigned to the person taking the course.

‡ Ken Henderson, the founder of this apostolate, is in the process of setting up a structured plan to break free from the grip of lust. He recently attended Christopher West's [i]Theology of the Body Immersion Course[/i] and is planning to base his new plan on the TOTB. This apostolate has a forum. [url="http://www.trueknights.org/Forum/index.php"][b]CLICK HERE.[/b][/url][/size]

Edited September 16, 2007 by Innocent

[CatherineM]

I have often thought that one of the biggest problems our mobile society has is that when young people begin their families, they are often so far away from their parents and grandparents that they don't have the opportunity to "learn" how to be a parent. I was walking in the mall last week, and saw a young mother helping her daughter pick out back to school clothes. I was shocked when I saw what this 8 year old girl was trying on. I went up to the mom, and said, "I remember when I had to do this with my boys. Wow, I am so glad that I had boys. They are easier to buy clothes for. I can imagine how hard it must be for you to try to explain to your daughter why she shouldn't wear something like that in public, let alone to school. It must be scary having daughters."

When I said it, I could have kicked myself at first. I knew I was interfering with a complete stranger's relationship with her daughter. I expected her to at the very least yell something at me, and then I saw this light come on in her eyes, and she turned and told her daughter that they should try something else on. It was as if it never occurred to her that her daughter could be targeted for wearing something that made her look like a prostitute. The generation that grew up learning how to dress from Mtv is now dressing another generation.

I also read yesterday that the new James bond actor has agreed to do full frontal nudity in the next Bond movie. I guess if Bart Simpson can do it, they will all agree now.

[thessalonian]

The Christopher West DVD series, Created and Redeemed is an excellent antidote for these problems. I just ran an 8 week study based on the DVD's at our parish and it was well received by those who took it. About 70 people or so made it through the whole series. It explains John Paul II's Theology of the Body in easy to understand laymen's terms. I highly recommend that if anyone truly wants to do something about these problems they look in to this DVD series avaliable at www.christopherwest.com and think about hosting one of these studies. You don't have to be a theology fo the body expert to do it.

Edited September 17, 2007 by thessalonian

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1386653' date='Sep 16 2007, 05:39 PM']I have often thought that one of the biggest problems our mobile society has is that when young people begin their families, they are often so far away from their parents and grandparents that they don't have the opportunity to "learn" how to be a parent. I was walking in the mall last week, and saw a young mother helping her daughter pick out back to school clothes. I was shocked when I saw what this 8 year old girl was trying on. I went up to the mom, and said, "I remember when I had to do this with my boys. Wow, I am so glad that I had boys. They are easier to buy clothes for. I can imagine how hard it must be for you to try to explain to your daughter why she shouldn't wear something like that in public, let alone to school. It must be scary having daughters."

When I said it, I could have kicked myself at first. I knew I was interfering with a complete stranger's relationship with her daughter. I expected her to at the very least yell something at me, and then I saw this light come on in her eyes, and she turned and told her daughter that they should try something else on. It was as if it never occurred to her that her daughter could be targeted for wearing something that made her look like a prostitute. The generation that grew up learning how to dress from Mtv is now dressing another generation.

I also read yesterday that the new James bond actor has agreed to do full frontal nudity in the next Bond movie. I guess if Bart Simpson can do it, they will all agree now.[/quote]
There is a definite lack of grandmas in the world. There are so many people out there who haven't a clue, and they look to the media for guidance because they have no available family. Its the blind leading the blind.

[thessalonian]

I should add that this is a cultural problem. A method of Catholic evangelization is to take the culture of civilazations and transform them. This is the beauty of JP II's Theology of the Body. It hits the american culture right between the eyes with truth and we know the truth sets men free. God has allowed our sexual disfuction to sink to unbelievable lows and in this time rose up a man who took the challenge to redeem this culture by the cross. Christopher Wests explanation of this teaching is A1. I truly believe that wounded man when he sees Catholics living by the light of this truth that their bodies were created in the image and likeness of God and have their sexuality raised up, they will repent of the evil they are doing and society will be transformed. The new springtime will occur. This will not happen overnight but JPII and Christopher West give us a place to start. An answer to "what do we do?". There is great hope!

[thessalonian]

CatholicM

Thank you for this:
"When I said it, I could have kicked myself at first. I knew I was interfering with a complete stranger's relationship with her daughter. I expected her to at the very least yell something at me, and then I saw this light come on in her eyes, and she turned and told her daughter that they should try something else on. It was as if it never occurred to her that her daughter could be targeted for wearing something that made her look like a prostitute"

This is exactly what I am talking about when I say wounded society will embrace theology of the body. I have even been thinking of setting up a TOB study at a local community center and going to the malls to recruite people to go. Your email tells me I might have some succes.

[Innocent]

Dear Thessalonian,

If I understand you right, you are saying that starting TOTB study groups at the parish level will be a concrete step at the grassroots level in the right direction.

[quote name='thessalonian' post='1386813' date='Sep 17 2007, 09:14 AM']I have even been thinking of setting up a TOB study at a local community center and going to the malls to recruite people to go. Your email tells me I might have some succes.[/quote]

That's a great idea, thessalonian. You should really implement this. Please tell us how it turns out when you've got the group up and running.

Yours in Christ,
Innocent

Edited September 17, 2007 by Innocent

[thessalonian]

[quote name='Innocent' post='1387036' date='Sep 17 2007, 11:53 AM']Dear Thessalonian,

If I understand you right, you are saying that starting TOTB study groups at the parish level will be a concrete step at the grassroots level in the right direction.[/quote]

Yes. I was a student in a study group last year and was so impressed that I fascilitated one at another parish this year. I got our men's bible study group to purchase the CDs. The CD's for Created and Redeemed are about 100 bucks but maybe you have a faith formation director or a knights of columbus or men's group that will help you purchase them. Maybe the pastor would be up for buying them as well if you want to fascilitate the study. It's easy to do. You do need to have signups and all. I will be glad to "consult" for a nominal nonexistent fee (maybe some prayers for me and my family)
if anyone wants to get one going.

[quote]That's a great idea, thessalonian. You should really implement this. Please tell us how it turns out when you've got the group up and running.

Yours in Christ,
Innocent[/quote]

I've already started looking in to it. I don't think you have to be catholic to understand that our society is way off base with regard to sex. The human heart knows that things are not right. I have a woman who is divorced living behind me. She told my wife one day she went to a college football game and was bothered by the cheerleaders attire and dance. Now this surprized me because I'll just say I didn't consider this woman to be overly moral. The world knows and things are so out of whack I think society is ready for a revolt in the other direction from the 60's free love nonsense. George Will says Theology of the Body is a time bomb waiting to go off and I agree. Catholics need to be evangelized with it first and foremost as it involved nearly every aspect of Church teaching from the sacrements to marriage and family to the trinity. I would like to see it used in marriage prep.

Edited September 17, 2007 by thessalonian

[PapaHilarious]

Great topic. It couldn't be more current. Along with abortion and contraception, pornography is one of the most destructive elements of the culture of death today.

I touch on the issue in my book [url="http://www.lulu.com/content/861316"]On the Death of My Father: Finding Community through Faith, Hope, and Love[/url]. Though much is to be said about the obvious harmful effects on men, here is an excerpt I quote from a June 2007 AP article about women and pornography:

[quote]Many agree that the [pervasiveness of pornography] has had a particularly strong influence on young women -- in some cases, taking shape as an unapologetic embracing of sexuality and exhibitionism. ... But many wonder if it really is empowering, especially for younger women and girls who try to emulate what's already on the Web. …

A 2007 report from the American Psychological Association compiled the findings of myriad studies, showing that the sexualization of young women and girls, in particular, can hurt them in many ways. Problems can include anything from low self-esteem and eating disorders to depression and anxiety. …

[Therapist Michael Simon] sees a sexual disconnect with girls who exhibit provocative behavior they're not ready for… ‘It doesn't have anything to do with their sexual pleasure,’ says Simon. ‘It has to do with pleasing somebody else -- the grasping for attention.[/quote]

[Innocent]

Has any of you tried to convince a friend (especially a non-religious friend) that pornography and lust are "not OK" and that they are actually harmful?

Has any of you had success doing this?

[PapaHilarious]

[quote name='Innocent' post='1387566' date='Sep 17 2007, 08:47 PM']Has any of you tried to convince a friend (especially a non-religious friend) that pornography and lust are "not OK" and that they are actually harmful?

Has any of you had success doing this?[/quote]

It's definitely a touchy subject. If you scroll up and read the AP article I quoted, you'll see that secular society is beginning to notice some of the problems associated with pornography and lust. However, there is little agreement outside of Christianity (and some other religions, to be fair) as to the inherent evil involved. All the world is concerned about is limiting the negative consequences... For example, we can all agree that STDs (or STIs or whatever) are unpleasant. Society's solution, of course, is not to stop the behavior that leads to the consequence because that would infringe on "personal freedom." So we keep people promiscuous, but make sex "safer" and "educate."

I actually draw a comparison in my book to the way modern society currently views mental illness and depression. Because we cannot support God or religion or any sort of absolute good, we are entirely handcuffed in our ability to make people better. All we can do is treat symptoms. After all, if we cannot agree on what makes us happy (ie the purpose of existence) then how could we ever truly help others?

It's pretty much the same issue with pornography and lust. No one wants to declare absolutely that the root behaviors are damaging, only the results. It's kind of like boycotting bullets, yet having no problem with people have guns.

Anyway, as far as the experience of dealing with people that are not of a Christian perspective, I am very cautious and see where they feel comfortable leading the conversation. It doesn't typically take much to get someone to at least agree that the exploitation of women's bodies is wrong, but people tend to draw their own crooked lines in the sand as to how much nudity is okay, how much lust is okay, etc, etc. I always find it useful to quote non-religious sources like the APA and such, as people foolishly lend them credence.

[thessalonian]

[quote name='Innocent' post='1387566' date='Sep 17 2007, 10:47 PM']Has any of you tried to convince a friend (especially a non-religious friend) that pornography and lust are "not OK" and that they are actually harmful?

Has any of you had success doing this?[/quote]

Mr. West deals heavily with the issue of lust in his created and redeemed series. I have not had the opportunity to put it in to practice yet except with my kids who were open to what I have to say.

[CatherineM]

No one who lives in my neighborhood would question about the damage such stuff does to our society. There are young girls selling themselves on the street corners, including the one outside our church. A serial killer picked up one half a block from the church's front door. I pass fliers with her picture on it on the way choir practice. If men weren't in search of their next "lust high" there would be no money for these girls to be on the street. On nights when it is -20 or -30 degrees, I just want to take them home with me, but know I can't.

[Innocent]

Papa,

What is the APA? I googled for it and got "American Psychological Association". Is that right?

[Innocent]

Dear Thessalonian,

I think it's great that your'e teaching your chldren about purity so young.

If you ever talk to a friend about this, what would you say?

Yours,
Innocent