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friendofJPII

Non-traditional Wedding Dresses

Non-traditional wedding dresses  

119 members have voted

  1. 1. What do you think of the current trend to add color to wedding dresses (a blue sash, red embroidery) in addition to hiking up the length (mid-calf)?

    • I like the traditional white dress
      62
    • I'm fine with the white dress with a splash of color
      30
    • color should not matter at all
      24


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StColette    48
StColette
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604408' date='Jul 21 2008, 10:06 AM']If white has no religious meaning, then why are babies clothed in a white bapitismal garment? Why do little girls wear white for thier first holy communion? We were encouraged to wear white for our confirmation. Maybe I'll get used to it eventually, but I'm sad to see the tradition of the long, white, elegant wedding dress go. Although, I think Our Lord and Our Lady are probaby more bothered by the strapless/and/or very fitted gowns worn nowadays.[/quote]

I didn't say that white didn't have religious meaning. White does have religious meaning, I mean look at the priest's vestments on certain days throughout the liturgical year. The only rite within the Church for a sacrament that requires the person to wear white is after a child is baptized. In the Byzantine Rite the infant wears the Baptismal garment for 8 days and then on the 8th there is a rite to remove it. I don't think a Bride could last that long in a wedding dress lol. The point is the Church does not require that a woman wear white on her wedding day nor is it a strong enough tradition historically to demand that a woman do so. It really should not matter what you are wearing on that day as long as it is tasteful. That day isn't about your wedding dress; it's about the Sacrament of Matrimony. When Micah and I got engaged, I told him I would marry him in a potato sack if I had to because the dress really doesn't matter.

Did a little research, and the white garment at baptism signifies according to the CCC that the person baptized has ‘put on Christ,’ has risen with Christ. Again Baptism is the only sacrament that I have found that a white garment is mentioned as being worn according to the Rite of the Church.

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friendofJPII    0
friendofJPII
[i]When Micah and I got engaged, I told him I would marry him in a potato sack if I had to because the dress really doesn't matter.[/i]

Yes it does. The same arguement could be made for those who come to mass dressed like they are going to the beach. I believe the even the poorest woman can find a nice, elegant, and modest dress to wear on her wedding day. It doesn't have to be new. And if the couple is so financially strapped that they can't afford proper attire, I doubt they are in financial position to get married, anyway.

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StColette    48
StColette
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604440' date='Jul 21 2008, 11:22 AM']Yes it does. The same arguement could be made for those who come to mass dressed like they are going to the beach. I believe the even the poorest woman can find a nice, elegant, and modest dress to wear on her wedding day. It doesn't have to be new. And if the couple is so financially strapped that they can't afford proper attire, I doubt they are in financial position to get married, anyway.[/quote]

I'll just leave it at this. On your wedding day it really isn't going to matter to you what you are wearing. I could have cared less if I were wearing burnt orange or white. I believe many women would share the same opinion. That in the end, on that day it really didn't matter.

The point is the Church doesn't demand that we wear white or any color for that matter. It does demand that it be something tasteful and modest though some priests are more lax with this than others.

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Lil Red    10,168
Lil Red
+J.M.J.+
[quote name='StColette' post='1604398' date='Jul 21 2008, 07:46 AM']Color doesn't matter and it should not. Many women who can't afford the nice white dress have gotten married and have had beautiful wedding ceremonies in clothes that were much less elegant. And just because they weren't wearing white or weren't in a nice white dress didn't make them seem anyless pure or spotless. Believe me on your wedding day you'll forget all about the dress. It was wonderful getting dressed up but even more wonderful giving and receiving a Sacrament.[/quote]
well said. :))

[quote name='StColette' post='1604430' date='Jul 21 2008, 09:01 AM']That day isn't about your wedding dress; it's about the Sacrament of Matrimony.[/quote]
:yes: :clap:

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homeschoolmom    3,609
homeschoolmom
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604154' date='Jul 20 2008, 07:20 PM']it's the bride's special day, but I don't think that gives her the license to wear what ever she wants. I think she needs to respect tradition.[/quote]
I wouldn't even call wearing white a tradition (in the Catholic sense), but more of a custom. The "tradition" is less than 200 years old and was begun to show off having enough wealth to justify a dress worn only once. It was pretty much only followed by the elite until the 20th century. I would prefer a bride choose a modest colored dress to an immodest white one any day.

It is also only customary (not manditory) that little girls wear white at First Communion. The church does not mandate these things.

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friendofJPII    0
friendofJPII
[quote name='StColette' post='1604447' date='Jul 21 2008, 10:33 AM']I'll just leave it at this. On your wedding day it really isn't going to matter to you what you are wearing. I could have cared less if I were wearing burnt orange or white. I believe many women would share the same opinion. That in the end, on that day it really didn't matter.

The point is the Church doesn't demand that we wear white or any color for that matter. It does demand that it be something tasteful and modest though some priests are more lax with this than others.[/quote]


I agree that the wedding isn't soley about the dress, and that many people spend too much time planning their wedding instead of planning their marriage. However, I do not agree that the dress does not matter at all. What we wear says something about us, especially what we wear to such an important day. Edited by friendofJPII

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let_go_let_God    124
let_go_let_God
You also need to look at people of other cultures. A white wedding dress is an American and European custom. For some cultures white symbolizes death. A white wedding dress is more a cultural aspect rather than a church aspect. My great grandmother was a Finnish immigrant and her wedding dress was just a simple dress that she had.

God bless-
LGLG

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StColette    48
StColette
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604461' date='Jul 21 2008, 11:59 AM']What we wear says something about us, especially what we wear to such an important day.[/quote]

Yes, what we wear can say something about us, but I believe this applies more toward modesty than to a particular color. If I had been wearing a blue or pink dress as my wedding dress my husband and family would still have found me beautiful and still have known that I was pure of heart because of whom I am and not because of what I was wearing.

[quote]You also need to look at people of other cultures. A white wedding dress is an American and European custom.[/quote]

Exactly, the Korean wedding gowns are very beautiful and very brightly colored.

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Barbarus    1
Barbarus
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604461' date='Jul 21 2008, 11:59 AM']I agree that the wedding isn't soley about the dress, and that many people spend too much time planning their wedding instead of planning their marriage. However, I do not agree that the dress does not matter at all. What we wear says something about us, especially what we wear to such an important day.[/quote]
I agree that the dress communicates something, just as in a sense all clothing does. And we need to pay attention to what we are communicating. We are sacramental people, who believe that spiritual truths are revealed in and through our bodies and the physical realm.

However, this is an area in which (as several people have pointed out) the church has allowed for prudential actions. There is no ritually prescribed manner of dressing for weddings, and frankly the white symbolism for a wedding is different than the white symbolism for a baptism. We don't, for example, require grooms to wear white to symbolize their purity of heart -- this is a tradition only for the bride. The white for weddings first and foremost symbolizes sexual purity, which in previous generations was prized far more highly than it is today. Not that we shouldn't prize virginity, but the fact of the matter is that as a culture we do not. And, there is nothing wrong with a couple choosing to exemplify other virtues or spiritual truths which are equally important.

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friendofJPII    0
friendofJPII
I agree that modesty is more important than color. But you can't take a look at some of the gowns on David's Bridal and not be disturbed. Perhaps "the Italian" in me clings to tradition, and the white wedding dress has been a tradition for as long as I can remember, for as long as my grandmother can remember for that matter. The emphasis on bridal wear these days is on "individuality" (i.e. on self) and it is this selfishness that is causing many marriages to fail. I guess I see the move towards colored (and in many cases, immodest dresses) as a way of our culture throwing out all bastions of tradition and instead espousing a "do whatever you want" attitude.

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StColette    48
StColette
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604508' date='Jul 21 2008, 01:00 PM']I agree that modesty is more important than color. But you can't take a look at some of the gowns on David's Bridal and not be disturbed. Perhaps "the Italian" in me clings to tradition, and the white wedding dress has been a tradition for as long as I can remember, for as long as my grandmother can remember for that matter. The emphasis on bridal wear these days is on "individuality" (i.e. on self) and it is this selfishness that is causing many marriages to fail. I guess I see the move towards colored (and in many cases, immodest dresses) as a way of our culture throwing out all bastions of tradition and instead espousing a "do whatever you want" attitude.[/quote]

David's Bridal does have some very immodest dresses, but I found my dress there and my main concern was modesty in respect for myself, my husband, and God. I don't think individuality is a bad thing especially in clothing, as long as it stays tasteful. I mean, my friends and I dress very chaste but we each have our own taste in clothing. But I don't believe that one can equate individuality to the selfishness that is causing many marriages to fail. Personal taste in clothing is not the same type of "on self" focus that causes marriage issues. My husband has way different taste in clothing than I do but that doesn't cause us to be selfish toward one another. Again, I know that the tradition of the white dress has only been around for 200 or less years, but that does not mean that people who decide not to wear white are trying to throw out tradition. Before the white wedding dress came onto the scene most dresses were very elaborate and had lots of color. How are we not to know that when the "white dress" became the new big deal that people did not feel the same you do about white dresses in their losing the wearing of color in their wedding dresses. There could have been women just as opinionated as you are about white dresses for the colored dresses of the past. The fact is the color of the dress has nothing to do with the Sacrament, unless it's baptism.

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puellapaschalis    566
puellapaschalis
A wedding dress which is not white is not ipso facto immodest. There are plenty of white dresses out there which are scandalous - including some long ones - and many more coloured dresses that are wonderfully beautiful.
Let's not even start on the white trouser suits some wear for their weddings either....

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friendofJPII    0
friendofJPII
[i]The fact is the color of the dress has nothing to do with the Sacrament, unless it's baptism[/i].

I disagree. Even if the white dress isn't mandated, I still think it is beautiful. I understand that individual styles differ, but you have to admit that is was kinda nice that most Western women adhered to the same custom of wearing white on their wedding day.

How do you define tasteful, exactly? I think it is rather sad that I will have to fly to Utah to look for a dress when I get married, because almost all the dresses in stores these days are strapless/ultra-fitted/immodest or colored.

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StColette    48
StColette
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604696' date='Jul 21 2008, 05:56 PM'][i]The fact is the color of the dress has nothing to do with the Sacrament, unless it's baptism[/i].

I disagree. Even if the white dress isn't mandated, I still think it is beautiful. I understand that individual styles differ, but you have to admit that is was kinda nice that most Western women adhered to the same custom of wearing white on their wedding day.

How do you define tasteful, exactly? I think it is rather sad that I will have to fly to Utah to look for a dress when I get married, because almost all the dresses in stores these days are strapless/ultra-fitted/immodest or colored.[/quote]

You may find white beautiful but others may not. It is nice that most western women adhere to the same custom of wearing white on their wedding day. It would be even greater though if they would adhere to saving themselves for marriage. I understand that mistakes happen and many have repented and turned away from doing such things. But those who don't find anything wrong with having sex before marriage and do so are what really irritate me. I would rather see a woman save herself for marriage and wearing bright yellow than to see a woman continue to lead a life of sexual sin and wear white. It's not the color of the dress the bride is wearing that is important it's the type of person the bride is. If people know her to be holy and chaste then that will be portrayed no matter what color she wears.

Tasteful = not low cut, not too fitted, straps, sleeves, or a shawl to cover shoulders. Again I don't considered colored to matter, if it did then my husband should have been wearing a white tux. I thought about having a blue sash for Mary, but could not find a dress I liked with a blue sash.

I had a hard time choosing a dress because I wanted it to be tasteful and modest. The color really didn't matter. In order to help the process of choosing a dress I took along 6 other Franciscan Univ. girls with me to help me pick out a dress. They are all very modest young ladies, many of them belong to Phatmass. I found a wonderful dress at David's Bridal. It wasn't low cut meaning no cleavage was showing. It wasn't very form fitting. The top was a little tight in order to keep everything in place lol but not too form fitting. The dress was originally strapless, but I bought cap sleeves from David's Bridal and had them put on myself. My brother-in-law actually sewed them on for me lol he can out sew most the women in my family. I have a thing about wanting shoulders covered while in Church.

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Lil Red    10,168
Lil Red
[quote name='StColette' post='1606009' date='Jul 23 2008, 10:12 AM']It would be even greater though if they would adhere to saving themselves for marriage. I understand that mistakes happen and many have repented and turned away from doing such things. But those who don't find anything wrong with having sex before marriage and do so are what really irritate me. I would rather see a woman save herself for marriage and wearing bright yellow than to see a woman continue to lead a life of sexual sin and wear white. It's not the color of the dress the bride is wearing that is important it's the type of person the bride is. If people know her to be holy and chaste then that will be portrayed no matter what color she wears.[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
:clapping: well said.

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jmjtina    32
jmjtina
[quote name='StColette' post='1606009' date='Jul 23 2008, 10:12 AM']It's not the color of the dress the bride is wearing that is important it's the type of person the bride is.[/quote]


:cheers: Here, Here! :cheers:

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cmotherofpirl    1,733
cmotherofpirl
[quote name='CatherineM' post='1604152' date='Jul 20 2008, 08:16 PM']Mine was white, but had trim in green and gold. It was a celtic style gown, so it was appropriate. I guess I don't mind a little color. It's the bride's special day. What is special to her should be the only thing that matters.[/quote]
YES. If I ever get married I will be wearing GREEN!!!! :rolleyes:

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friendofJPII    0
friendofJPII
Perhaps I'm a bit paranoid, but I can't help but think that many of the fashion designers have a "kick tradition (and traditional values) in the butt" attitude when they design purple wedding dresses. I totally agree with you that modesty is more important than color, and that a woman's purity is not determined soley by the color of her dress. However, I also don't think a man's choice of dress for his wedding could ever be compared to a woman's. God made us physically beautiful for a reason...there are many bridal images in Scripture that speak about how women should be adorned for their husbands, thus I think a woman's choice of dress is of more importance than a man's (although I'm not saying that a man's dress is not important at all). Also because marriage is such a sacred sacrament, I believe a standard of dress that is unique from other items in her wardrobe is appropriate. These days, it is difficult to tell the difference between a prom dress, a summer sun dress, and a bridal gown. And I'm saddened by that.

I realize that my feelings stem from personal preference and not directly from Catholic teaching, and that there are more important issues that surround a marriage (and the survival thereof) than the color of the bride's dress. If you knew me, you would know I'm not a vain person and I rarely put a large emphasis on externals. Perhaps I will get used to this "colored-wedding dress thing" as time goes on, but right now I'm bothered by it. Edited by friendofJPII

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Lil Red    10,168
Lil Red
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1606494' date='Jul 23 2008, 04:12 PM'](although I'm not saying that a man's dress is not important at all).[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
:bigshock:

i hope men aren't wearing dresses to weddings nowadays!! that's going too far!!

:bigshock:


:P

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