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friendofJPII

Non-traditional Wedding Dresses

Non-traditional wedding dresses  

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StColette
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604508' date='Jul 21 2008, 01:00 PM']I agree that modesty is more important than color. But you can't take a look at some of the gowns on David's Bridal and not be disturbed. Perhaps "the Italian" in me clings to tradition, and the white wedding dress has been a tradition for as long as I can remember, for as long as my grandmother can remember for that matter. The emphasis on bridal wear these days is on "individuality" (i.e. on self) and it is this selfishness that is causing many marriages to fail. I guess I see the move towards colored (and in many cases, immodest dresses) as a way of our culture throwing out all bastions of tradition and instead espousing a "do whatever you want" attitude.[/quote]

David's Bridal does have some very immodest dresses, but I found my dress there and my main concern was modesty in respect for myself, my husband, and God. I don't think individuality is a bad thing especially in clothing, as long as it stays tasteful. I mean, my friends and I dress very chaste but we each have our own taste in clothing. But I don't believe that one can equate individuality to the selfishness that is causing many marriages to fail. Personal taste in clothing is not the same type of "on self" focus that causes marriage issues. My husband has way different taste in clothing than I do but that doesn't cause us to be selfish toward one another. Again, I know that the tradition of the white dress has only been around for 200 or less years, but that does not mean that people who decide not to wear white are trying to throw out tradition. Before the white wedding dress came onto the scene most dresses were very elaborate and had lots of color. How are we not to know that when the "white dress" became the new big deal that people did not feel the same you do about white dresses in their losing the wearing of color in their wedding dresses. There could have been women just as opinionated as you are about white dresses for the colored dresses of the past. The fact is the color of the dress has nothing to do with the Sacrament, unless it's baptism.

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puellapaschalis
A wedding dress which is not white is not ipso facto immodest. There are plenty of white dresses out there which are scandalous - including some long ones - and many more coloured dresses that are wonderfully beautiful.
Let's not even start on the white trouser suits some wear for their weddings either....

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friendofJPII
[i]The fact is the color of the dress has nothing to do with the Sacrament, unless it's baptism[/i].

I disagree. Even if the white dress isn't mandated, I still think it is beautiful. I understand that individual styles differ, but you have to admit that is was kinda nice that most Western women adhered to the same custom of wearing white on their wedding day.

How do you define tasteful, exactly? I think it is rather sad that I will have to fly to Utah to look for a dress when I get married, because almost all the dresses in stores these days are strapless/ultra-fitted/immodest or colored.

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StColette
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604696' date='Jul 21 2008, 05:56 PM'][i]The fact is the color of the dress has nothing to do with the Sacrament, unless it's baptism[/i].

I disagree. Even if the white dress isn't mandated, I still think it is beautiful. I understand that individual styles differ, but you have to admit that is was kinda nice that most Western women adhered to the same custom of wearing white on their wedding day.

How do you define tasteful, exactly? I think it is rather sad that I will have to fly to Utah to look for a dress when I get married, because almost all the dresses in stores these days are strapless/ultra-fitted/immodest or colored.[/quote]

You may find white beautiful but others may not. It is nice that most western women adhere to the same custom of wearing white on their wedding day. It would be even greater though if they would adhere to saving themselves for marriage. I understand that mistakes happen and many have repented and turned away from doing such things. But those who don't find anything wrong with having sex before marriage and do so are what really irritate me. I would rather see a woman save herself for marriage and wearing bright yellow than to see a woman continue to lead a life of sexual sin and wear white. It's not the color of the dress the bride is wearing that is important it's the type of person the bride is. If people know her to be holy and chaste then that will be portrayed no matter what color she wears.

Tasteful = not low cut, not too fitted, straps, sleeves, or a shawl to cover shoulders. Again I don't considered colored to matter, if it did then my husband should have been wearing a white tux. I thought about having a blue sash for Mary, but could not find a dress I liked with a blue sash.

I had a hard time choosing a dress because I wanted it to be tasteful and modest. The color really didn't matter. In order to help the process of choosing a dress I took along 6 other Franciscan Univ. girls with me to help me pick out a dress. They are all very modest young ladies, many of them belong to Phatmass. I found a wonderful dress at David's Bridal. It wasn't low cut meaning no cleavage was showing. It wasn't very form fitting. The top was a little tight in order to keep everything in place lol but not too form fitting. The dress was originally strapless, but I bought cap sleeves from David's Bridal and had them put on myself. My brother-in-law actually sewed them on for me lol he can out sew most the women in my family. I have a thing about wanting shoulders covered while in Church.

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Lil Red
[quote name='StColette' post='1606009' date='Jul 23 2008, 10:12 AM']It would be even greater though if they would adhere to saving themselves for marriage. I understand that mistakes happen and many have repented and turned away from doing such things. But those who don't find anything wrong with having sex before marriage and do so are what really irritate me. I would rather see a woman save herself for marriage and wearing bright yellow than to see a woman continue to lead a life of sexual sin and wear white. It's not the color of the dress the bride is wearing that is important it's the type of person the bride is. If people know her to be holy and chaste then that will be portrayed no matter what color she wears.[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
:clapping: well said.

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jmjtina
[quote name='StColette' post='1606009' date='Jul 23 2008, 10:12 AM']It's not the color of the dress the bride is wearing that is important it's the type of person the bride is.[/quote]


:cheers: Here, Here! :cheers:

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cmotherofpirl
[quote name='CatherineM' post='1604152' date='Jul 20 2008, 08:16 PM']Mine was white, but had trim in green and gold. It was a celtic style gown, so it was appropriate. I guess I don't mind a little color. It's the bride's special day. What is special to her should be the only thing that matters.[/quote]
YES. If I ever get married I will be wearing GREEN!!!! :rolleyes:

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friendofJPII
Perhaps I'm a bit paranoid, but I can't help but think that many of the fashion designers have a "kick tradition (and traditional values) in the butt" attitude when they design purple wedding dresses. I totally agree with you that modesty is more important than color, and that a woman's purity is not determined soley by the color of her dress. However, I also don't think a man's choice of dress for his wedding could ever be compared to a woman's. God made us physically beautiful for a reason...there are many bridal images in Scripture that speak about how women should be adorned for their husbands, thus I think a woman's choice of dress is of more importance than a man's (although I'm not saying that a man's dress is not important at all). Also because marriage is such a sacred sacrament, I believe a standard of dress that is unique from other items in her wardrobe is appropriate. These days, it is difficult to tell the difference between a prom dress, a summer sun dress, and a bridal gown. And I'm saddened by that.

I realize that my feelings stem from personal preference and not directly from Catholic teaching, and that there are more important issues that surround a marriage (and the survival thereof) than the color of the bride's dress. If you knew me, you would know I'm not a vain person and I rarely put a large emphasis on externals. Perhaps I will get used to this "colored-wedding dress thing" as time goes on, but right now I'm bothered by it. Edited by friendofJPII

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Lil Red
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1606494' date='Jul 23 2008, 04:12 PM'](although I'm not saying that a man's dress is not important at all).[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
:bigshock:

i hope men aren't wearing dresses to weddings nowadays!! that's going too far!!

:bigshock:


:P

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BlueRose
[quote]This was not the original point of choosing a white dress - rather, it showed that the woman was wealthy enough to buy a dress that wouldn't be worn again.[/quote]

YES. I was waiting for someone to point this out. Traditionally, impoverished people did not wear clothes that were solidly white because it would have become dirty through everyday life; it was not a practical color for a garment, and to purchase a dress in this color specifically for a wedding day signified wealth and status.

[quote]If white has no religious meaning, then why are babies clothed in a white bapitismal garment? Why do little girls wear white for thier first holy communion? We were encouraged to wear white for our confirmation.[/quote]

I think you may be taking offense to a practice that needs not be offensive in the first place. Nobody here is saying that white is NOT a symbol in the church. You're right - it is. But you seem to be missing the remarks about how the wedding gown, for whatever reason, is not included in this tradition by any official Church decree. I can understand why this might perplex you. Surely, a sacrament celebrating a blessed union should also include the traditional pure white garb, should it not? But historically it just was not done. I don't feel that brides (Catholic or otherwise, and generally speaking of course) are intentionally giving the finger to the idea of Purity by wearing colors in their dress; having a shade other than white included in the garment shouldn't, in my opinion, be viewed as a blatant disrespect to the church.

I can understand your desire to keep with the tradition of white in your own wedding someday. It makes sense, because after all, we do wear white when we partake in many other sacraments. But again, as it has been mentioned before, white is not the only symbol of Christ or the things the church holds dear (i.e. blue for the blessed mother, red for Christ's sacrifice...). I feel that if the woman is including color in her white dress either as a representation of something in the church, homage to her heritage (such as the Celtic dress described above - I bet it was gorgeous!! Any pictures??), or for aesthetic purposes, then it is not in any way snubbing the church or defaming the sacrament of marriage.

[quote]My deacon told me that dresses should be modest.[/quote]

I totally agree. Your wedding day is a celebration of your union with the man you promise to spend the rest of your life with. Sure, you can look beautiful and princess-y - but being "sexy" should not even enter into the description!!

My wedding dress is a really long, all-white gown - pretty much what you'd picture as a typical wedding dress. :]

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friendofJPII
[quote name='Lil Red' post='1606524' date='Jul 23 2008, 05:24 PM']+J.M.J.+
:bigshock:

i hope men aren't wearing dresses to weddings nowadays!! that's going too far!!

:bigshock:
:P[/quote]

I meant a man's attire.

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jqvols1
[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1604696' date='Jul 21 2008, 04:56 PM']How do you define tasteful, exactly? I think it is rather sad that I will have to fly to Utah to look for a dress when I get married, because almost all the dresses in stores these days are strapless/ultra-fitted/immodest or colored.[/quote]

Pretty sure that you are going to find immodest dresses in Utah as well. And those dresses that you see with no straps? you can get them added and they still look decent

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friendofJPII
[quote name='Roamin_Catholic' post='1606658' date='Jul 23 2008, 06:31 PM']Pretty sure that you are going to find immodest dresses in Utah as well. And those dresses that you see with no straps? you can get them added and they still look decent[/quote]

Many of the modest bridal stores [url="http://www.beautifullymodest.com/store/wedding-dresses/"]http://www.beautifullymodest.com/store/wedding-dresses/[/url] are based in Utah because they have a large community of Mormons. You can buy it off the internet, but who can decide on a dress w/o trying it on first?

The staps David's Bridal are pathetic, thin, little peices of lace that they charge you a lot to sew on. They are not real "straps". And I would want actual (short) sleeves Edited by friendofJPII

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dominicansoul
My wedding dress is gonna be an off white, mish-mash of fabrics all put together with a safety pin. My veil will be very long and black!

But if something happens and I don't go back to the Convent...
(GOD FORBID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I think I wouldn't mind getting married in blue jeans and a t-shirt...at midnite, when no -one is around but me and my boo and the Catholic priest, and my witness.....

...yup...i would elope...Catholic-style!

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