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Who Wants To Date A Seminarian?


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Poll: Dating Seminarians

Would you ever date one?

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#1 tinytherese

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 08:10 PM

How did this poll get started? One of my friends at another college has a crush on a guy who might be a seminarian at the University of St. Thomas. She's too embarassed to ask him if he is one or not. They're not that involved with each other. She hasn't talked to him much. She said that at her school the seminarians can date during their first year. I was suprised to hear this.

It just seems that doing that would put quite a bit of strain on the relationship. Yet I've heard of some couples where the now husband was a seminarian when they met and started courting, which really makes you wonder. Any thoughts on this?

#2 HisChildForever

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 08:18 PM

I voted "never." This is very inappropriate.

#3 CatherineM

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 08:21 PM

I used to dance at official functions in college with someone who later became a priest. I think we were safe for each other. He wasn't a seminarian at the time. Maybe they want them to really be sure, experience some life, relationships, before committing to the priesthood.

#4 IrishSalesian

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 08:23 PM

I voted never, because I am one, and I wouldnt date another guy. But on the same token, I would not date anyone who was in formation to become a sister, or nun.

#5 Brigid

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 09:04 PM

um, only if he stopped being a seminarian. I would date a former seminarian, but never someone who was still in seminary. :blink:

#6 shortnun

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 09:06 PM

I dated a guy right after he left formation... but that wasn't really an option on the poll. And while he didn't leave "because" of me, we did wait until he received dispensation from his vows before dating. It was a grace-filled time to date, but I wouldn't recommend dating someone right after they've left seminary/formation to any rational person (but then again how many people begin dating rationally :P). Thankfully we broke up-- and I'm in the application process with a community and he's engaged to be married! God truly does work miracles every day!!

#7 Veritas

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 09:12 PM

+

I've known plenty of girls who have had fleeting crushes on seminarians and subsequently "wanted" to date a seminarian, but the question isn't who "wants" to but, who "should" and the answer is no one. Of course, after men discern they are not called, then there is no problem. I know a lot of these men -and they make great husbands to their wives! Including one of my best friends. :) But, leave the men to discern. :)

#8 HisChildForever

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 10:07 PM

+

I've known plenty of girls who have had fleeting crushes on seminarians and subsequently "wanted" to date a seminarian, but the question isn't who "wants" to but, who "should" and the answer is no one. Of course, after men discern they are not called, then there is no problem. I know a lot of these men -and they make great husbands to their wives! Including one of my best friends. :) But, leave the men to discern. :)


Maybe they thought such crushes were super romantic? Like a skewed storyline from a classic romance novel (no, not one of those erotic ones).

We should all just think of seminarians as unavailable, just like the good Catholic guy who already has a girlfriend.

#9 IrishSalesian

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 10:29 PM

Yes, the seminarian is 'unavailable' to dating. However, please people, do not hesitate to make friends with a seminarian. The seminarian is a human being just as the rest of you, and he needs good healthy relationships with men, and with women. So do not, not talk to them. If you feel that you being around them makes you have deeper feelings than are permitted, then kindly remove yourself from constant contact with that seminarian.

I know that such relationships do work, those of a seminarian and a woman being good friends. Erin, HisChildForever and I are good friends. I think that it is very good for the seminarian to have relationships with females and other males alike because it improves their formation, pastoral, and emotional growth will come with these friendships. These relationships prepare them for the life of ministry to the Church where they will minister to both sexes. It is a healthy relationship to have and please do not shy from being a friend to a seminarian.

#10 HisChildForever

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 10:34 PM

:saint:

#11 shortnun

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Posted 26 August 2008 - 06:15 AM

Yes, the seminarian is 'unavailable' to dating. However, please people, do not hesitate to make friends with a seminarian. The seminarian is a human being just as the rest of you, and he needs good healthy relationships with men, and with women. So do not, not talk to them. If you feel that you being around them makes you have deeper feelings than are permitted, then kindly remove yourself from constant contact with that seminarian.

I know that such relationships do work, those of a seminarian and a woman being good friends. Erin, HisChildForever and I are good friends. I think that it is very good for the seminarian to have relationships with females and other males alike because it improves their formation, pastoral, and emotional growth will come with these friendships. These relationships prepare them for the life of ministry to the Church where they will minister to both sexes. It is a healthy relationship to have and please do not shy from being a friend to a seminarian.

Going to school with seminarians and befriending them, I couldn't agree with you more Irishsalesian. I've appreciated my friendships with seminarians greatly. And I think that the Church will reap the benefits of priests who have holy, healthy relationships with men and women!

#12 tinytherese

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Posted 26 August 2008 - 09:27 AM

Sure, seminary friends can lead lay people to holiness and vice versa. Maybe by becoming friends with a seminarian could lead others to begin the start of discerning their own vocations to the preisthood and religious life.

#13 Maria_Faustina

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Posted 26 August 2008 - 10:34 AM

I would never try to date a seminarian, because I would much rather leave him to be a possible future priest for the Church than just a possible boyfriend for myself! I understand the attraction (the attraction aLONe) good Catholic girls have to them--they're guys who are willing to give up their life to serve God and who want to be holy! It's completly understandable. BUT, if they really were a good Catholic girl, yes, they would take their emotions out of the picture and realize the necessity of letting him discern.... the guy is obviously a seminarian for a reason.

#14 tinytherese

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Posted 26 August 2008 - 10:52 AM

Just so everyone knows, my friend isn't pursuing the possible seminarian.

#15 Mari Therese

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Posted 26 August 2008 - 03:36 PM

never :o

#16 MandyKhatoon

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Posted 26 August 2008 - 10:49 PM

I as well would never date a seminarian. I think that is extremely inappropriate. It would be like you would be trying to lure him away from his vocation or from serving the Church.

#17 Domine ut Videam

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 12:43 PM

I would never date a seminarian either. However, as was mentioned I might date someone who had been in seminary if they had been out for a while. It is not fair to their discernment or your own if you were to date a seminarian.

#18 salterrae

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 12:57 PM

JM + JT

My Theology teacher this year was a seminarian. I guess the girls find him cute 'cause they're always flirting with their comments...

Until he mentioned the "g" word. :lol:

#19 :: KevinSymonds ::

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 07:01 PM

I voted "never." This is very inappropriate.



I second this notion and call upon the Moderators to consign forcefully this thread into the Erebus of Oblivion!

-KJS

#20 Jevitt

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 10:28 PM

I have a friend who dated a guy who later became a seminarian. He was a senior and she was a junior in HS. She new from the beginning that he was planning to enter the seminary. What do you guys think of that?




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