Should I Attend This Event At My College?

[tinytherese]

Just to warn everyone, this is a long post.

On saturday my college is a day that we'll meet to hear people's testimonials about "coming out," watching a tasteful documentary about how different families who dealt with a child coming out of the closet, and then have a discussion afterwards. (This is at a secular women's school by the way.)

One of my friends is hosting the event with the pride alliance club at my college. She says that she wants people from a variety of different positions on the contravercial issue to come. The documentary is supposed to be neutral about the position of whether or not someone should live the lifestyle or not. From what I've been told it's really just about trying to understand and love those who are opening up about their discovered homosexuality.

Over the past two years at my school there's been a vigil for homosexuals, bisexuals, and transvestites who have been victims of hate crimes. Last year I went with a group from my psychology class because we noticed that a lot of people were going and we needed people to fill out surveys (that were completely unrelated to the vigil by the way) for our class project. The event was supposed to be about protesting against hate crimes but I couldn't help but notice that it looked like more than that.

One of the speakers at the vigil talked along the lines of how Jesus loves everyone and accepts them no matter what and so we should stop judging them, just like what the bible says to do. (I hate when people use scripture like this and how people take that "Jesus accepts you no matter what you do" too far as if sins don't matter at all to Him. He accepts us but He doesn't always accept what we do. There's a big difference.) The overall feel was that it makes them happy so we should be tolerant of them.

Also at the event, menonites showed up in protest of the vigil handing out information with bible quotes condemning homosexual acts. It was pretty scary. People couldn't even cross the street that safely with them waiting for us at the cross walks. The girls fought them back with a poster that said that the bible also said that we are not supposed to judge. (Urg, hate the sin and not the sinner people. You've got it wrong. ) One of the menonites, thinking that I was with the other girls stopped me as I was about to walk across the street to my residence hall. She asked me if I believed that homosexuality was a sin and I tried to explain to her that it's not that homosexuality in itself is a sin but acting upon it its, but it didn't come out right and I ran across the street.

Both parties went about this issue wrong and I was going through spiritual warfare inside of me that night. All of the arguements for living out the toxic lifestyle went through my mind and to find peace I read through the questions in my "Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?" book. I knew that it explained the church's position on the issue very well so orthodoxy won, but I wished that I yearned to tell the other girls these things, yet also felt afraid of doing so. This is a really heated issue at my school. A lot of liberal minded girls come here. The women's college setting might be really appealing to some people so that they can possibly find a girlfriend here if they are of that sexual orientation or experiment with being gay for a time and then go back to men.

Sometime later in my english composition class we were supposed to a full flat on research paper on any topic that we wanted. I decided to write about this issue. I found rock solid information about it. I used Jason Evert's catholic version of his Pure Love Club website that had a lot of stuff on it, Catholic Answers, Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?, the bible, the catechism, and even a pastoral letter that our current holy father wrote when he was a cardinal regarding the treatment of homosexuals. I didn't talk about the religious elements of the issue until later on in the paper. I looked at the possible causes of same sex attraction, whether or not it really is "natural," whether or not it is healthy for them to live out such a lifestyle as well as if it's healthy for the children that they adopt, and then got onto the religious elements of the issue.

The title of it was "Love Instead of Hatred and Fear" and I made it clear that I was completely against hate crimes. I defined what real love really is and related to how if we really love them then we should not indulge them to live such a lifestyle for it is harmful to them and to society. The message really was about love. Loving them, respecting them, listening to them, becoming their friends, and really just treating them with dignity. And that through loving them, we can lead them to a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle, instead of the slavery of their same sex attractions.

On the day that we were supposed to give the rough drafts of our papers to classmates and the professor to evaluate I was so nervous. I tried preping for the event by singing songs like, "Be Not Afraid" and "Eagles Wings" for I knew that this paper was very important and yet probably wouldn't be a popular one. There was one girl in my class who was an homosexual and a very opinionated person at that. (This year she is the pride alliance president.) I was really nervous about her possibly reading my paper. That day however only one of my classmates got to read my paper. It was a friend of mine and she found it really interesting. My professor was impressed with it and commented on how much work I put into it. (9 pages plus one paragraph on the 10th) I was on the one hand glad that no one called me a "homophobe" or tried to attack me but on the other hand my other classmates didn't benefit from it. Well, with the event that's coming up that could change.

I emailed my paper to my friend that started the idea for this event. She might not agree with it or maybe just some of it, but I know that she'll appreciate my viewpoint on the subject since she's looking for people from all kinds of stances on the issue to come. I don't know what to do about this situation. I'm nervous about sharing my views and yet it could really have an impact on people. Should I go to the events this saturday and read my paper to everybody (not in a boring monotoned voice mind you, I'll read with enthusiasm and express the proper tone of voice at the given times in the paper) or should I present it in a different way? It does say on the advertisements for the event to share our views on homosexuality and this would certainly be it.

How should I go about this? This could be me at the event. along with being labeled a homophobe. I hate how everyone who is against living the lifestyle is called that.

[philothea]

That is a tough situation, and I know I'd be terrified.

But... I think you know the answer of what you ought to do -- which you've been doing all along.

Go. Share what information you can, if you get the opportunity, without being pushy. Don't worry about the tomato throwers or the labels. Won't be any worse than Jesus and the saints have dealt with. You are unlikely to be actually crucified. This is one short period of your life. It may become very awkward and unpleasant, but in all honesty, you might be the only person who can ever speak the truth to some of those women.

[alicemary]

If they really want an open and honest discussion from all points of views, then this would be a perfect venue for you. If you fear for your safety, stay away. I applaud that you took the time to research this subject and as long as your treat all with dignity and respect, then i say go for it

[CatherineM]

There is some advice for dealing with these kinds of situations, at least there used to be, on the [url="http://www.couragerc.net/"]Courage[/url] website.

[tinytherese]

Thanks everyone! Please pray for these ladies.

Edited October 10, 2008 by tinytherese

[BG45]

Will do.

[tinytherese]

In case you're wondering how it went, not the way that I had hoped. I was surprised that some girls thought that "hate the sin and not the sinner" was offensive, saying that the "sin" was who they were and that by hating the "sin" that they were hating them.

I think that would have really gotten through to them would have been theology of the body. I'm no expert in it. I'm really just at level one in studying it. I've read "Theology of the Body for Teens" that really rocked my socks but I still have a lot more to learn. Wouldn't that be really cool to bring that to the discussion table? Darn, where's Christopher West when you need him? So I'll continue on with TOB studies and also get that book that Courage has about the issue.

If only they could understand what God's plan for real love is. Love was mentioned so much at the discussion but if only they knew all of what it truly is. One girl said that as far as same sex romantic relationships, "it's just how they fall in love and it's none of your business what other people do in the bedroom." I still don't get how people can say that in the end God will judge them and that it's been them and God when the bible clearly says that it is a sin to live such a lifestyle. Did they think that He was just kidding?

Well, at least people at the event knew that I cared about them and I'm not the catholic girl who goes around saying that God hates them and that they are going to hell. I really feel called to become a director of family life at a parish now. John Paul II Institute here I come (eventually, I don't even have my associate of arts degree yet.) I'm such a strong introvert and am a writer. Hopefully over the years I'll improve my public speaking abilities and really really my speaking abilities in general. Well Moses used to be a quiet man and look how God used him. There's still hope.

[Ash Wednesday]

If people knew that you cared about them in any case and you were not painting a picture of a hatred-filled God, then it sounds like it went well, all things considered.

With some people, you could show them Mother-Teresa-levels of love and kindness, and they would still take your very belief system in itself as a personal attack.

[tinytherese]

Thanks Ash Wednesday. That is so true. Some people's hearts are hardened like Our Lord said about the pharisees in regards to Him, and He is love itself.

[eagle_eye222001]

[quote name='tinytherese' post='1675730' date='Oct 12 2008, 05:38 PM']In case you're wondering how it went, not the way that I had hoped. I was surprised that some girls thought that "hate the sin and not the sinner" was offensive, saying that the "sin" was who they were and that by hating the "sin" that they were hating them.[/quote]

Don't you love those people!

[quote]I think that would have really gotten through to them would have been theology of the body. I'm no expert in it... Darn, where's Christopher West when you need him?...[/quote]

Which is we need people like you and me to learn about our faith and be able to explain and defend it as Christopher West, John Martignoni (Bible Christian Society which is Catholic Apologetics despite its non-Catholic sounding name), Karl Keating of Catholic Answers, and many others who cannot be everywhere for us and we need to pick up the areas they are unable to tend to.

Christopher West is coming to my local Catholic Church in a few weeks and I am looking forward to his presentation as my parents have heard him before and highly recommend him.


[quote]If only they could understand what God's plan for real love is. Love was mentioned so much at the discussion but if only they knew all of what it truly is. One girl said that as far as same sex romantic relationships, "it's just how they fall in love and it's none of your business what other people do in the bedroom." I still don't get how people can say that in the end God will judge them and that it's been them and God when the bible clearly says that it is a sin to live such a lifestyle. ...[/quote]

Ah, people who use the Bible to defend slavery, sola scriptura, sola fide, sola this, sola that, soley for my FEEL-GOOD personal interpretation, and pretty much anything I can possible warp into my own context. I'm surprised the Bible has not been used to defend terrorism actually. I could see someone trying with parts of the OT where God wipes people out and kills innocent civilians. As an apprentice Apologists, I see a lot of work ahead of me.

[quote]Well, at least people at the event knew that I cared about them and I'm not the catholic girl who goes around saying that God hates them and that they are going to hell.[/quote]

That's an accomplishment there! Be proud of that as that there are too many people out there with that view.

[quote]I really feel called to become a director of family life at a parish now. John Paul II Institute here I come (eventually, I don't even have my associate of arts degree yet.) I'm such a strong introvert and am a writer. Hopefully over the years I'll improve my public speaking abilities and really really my speaking abilities in general. Well Moses used to be a quiet man and look how God used him. There's still hope.[/quote]

Fly on! It's not Eagles but at least they are birds and not a pig with wings!

[Guest Jon]

Hello Dear TinyTherese,

This is first a test post-I wrote earlier but I wasn't "logged in" so it was deleted accidently.
When this shows up alright I'll write more- this is only my second post - so I'm learning the ropes.

God Bless, Jon

[Guest Jon]

Hello dear TinyTherese,

I have enjoyed all the post here - sorry I was late joining.

I believe this is a worthy topic and would like to give my two cents...esp. because I have many male and female friends that are gay - even my neighbor of 8 years. They are everywhere. ;)

When Billy Graham was interviewed by 60 Minutes, he was asked why he had not joined the Christian Right group ( Pat Robertson, Jerry F, other evangelicals, etc. ) He said they were too focused on homosexuals. [color="#0000FF"][i]Why? Homosexuality is no more a sin than lust, gluttony or pride[/i].[/color]

That being said...while at an Interfaith function - a Catholic chatted with me and within 1 min he started in about the "gay agenda" and went on about it. I nodded patiently then said,
[i]" When people realize that stealing a paperclip from work is as much a sin as homosexuality, I sure will be happy." [/i] He said, "Yeah..." And that ended that unpleasant conversation. :)

When one focuses only on the Kingdom of Heaven ( following Jesus' Words to a TEE ) -- these sins of others are of no import. We know not what another's path is ----but what we do know is
God has it all under control and is assuredly drawing each sinner closer to Him in His Way.

What are we here to do? Follow God's instructions.[i] "Love, give, forgive, have faith, be abundant, delight in the Lord, be still, be humble, serve, cast our cares on Him, give Him our burdens, pray without ceasing, understand and know Him"...[/i]you get my point. There is almost not enough time in a day to do all that ... kidding.

All that takes up so much time the gays will be of no concern.
And when a gay person sees that radiating from you -that deep lack of care about their actions because your face is turned directly at the Sun - not turning from side to side or behind you ---that will make a much deeper impression on them and everyone else around... as in, " Who [u]is[/u] that girl? " ( Constantly preach the Gospel and when necessary use words. St Francis )

If you feel you have a "mission" to change them - I say - consider your methods. I'd rather follow someone with a shining face that is not looking at my shortfalls and could care less about my lifestyle ( shoplifter, drunk or gay) ---rather than, say, a person with a pamphlet that purposely attended my meeting with an agenda in mind. For example.

Oh my, I could go on...I'll leave it at that for now.

God Bless you my dear and your sweet heart,
Jon

[Guest Jon]

[quote name='tinytherese' post='1675763' date='Oct 12 2008, 05:33 PM']Thanks Ash Wednesday. That is so true. Some people's hearts are hardened like Our Lord said about the pharisees in regards to Him, and He is love itself.[/quote]


[color="#708090"]Hello dearTinyTherese,

I didn't realize this was you again I was responding to the post itself ---Actually Jesus was talking to the disciples after He had JUST done the miracle of the loaves and fish!!! Isn't that funny. :) The disciples were so concerned about the storm on the sea of Galilee ----they had forgotten His miracle and His power that had JUST occurred. It's one of my favorite examples to use regarding a "hardened heart" that's why I noticed it. Mark 6:52

Well, I just looked it up - Jesus didn't "say" it -Mark was commenting. You'll see - it's just so amazing how God can do something so amazing in our lives and next week we could lose faith in Him because " our hearts are hardened" !!! We are such silly creatures. :)

We must always hold His Blessings like a candle to our hearts cupped, protected from the wind.
Never ever forgetting His Glory and Power in our lives. Nothing is impossible with God.

God bless you,
Jon[/color]

[alicemary]

The important thing is that you went, you went outside your comfort zone and tried your best. You never, ever know what seed might have been planted. No one likes to be preached at or put down, even in the name of religion. The love of Jesus conquers all. I think you did a great job!!

[tinytherese]

[quote name='Jon' post='1676133' date='Oct 13 2008, 11:01 AM'][color="#708090"]Hello dearTinyTherese,

I didn't realize this was you again I was responding to the post itself ---Actually Jesus was talking to the disciples after He had JUST done the miracle of the loaves and fish!!! Isn't that funny. The disciples were so concerned about the storm on the sea of Galilee ----they had forgotten His miracle and His power that had JUST occurred. It's one of my favorite examples to use regarding a "hardened heart" that's why I noticed it. Mark 6:52

Well, I just looked it up - Jesus didn't "say" it -Mark was commenting. You'll see - it's just so amazing how God can do something so amazing in our lives and next week we could lose faith in Him because " our hearts are hardened" !!! We are such silly creatures.

We must always hold His Blessings like a candle to our hearts cupped, protected from the wind.
Never ever forgetting His Glory and Power in our lives. Nothing is impossible with God.

God bless you,
Jon[/color][/quote]

Interesting spin on that. So true though, sometimes even the hearts of believers are hardened and don't trust in Him, myself included.