Aramis Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Peace to all. Well i don't know really where to begin so might as well be with the present with some background. I was born into and brought up in the southern baptist tradition, being baptized around the age of 11. I went through RCIA and was brought into the Catholic Church at the age of 18 in my first year of college. Since then my Catholic faith has taken me from the heart of a southern protestant area, to being an instrumental founding member of a college council of the knights of Columbus, to traveling to see the wonders of the vatican, to sitting in the right field of yankee stadium as the pope adressed the nation. However, the story is not as storybook as it may seem. I am as many are, full of faults and sin and yet again find myself in a state of need. I have had in the past an account to phatmass, and i have often used the site as a great resource for apologetics, etc..., but have not been active on the site in a long time, mainly due to my political beliefs which are under much criticism here. Though i will say i am very pro life which constantly leads me to political arguments within my own party, a maverick in my own right i suppose... But anyway to my point. For most of my life i have felt an attraction to the religious life. In many cases i have ignored it with an attitude of if it is meant to be it will. However, lately i have been in a relationship with a girl who is head over heels for me. She is not catholic and when i leaked the news that i felt there may be a calling to the priesthood, there were problems. She said she understood, however, it lead to emotions that just recently ended in a breakup. Now. I have no idea if the Lord is truly calling me to his service, i am faced with doubt from all sides. I know such a decision to follow would be met with plenty of protest, from my family and others. I honestly have no clue what i want to do with my life, let alone what God wants to do with it. I know i do honestly care a great deal for this girl but i feel that leaving her will lead me to something greater, while at the same time breaking her heart. My campus priests have often commented that i'm their best vocation prospect... but i am truly no example christian, and i guess my real question focuses on what y'all think is the best way for me to handle this situation? Do i leave it all behind for a very fulfilling life of service to my God and fellow man? Or become the lifelong companion of someone who truly cares for me and I her? I do not expect you guys to make this decision for me, just asking for prayers and advice.... Thanks again and i wish the peace of Christ to you all.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philothea Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 (edited) Aramis! Do you have any opportunity to go to a retreat where they will be going through Loyola's Spiritual Exercises? The purpose of the exercises is discernment; it might be very helpful. (If you don't, [url="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0877933189?ie=UTF8&tag=amberdine-20&link_code=as3&camp=211189&creative=373489&creativeASIN=0877933189"]this book, "Weeds Among the Wheat"[/url] covers the same concepts for an individual on their own.) In general, I find that if you feel like you ought to do something, and your hesitation is that you're not worthy of it, or you simply don't want to... those are not true indications. It sounds like maybe you do know your vocation. Prayers for your discernment. (Fair warning: I'm biased. I like priests! ) Edited October 28, 2008 by philothea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aramis Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 Wow.. lol i just grabbed Loyola's spiritual exercises from the church library just days ago and was waiting for a chance to start reading... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 You know ordination will not miraculously make you sin free. I go to school with seminarians, and I promise you, they are all very ordinary guys, full of regular human failings and frailties. My question to you is how would you feel 10 years from now, being married to this woman, and still unsure. Marriage is a very difficult thing, even under the best of circumstances, and your wife would deserve to know that she wasn't an after thought, or a "settle for." You don't want to be looking back in regret wondering "what if." Explore your vocation. One of my classmates a year ago was a middle aged man who had been a priest, but left the priesthood to marry. His pull to be a priest ultimately ruined his marriage. His kids are grown and out of the house, so he decided to return to the priesthood, and they had him back in seminary, supposedly to be a refresher, but I also think the bishop wanted him to take the time he needed to really decide this time. Take the time that you need. Find a really good retreat. Only when things are really quiet can we hear him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alicemary Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Firstly, you need to be posting this over at vocation station, you will find many like you!! Secondly, welcome to Phatmass and to posting here. You will find that not all agree with everything posted on this site, I always feel middle of the road is where I am most comfortable at. You will find your comfort zone too. As to your vocation. Take your time. Dating is an important element. You need to feel comfortable with girls and can relate to them. Now would be a perfect time to go exploring. See what relgioius life/priesthood is all about. Go spend some time with your local priests/visit a seminary or two. Get a feel for the different orders vs dioceses. Most of all, develop your relationship with Jesus. Cultivate some private prayer time each day and stick with it. Get to Mass as much as you can. Enjoy this search. Find your place in the church and your role in the church today! No matter where lifes paths may lead, this can be a time of great growth for you. My prayers. Alicemary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 [quote name='Aramis' post='1687902' date='Oct 28 2008, 03:09 AM']My campus priests have often commented that i'm their best vocation prospect...[/quote] I've been told many times that I'd be a great priest, but I think it only means that you're a "good boy" who regularly shows up to church stuff, goes to Confession and Mass regularly, etc. That just means you're a highly devoted Catholic, which is the vocation of every human being. So pray, read Scripture, listen to good preaching, attend Adoration, confess your sins, and simply love God... and most likely you'll find that, like 90% of us, your vocation is to Holy Matrimony. Of course, more than a few priests and religious find their vocation after the death of their spouse (or marriage annulment). There have been times in history when many married couples mutually decided to join religious orders. You could always be married and join a Third Order. So many choices... but there's only one God. Our generation is easily distracted by the luxury of choices available to us, both secular and religious. We'd save ourselves a lot of trouble by laying it all down before Christ. Another bit of advice from a priest: Catholic women should look for a spouse who has considered priesthood, and Catholic men should look for a wife who has considered becoming a sister. Point being that following Christ is a life of sacrifice and self-giving, so anyone who has shown a longing to give their entire lives even as a single person is the kind of person one wants to marry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommas_boy Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 [quote name='Aramis' post='1687902' date='Oct 28 2008, 02:09 AM']Peace to all. Well i don't know really where to begin so might as well be with the present with some background. I was born into and brought up in the southern baptist tradition, being baptized around the age of 11. I went through RCIA and was brought into the Catholic Church at the age of 18 in my first year of college. Since then my Catholic faith has taken me from the heart of a southern protestant area, to being an instrumental founding member of a college council of the knights of Columbus, to traveling to see the wonders of the vatican, to sitting in the right field of yankee stadium as the pope adressed the nation. However, the story is not as storybook as it may seem. I am as many are, full of faults and sin and yet again find myself in a state of need. I have had in the past an account to phatmass, and i have often used the site as a great resource for apologetics, etc..., but have not been active on the site in a long time, mainly due to my political beliefs which are under much criticism here. Though i will say i am very pro life which constantly leads me to political arguments within my own party, a maverick in my own right i suppose... But anyway to my point. For most of my life i have felt an attraction to the religious life. In many cases i have ignored it with an attitude of if it is meant to be it will. However, lately i have been in a relationship with a girl who is head over heels for me. She is not catholic and when i leaked the news that i felt there may be a calling to the priesthood, there were problems. She said she understood, however, it lead to emotions that just recently ended in a breakup. Now. I have no idea if the Lord is truly calling me to his service, i am faced with doubt from all sides. I know such a decision to follow would be met with plenty of protest, from my family and others. I honestly have no clue what i want to do with my life, let alone what God wants to do with it. I know i do honestly care a great deal for this girl but i feel that leaving her will lead me to something greater, while at the same time breaking her heart. My campus priests have often commented that i'm their best vocation prospect... but i am truly no example christian, and i guess my real question focuses on what y'all think is the best way for me to handle this situation? Do i leave it all behind for a very fulfilling life of service to my God and fellow man? Or become the lifelong companion of someone who truly cares for me and I her? I do not expect you guys to make this decision for me, just asking for prayers and advice.... Thanks again and i wish the peace of Christ to you all....[/quote] You know, you truly don't know what your vocation is either way until you're kneeling at the altar. Just because you decide to explore what you feel is a Vocation to the priestly life doesn't mean that you're committed. On the other hand, should you decide to pursue this woman, you aren't committed to marriage, or even to marriage to her. My advice: Live in the present moment. God has called you to single life [b]right now[/b]. Or, He may make your yearning for the woman all the greater sometime later. But don't worry about the "later". Worry about the now. Right now, God has made you single, and has given you a desire for the priestly life. So, use your new-found opportunity to explore your desires. Visit some seminaries. Go on an Emmaus Day retreat. Visit some communities if you see yourself as more of a religious priest than a secular/diocesan one. If, sometime later, you feel that you are not being called to priestly life, so be it. But you will feel it in that moment. Wait for that moment to come in due time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 My advice pray for God's guidance and listen, let Him do the talking and you do the listening. And find a spiritual director. Other than that I have nothing to offer but my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 There are Catholic Rites that permit a married man to be ordained... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 [quote name='Winchester' post='1688390' date='Oct 29 2008, 01:05 AM']There are Catholic Rites that permit a married man to be ordained...[/quote] All of them, actually The Latin Rite permits ordination to the permanent diaconate for married men, and obviously the Eastern Rites permit ordination to the priesthood. No Catholic or Orthodox Church ordains married men as bishops. Of course, the point isn't to have one's cake and eat it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 [quote name='Aramis' post='1687902' date='Oct 28 2008, 03:09 AM']Peace to all. Well i don't know really where to begin so might as well be with the present with some background. I was born into and brought up in the southern baptist tradition, being baptized around the age of 11. I went through RCIA and was brought into the Catholic Church at the age of 18 in my first year of college. Since then my Catholic faith has taken me from the heart of a southern protestant area, to being an instrumental founding member of a college council of the knights of Columbus, to traveling to see the wonders of the vatican, to sitting in the right field of yankee stadium as the pope adressed the nation. However, the story is not as storybook as it may seem. I am as many are, full of faults and sin and yet again find myself in a state of need. I have had in the past an account to phatmass, and i have often used the site as a great resource for apologetics, etc..., but have not been active on the site in a long time, mainly due to my political beliefs which are under much criticism here. Though i will say i am very pro life which constantly leads me to political arguments within my own party, a maverick in my own right i suppose... But anyway to my point. For most of my life i have felt an attraction to the religious life. In many cases i have ignored it with an attitude of if it is meant to be it will. However, lately i have been in a relationship with a girl who is head over heels for me. She is not catholic and when i leaked the news that i felt there may be a calling to the priesthood, there were problems. She said she understood, however, it lead to emotions that just recently ended in a breakup. Now. I have no idea if the Lord is truly calling me to his service, i am faced with doubt from all sides. I know such a decision to follow would be met with plenty of protest, from my family and others. I honestly have no clue what i want to do with my life, let alone what God wants to do with it. I know i do honestly care a great deal for this girl but i feel that leaving her will lead me to something greater, while at the same time breaking her heart. My campus priests have often commented that i'm their best vocation prospect... but i am truly no example christian, and i guess my real question focuses on what y'all think is the best way for me to handle this situation? Do i leave it all behind for a very fulfilling life of service to my God and fellow man? Or become the lifelong companion of someone who truly cares for me and I her? I do not expect you guys to make this decision for me, just asking for prayers and advice.... Thanks again and i wish the peace of Christ to you all....[/quote] The faults you find in yourself will be there until you die, even the holiest among us have imperfections. Priests and brothers and monks do not give up their sinful humanity at ordination and profession. If you are attracted to religious life, make arrangements to test it out in various communites etc. Give God a chance The last thing you want to do is spend the rest of your life saying "what if", its not fair to the girl or yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 God does not often choose the most virtuous and strong to be priests. Heb 5 [1] For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. [2] He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. [3] Because of this he is bound to offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. [4] And one does not take the honor upon himself, but he is called by God, just as Aaron was. Pray and God will lead you. We will pray to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 [url="http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3657142"]http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/...videoId=3657142[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prose Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 My husband and I were dating before I was an active Catholic. At one point, he called me when studying in Rome and said "I am thinking about becoming a priest". Gasp. The air went out of my lungs. I was being dumped for GOD???? But then he said something that made sense to me later: "It is the responsibility of every Catholic man to discern the priesthood. I wouldn't be a good Catholic if I didn't at least give God time and consider it. If you can't accept that, then you probably aren't who I should be with." We are married 6 years now, and I am a Catholic youth minister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jon Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 [color="#000080"]Hi Aramis, Let's face it - we are always called into service to our Lord. Every waking moment. Do you have the clarity to realize it doesn't make any difference if your being beaten and in chains on an island or on a hilltop with your girl. Either way - you can't escape it - We are always called to His service, brother. I may sound glib, but I'm really not. God bless, Jon[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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