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Nunsense Is Back


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After two months at Edmonton Carmel, I have returned to the world again. :wall:
No, I am not a saint yet :saint: and yes I am still :juggle: trying to figure out what to do next.

First, thank you all so much for all your good wishes and prayers. I have caught up on some of the old posts here, and was very touched to see that you guys actually remembered me! God bless you all. :sign:

Edmonton Carmel was a learning experience for me, and the Prioress there is such a saintly woman. She really helped me in my discernment, and the whole time she was guiding me to find God's will for my life, and not what either she or I "wanted". I love her very much but Edmonton Carmel was not my "home" in religion. And that's ok - God's will is more important than my "comfort zone". Sometimes I just want so much to "belong" somewhere but there is no point in trying to force something that isn't meant to be, because only God knows what is best for our souls. I still feel such a great love for the Carmelite charism and spirituality.

Of course, at first, when I left, I was feeling very much like a "failure" again :cry: and didn't want to be in touch with anyone (I left on the 3rd of January). My family has been loving and supportive though and I have been enjoying attending Mass at different churches in the area, and attending Vespers (Evening Prayer) with the Norbertine Fathers. Prayer :pray: is the touchstone of our souls of course, so I have spent much time abandoning myself to Divine Providence again! :cupidhit:

Next week I leave the "summer" weather of southern California (80 degrees right now) to return to the snow (Edmonton was minus 36 when I was there) of Detroit to join another sister who needs some help with her ministry there. I don't know the future, but God's love is always with us, and I know that with His grace, and your loving prayers, I will be ok.

I encourage anyone who feels a call to religious life not to be afraid to try. I don't have the actual quote in front of me, but Mother gave me a bookmark that quoted St Therese - and the message was basically that it is our efforts that are pleasing to God, not the results. And St Teresa even said that God is pleased with those who do violence to their self-will to try to serve Him -- so remember that as long as we are making that effort - even if it seems that we never "succeed", we are a "success" in God's eyes.

So, dear phatmass phamily -- all for love of Jesus! :love:

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Welcome Back. I'm sorry it didn't work out up here for you, but it is better to continue looking for your calling than to settle for less than the Lord has in mind for you.

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Welcome back, Annie.

You've been on my mind and in my prayers. Did you ever check out those Bethlehem sisters in Livingston Manor?

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Today's first reading is about God calling Saul three times, and three times Saul thinking it was Eli calling him. He was giving the right answer, but to the wrong person. It reminded me of a number of the Phatmassers who have talked about their confusion (my term - theirs vary, but you know what I mean) in discerning where God is calling them. If it took Saul four times before he got it right... Hang in there Nunsense; Saul's reply was "Here I am, Lord - I come to do your will."

But the same reading - and now Nunsense's post - reinforced an idea that occurred to me a few weeks ago on another thread - the idea that a vocation is actually a kind of group decision. The called person, of course, (who can pursue the vocation or veto the group decision by simply not following the call), often a spiritual director, the receiving community (or its superior), parents (folks have posted a full spectrum of stories about parental involvement/ support in their child's decision, from full support like TradMom's to outright opposition), and of course God.

The vocation can come to fruition (only?) if all the people in the group deicision-making process come to the same cconclusion?

I'm not sure what I'm driving at, really - nothing radical - I'm just a little surprised that I never thought of it before. I guess I always assumed that most people discerned for a while, made up their minds which group to join, and then applied. In fact, what looks on the surface like an individual decision is much more a group decision.

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[quote name='Luigi' post='1754176' date='Jan 18 2009, 06:53 AM']Today's first reading is about God calling Saul three times, and three times Saul thinking it was Eli calling him. He was giving the right answer, but to the wrong person. It reminded me of a number of the Phatmassers who have talked about their confusion (my term - theirs vary, but you know what I mean) in discerning where God is calling them. If it took Saul four times before he got it right... Hang in there Nunsense; Saul's reply was "Here I am, Lord - I come to do your will."

But the same reading - and now Nunsense's post - reinforced an idea that occurred to me a few weeks ago on another thread - the idea that a vocation is actually a kind of group decision. The called person, of course, (who can pursue the vocation or veto the group decision by simply not following the call), often a spiritual director, the receiving community (or its superior), parents (folks have posted a full spectrum of stories about parental involvement/ support in their child's decision, from full support like TradMom's to outright opposition), and of course God.

The vocation can come to fruition (only?) if all the people in the group deicision-making process come to the same cconclusion?

I'm not sure what I'm driving at, really - nothing radical - I'm just a little surprised that I never thought of it before. I guess I always assumed that most people discerned for a while, made up their minds which group to join, and then applied. In fact, what looks on the surface like an individual decision is much more a group decision.[/quote]


It's not Saul but "Samuel"

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DiscerningSoul

Welcome back and your NOT a failure!

I too ended a discernment with a community but they are and will always be a huge part of my life and always my sisters in Christ.

I too am keep close to Jesus and tring to listen more to his voice, not my own.

Yes, I heard and saw todays reading was very touching and also in Divine Office prayer it felt like God's hand was on my shoulder, oh course driving thru the snow to get to church this AM was very slippery and I know Jesus and Mary was close by.

Anyway, If you would like to chat . . . I am here.

**HUGS**
:saint:

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TotusTuusMaria

Annie,

You are not a failure, but you know that. You said at the end that the fact that we tried means all to God. We are trying to do His will, and I think He sees and is pleased. He loves you a lot. You remain in my prayers. God bless you in your discernment. Please keep us up to date! :grouphug:

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[quote name='remaoung' post='1754234' date='Jan 18 2009, 06:15 AM']It's not Saul but "Samuel"[/quote]

BLAST! I was writing late at night - it never even occurred to me that I remembered it wrong. All those Old Testament men's S-names sound alike to me, I guess! :rolleyes:

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