To Know When To Give Up

[trustandgratitude]

Ok, you'll have to forgive me I'm extreamly computer illiterate whan it come to message boards....

when is it time to give up on a vocation? I prayed all Lent that God would take this desire for me because leaving it unfullfilled hurts to much. I recieved a note from a Sr. I know asking me to pray for her as she was preparing to take you final vows. Her note, a great act of humility, spoke right to my heart " God is allowing to espouse his Son". As my heart fill with joy for her it also filled with anger because this is my desire too. My heart aches and I find myself asking is it time to give up? There have been so many obsticals.

[CatherineM]

I don't think I truly gave up on my dreams of vocation until I was 43 and fell in love.

[Thomist-in-Training]

I can only speak for myself. I first felt that I could have a call at the end of high school. I was quickly discouraged by my parents' reaction, and at that point I had neither a strong faith, nor a strong knowledge about things Catholic, let alone religious orders. I waffled in my first year and a half of college. In Advent of my second year, though, I decided to see it all the way through, and only give up when

A) I entered a community

or

B) Someone I really trusted (a priest-advisor or a superior of a community, etc) told me they were convinced I did not have a religious vocation.

If I hadn't had an adviser but had still become [i]fully [/i]convinced in my heart that it wasn't wishful thinking but I really didn't have a vocation, I would probably also have taken that as "seeing it through." However, in fact, I became more and more certain that I [i]do [/i]have a religious vocation, and I have been accepted to a community... certainly after a lot of struggles, and I have more ahead of me to get there!

If I were you, I would make a similar promise to myself and to God to see it through to the end until certain one way or the other. You may have a lot of struggles, but one way or the other you will end up with peace as well, which is better than always being uncertain. I will pray for you!

N.B. The only way obstacles would show that you should give up is if they are [i]invincible [/i]obstacles to religious life... certain mental health problems, someone you have an unbreakable obligation to take care of, and that kind of thing.

On the other hand, obstacles like lack of education, not knowing any communities, strong, even forcible opposition from parents, having to wait a very long time--all of these were overcome by many Saints.

[tinytherese]

As I've heard it put before, don't give up-offer it up to God and leave it in His hands.

Easier said than done I know.

[Marieteresa]

hi, I just wanted to say that I understand how you are feeling....For so long that was all my heart desired, to love and serve him as a sister. I have had many friends who have entered religious life and although i was happy that they finally were able to pursue their dreams, I at the same time wondered when it would be my turn....when would I become His bride. I understand the obstacles you face for me it was student loan debt...although anything is possible it just didn't seem like it was God's timing for me. Anyway, hang in there and try not to lose faith...try to use this time outside as preparation for when you finally enter. Again nothing is impossible with God. Know that you will be in my prayers

[walburga]

[quote name='trustandgratitude' post='1854248' date='May 1 2009, 11:40 AM']Ok, you'll have to forgive me I'm extreamly computer illiterate whan it come to message boards....

when is it time to give up on a vocation? I prayed all Lent that God would take this desire for me because leaving it unfullfilled hurts to much. I recieved a note from a Sr. I know asking me to pray for her as she was preparing to take you final vows. Her note, a great act of humility, spoke right to my heart " God is allowing to espouse his Son". As my heart fill with joy for her it also filled with anger because this is my desire too. My heart aches and I find myself asking is it time to give up? There have been so many obsticals.[/quote]


I have been waiting for 13 years to enter religious life. I had already become very close to a well-known Benedictine community and even lived in the monastery for a couple of years. I watched as postulants passed me by, made vows, and there I was... still living in the guest wing. My first obstacle was a HUGE debt, then, I was diagnosed with lupus, and of course, as the years went by while I worked to pay my debt, I got older so... I finally gave up because it hurt too badly to go on. I started studying, learing how to write a rule of life, preparing myself to live a life for God, alone, as a 'solitary'. And I was at peace until... I made a retreat at a monastery I had never heard of before. As soon as I was in the monastic environment all my desire flared up again and I was angry with God. Very angry. I asked Him to either fill this desire or take it from me. I remember the exact moment... I was walking down the road at the front of the monastery. I turned and looked back and I heard His voice, "If you could enter here, would you, or would you run away?" I was scared because this community is serious business - papal enclosure, everything in Latin, they mean what they say when they talk about the purpose of their lives - they are truly seeking union with God and that is serious stuff! I answered,"If You open the door, I will walk through. I will not run away, no matter how afraid I may be. But, if You do not open the door, I am done. I will never consider religious life again." The next day I spoke with the novice mistress, who knew my obstacles, and I asked her if there were any chance the door would be open to me. From that moment on, the doors have kept opening in many surprising ways. It hasn't been easy, waiting on God, but so far, it's been worth it! None of this is mine, nothing comes from me. I cannot credit myself with getting out of debt, or having my health stabilize, or any of the other things that have happened. This is all about Him, and I know it. I can't even PRETEND that I have any role in this. So, what I would say to you is this... give it right back to God. I'm not kidding when I say I know what you are experiencing. It was when I stopped looking and was able to 'get out of the way' that God was able to do His part and He has brought me to the most unexpected places! He will do it for you too. Not, He MIGHT do it, or He COULD do it, but He WILL do it. When the time is right, when He has prepared you, when you are ready to receive it...

I just want to add one more thing... for me, everything changed when I decided to make a "Marian year". For the entire year of 2008, starting on January 1, I made sure I prayed a rosary every day and very specifically put my discernment in the hands of Our Lady. Eventually, I made the total consecration as well. Precisely 15 days after I started my prayer, things began to happen, doors began to open. Ask Our Lady. There is no better guide for discernment than herself!

Edited May 1, 2009 by walburga

[the lords sheep]

wow. Thank you Walburga.
That gives me so much peace and encouragement. I know it wasn't intended for me, but I thank you none the less.

In Christ,
Lauren

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='the lords sheep' post='1854639' date='May 1 2009, 08:33 PM']wow. Thank you Walburga.
That gives me so much peace and encouragement. I know it wasn't intended for me, but I thank you none the less.

In Christ,
Lauren[/quote]

I say thanks as well ... it is encouragement.

[DameAgnes]

Walburga, what a very good reply. All of it.

I was especially struck by this "So, what I would say to you is this... give it right back to God. I'm not kidding when I say I know what you are experiencing. It was when I stopped looking and was able to 'get out of the way' that God was able to do His part and He has brought me to the most unexpected places! He will do it for you too. Not, He MIGHT do it, or He COULD do it, but He WILL do it. When the time is right, when He has prepared you, when you are ready to receive it..."

This is my experience too. When you say to God, "show me what you have for me," he will. it's astonishing.

btw, when do you enter, and I am correct in thinking you're a Benedictine?

Edited May 2, 2009 by DameAgnes

[trustandgratitude]

[quote name='walburga' post='1854603' date='May 1 2009, 06:01 PM']I have been waiting for 13 years to enter religious life. I had already become very close to a well-known Benedictine community and even lived in the monastery for a couple of years. I watched as postulants passed me by, made vows, and there I was... still living in the guest wing. My first obstacle was a HUGE debt, then, I was diagnosed with lupus, and of course, as the years went by while I worked to pay my debt, I got older so... I finally gave up because it hurt too badly to go on. I started studying, learing how to write a rule of life, preparing myself to live a life for God, alone, as a 'solitary'. And I was at peace until... I made a retreat at a monastery I had never heard of before. As soon as I was in the monastic environment all my desire flared up again and I was angry with God. Very angry. I asked Him to either fill this desire or take it from me. I remember the exact moment... I was walking down the road at the front of the monastery. I turned and looked back and I heard His voice, "If you could enter here, would you, or would you run away?" I was scared because this community is serious business - papal enclosure, everything in Latin, they mean what they say when they talk about the purpose of their lives - they are truly seeking union with God and that is serious stuff! I answered,"If You open the door, I will walk through. I will not run away, no matter how afraid I may be. But, if You do not open the door, I am done. I will never consider religious life again." The next day I spoke with the novice mistress, who knew my obstacles, and I asked her if there were any chance the door would be open to me. From that moment on, the doors have kept opening in many surprising ways. It hasn't been easy, waiting on God, but so far, it's been worth it! None of this is mine, nothing comes from me. I cannot credit myself with getting out of debt, or having my health stabilize, or any of the other things that have happened. This is all about Him, and I know it. I can't even PRETEND that I have any role in this. So, what I would say to you is this... give it right back to God. I'm not kidding when I say I know what you are experiencing. It was when I stopped looking and was able to 'get out of the way' that God was able to do His part and He has brought me to the most unexpected places! He will do it for you too. Not, He MIGHT do it, or He COULD do it, but He WILL do it. When the time is right, when He has prepared you, when you are ready to receive it...

I just want to add one more thing... for me, everything changed when I decided to make a "Marian year". For the entire year of 2008, starting on January 1, I made sure I prayed a rosary every day and very specifically put my discernment in the hands of Our Lady. Eventually, I made the total consecration as well. Precisely 15 days after I started my prayer, things began to happen, doors began to open. Ask Our Lady. There is no better guide for discernment than herself![/quote]

Thank you

[laetitia crucis]

Thank you, walburga. This is exactly what I've been needing to hear, too.

God bless!

[walburga]

[quote name='DameAgnes' post='1854964' date='May 1 2009, 10:36 PM']Walburga, what a very good reply. All of it.

I was especially struck by this "So, what I would say to you is this... give it right back to God. I'm not kidding when I say I know what you are experiencing. It was when I stopped looking and was able to 'get out of the way' that God was able to do His part and He has brought me to the most unexpected places! He will do it for you too. Not, He MIGHT do it, or He COULD do it, but He WILL do it. When the time is right, when He has prepared you, when you are ready to receive it..."

This is my experience too. When you say to God, "show me what you have for me," he will. it's astonishing.

btw, when do you enter, and I am correct in thinking you're a Benedictine?[/quote]

I enter on June 20th. Yes, I'm entering a Benedictine community.

[DameAgnes]

I will pray for your intention; I'm an oblate so we are true sisters in spirit!

[walburga]

[quote name='DameAgnes' post='1855769' date='May 2 2009, 06:33 PM']I will pray for your intention; I'm an oblate so we are true sisters in spirit![/quote]

Thank you! Of which monastery are you an oblate?

[DameAgnes]

St. John's in Collegeville, but I'm considering transferring my oblation to Latrobe. The Oblate community there seems more vibrant, and as I am the only oblate I know (where I am, there are no monasteries at all) I think I can get to it more often.