the lords sheep Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 So, the short story is, I am resigning my position (my last day is next week) and moving back to the US to enter the convent in the fall. The thing is, however, I haven't really told most my coworkers what I'm doing, and I feel really awkward being like, "by the way, I'm moving back and entering the convent." The couple people that I've told has gone fine, but it's still weird to me. Moreover, I told a few people that I work with in the US, and, despite a request to keep it between us (because I had yet to be accepted...), one/two of them told a lot of people, and now many of my coworkers know, despite the fact that I haven't told them. I know some of this is a struggle with pride, because I know most of them think I am crazy. I also know that some of the struggle is that I'm a private person, and this journey has been difficult and very deep in my soul, and it continues to be difficult because of struggles with my family, and I feel so inept at describing it all and so incredibly vulnerable even attempting to do so. And I feel guilty for not being more open about it, because if I were getting married, everyone would know for a long time that I was moving toward that vocation. Ugh. Any advice or encouragement is welcomed. Thanks for letting me vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 You are returning home to take a professional position. What's to be embarrassed about? You'd think people in Rome would be ecstatic about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alicemary Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 There is no reason to broadcast it. Tell whoever you wish to, the rest say you are searching different career options and leave it at that. Alot of people have no concept of what you are doing and what it means, and at this point you are not going to be able to enlighten them anyway. Make it easier on yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I know how you feel - if you are not used to talking about your vocation "out loud" so to speak it can feel very, very weird and awkward when you do talk to others about it, especially those whose reaction you can not be sure will be enthusiastic. I felt this way myself, through practice it got a lot better (you are entering soon though so maybe you won't have to deal with the eeeehhh factor long enough to get rid of it entirely). And then after all that I realized I was called to marriage! Thanks a lot Jesus Just kidding. Try to relax about it, just remember that even if people think you are crazy or a huge weirdo, the fact is plenty of people do things with their lives that are off the beaten track nowadays, and really they are often better respected for doing something out of the ordinary. I once read that whenever taking a big step in your life it's good to have a five minute "elevator speech" prepared that you can sort of spiel out to people who ask. If you have a lot of anxiety about it you might try talking to yourself in the mirror... if that doesn't make you feel even more strange... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zunshynn Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Remember its an opportunity to share Jesus with people. It doesn't mean you have to tell them all the details about your decision, but if they have questions, answer and do feel awkward... It's Jesus' opportunity to shine through you. It's important to remember that when people are intrigued by a religious, they're really intrigued by God. I would steer people away from thinking about it as your "professional position" or "career choice" though... because it isn't... I would try to point out the parallel to marriage. It has the advantage of making people think about their commitments to marriage, and what it means, and its importance. You don't have to be sticky about it, like "well, NO... it's not a job its a vocation," but just kindly point out that it's more than a job, and more important than a job. Because so many people do put their jobs above their vocation. Religious life is a beautiful witness of the proper perspective on things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NisiTe Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 I know how you feel, but if you feel awkward offer it to Jesus who is preparing to form your life into a witness of His ineffable love What I find to be hard is actually sharing this beautiful news with fellow Catholics, who perhaps have been lazy in their faith, think that religious life in this age of the Church is useless, or have ridiculous stereotypes of religious (especially) the social worker aspect that has been associated with religious. I remember talking to the mother of a close friend of mine, who is Catholic, and she exclaimed to me, "I don't see how you could do this when there are so many people in this world who could use you!" (A.) This is something I would expect to hear if I were joining a cloistered order, B.) I'm joining a contemplative-active teaching order and it is not like I will not be educating students and bringing them closer to Christ, and C.) I am not called to be a social worker) and to this I replied in a very direct manner, "I do not belong to people, I belong to God! It is He who tells me where to go and I follow Him there." That has been my most interesting reaction...but most of the time people just stare at me and blink...that is how it went with my former sorority sisters...but those who understand religious life and appreciate it and can see how it is a beautiful gift to the Church, usually have much different reactions... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveletslive Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 [quote name='NisiTe' post='1919103' date='Jul 13 2009, 08:23 PM']That has been my most interesting reaction...but most of the time people just stare at me and blink...that is how it went with my former sorority sisters...but those who understand religious life and appreciate it and can see how it is a beautiful gift to the Church, usually have much different reactions...[/quote] kate, you were in a sorority? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 [quote name='NisiTe' post='1919103' date='Jul 13 2009, 08:23 PM']I replied in a very direct manner, "I do not belong to people, I belong to God! It is He who tells me where to go and I follow Him there."[/quote] What a beautiful response, NisiTe! I shall have to use that when I am preparing to join an order, especially if it's a cloister. I've had quite a few people ask me why in the world I am doing this when I am so good with people. My grandmother asked me if I intend to give up nursing... Nursing CAN come in handy in the infirmary too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 [quote name='loveletslive' post='1919153' date='Jul 13 2009, 09:22 PM']kate, you were in a sorority?[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 I would pray about it and do what the Lord leads you to do. Its more awkward when your co-workers know about your decision and you back out -- I had to put up with questions about the convent for weeks after I returned. Its ok -- but again there are moments that you'd rather not get the questions; but He does give the grace. So -- follow whatever the Lord tells you. If He says to keep it quiet then go ahead and do so. If He says to shout it to the rooftops then do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NisiTe Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 [quote name='loveletslive' post='1919153' date='Jul 13 2009, 09:22 PM']kate, you were in a sorority?[/quote] I knew you would say that as soon as I posted it! Yes, I was in a sorority...for like a month...it was the national honorary band sorority, aka TBS...I was a band geek back in the day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the lords sheep Posted July 14, 2009 Author Share Posted July 14, 2009 (edited) [quote name='cmariadiaz' post='1919181' date='Jul 14 2009, 03:44 AM']I would pray about it and do what the Lord leads you to do. So -- follow whatever the Lord tells you. If He says to keep it quiet then go ahead and do so. If He says to shout it to the rooftops then do so.[/quote] Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I need to be more open with people and I beat myself up for not bearing witness to the life God has called me to. Thanks for reminding me that it's not about me, it's all about Him. I've had some pretty interesting reactions, and some of the questions are humorous. Someone told me, "But you're so young! Why don't you do your own thing and work for awhile, then, if you still want to do it when you're 35, you can try it then." Someone else asked me, "You know you can never have sex, right?" I responded, "so I've heard." The most frustrating thing is that people are gossiping about me, and even though it's good news, I just find it odd to be getting so much attention... Edited July 14, 2009 by the lords sheep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NisiTe Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 [quote name='the lords sheep' post='1919447' date='Jul 14 2009, 06:37 AM']The most frustrating thing is that people are gossiping about me, and even though it's good news, I just find it odd to be getting so much attention...[/quote] I totally relate...I find it really in my home parish that I grew up in...ever since they found out that I was entering religion, in a way I have become somewhat of a commodity...I do not think they really understand which community I'm joining (they are not known for promoting traditional religious life, let's just say that)...if they did I think I would be getting more negative attention... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Rose Therese Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 I do remember how scary and embarasing it was to talk to people about entering religious life. I remember the reaction of my cousin, "Do people still do that?" or of my boss, "A little radical, isn't it?" Family was the hardest of course. But sometimes you can have good reactions from the people you'd least expect. It is a powerful statement. Maybe you'll get them thinking. Many people nowadays have never known anyone who entered a convent. If I were you, as far as your co-workers are concerned, I would tell them if they ask. They already know you're leaving, right? Just not necessarily why? If they don't know you well enough to be curious about why you are leaving, I don't see why you'd have to tell them. They'll hear about it soon enough. Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 (edited) [quote name='the lords sheep' post='1919447' date='Jul 14 2009, 07:37 AM']Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I need to be more open with people and I beat myself up for not bearing witness to the life God has called me to. Thanks for reminding me that it's not about me, it's all about Him. .... The most frustrating thing is that people are gossiping about me, and even though it's good news, I just find it odd to be getting so much attention...[/quote] Sister Rose Terese said it quite well (even though I'm not quoting her :-)). And I'll add to it by saying you aren't obligated to say anything -- again if the Lord leads you to discuss it with someone then by all means do so. But unless you really do feel like you need to "shout it to the rooftops" don't feel obligated to do so! And the gossiping ... don't worry about it. People will say whatever, truthful or not. You and the Lord know the truth and that is key. :-) Blessings! Edited July 15, 2009 by cmariadiaz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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