Bumpiholics

[Angel*Star]

When I would tell my neighbor I was expecting (no. 3 & 4), she went on a 30 minute rant on why she didn't want any more children. It was then I thought there is a sincere desire in most women to desire children. How else would God keep the world populated? Certainly not through ObamaCare!

As far as women who put too much attention on their children and not themselves. I find this in women who have two or three. I know some who cut their child's meat until they were 12 or 13 years old! Then these same parents put so much into their children they are now divorced. Obviously my husband and I have lots of time to ourselves or I would not have as many children! The parents with two or three kids live life through their child's lives. They are in every sport and activity under the sun. My kids have to decide what sport they want to play in any particular year. They are not allowed to be in more than one other activity. This is not to be mean, it is so we have time to spend as a family camping, family game nights, eating watermelon, going out to see Christmas lights, etc. These are just a few of the activities we enjoy doing together. My kids have time to be a kid. They also can decide which sport and activity they want. They are well adjusted. And remember, my kids will pay your Social Security someday. They are hard working and trust-worthy.

I don't need a career to hide behind to feel good about myself. I have time to myself, my husband does as well. We also spend time together as husband and wife and as a family.

**Rant over**

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Luthien' post='1946813' date='Aug 12 2009, 01:09 AM']Terra- I suppose that the article struck a nerve because I am a pregnant whale, that and hubby and I tried a long time to get pregnant. I was pretty heartbroken throughout the ordeal, and wrestled with feelings of inadequacy and feeling useless as a woman. Sure, these were irrational, but not abnormal or some sort of addiction like crack. I guess the point of the article was lost on me and I did not interpret it as you did.[/quote]
Yeah, I don't think she's addressing people who struggle(d) with infertility at all, although I can understand how this could have struck a nerve for you because of your history.

The desire to have a child is a natural, beautiful thing, but it can be twisted due to our own sinful natures. That's all she's saying (albeit not in those terms). I don't think she's advocating for smaller families or fewer children, or indicting women who've gone through things like infertility.

Like I said, I knew a woman who, in my opinion, exhibited exactly the same "symptoms" this author is talking about. She got pregnant with her married boyfriend who lived halfway around the country (and had a wife and two kids in Africa he was supporting). She was 35, and desperately wanted the traditional family, complete with white picket fence, and thought this baby could magically make that happen. I still feel sad for that little boy -- not that he was born, mind you, but that he is born into a situation where his mama put so much emotional baggage on him before he ever entered the world.

My husband notes that there are a lot of things we do for less than pure reasons, and that doesn't mean they're doomed to fail. But, we can still serve ourselves and our children well by paying attention to our own motivations and mental health. I think that's a good thing to do.

[quote name='Paddington' post='1946830' date='Aug 12 2009, 01:20 AM']I like to think that even most "bad parents" really care about their kids a lot in an unselfish way.

[/quote]
If that helps you sleep better at night, then go right ahead believing it.

But, there are plenty of kids in foster care who would are evidence to the contrary.

[StColette]

[quote]n 2007 alone, American women birthed more than 4.3 million babies — the highest number ever. More than a quarter of those were to women having their third or fourth child, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.[/quote]

Who sees something wrong in this quote? or at least it sounds wrong?

[b]
"according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention" [/b]

Is it just me or does that come across as lumping pregnancy in with diseases?

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='StColette' post='1946912' date='Aug 12 2009, 02:49 PM']Who sees something wrong in this quote? or at least it sounds wrong?

[b]
"according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention" [/b]

Is it just me or does that come across as lumping pregnancy in with diseases?[/quote]
I thought about that, too. Really, the CDC?

[Sojourner]

[quote name='StColette' post='1946912' date='Aug 12 2009, 09:49 AM']Who sees something wrong in this quote? or at least it sounds wrong?

[b]
"according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention" [/b]

Is it just me or does that come across as lumping pregnancy in with diseases?[/quote]
Maybe you should quit seeing your doctor for your pregnancy then. If it's not a disease, then you don't need a doctor.

[rachael]

I worked down the street from the CDC. I had to do an order for the head of dermatology. That was the grossest two weeks of my summer.

[Luthien]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1946900' date='Aug 12 2009, 11:13 AM']Yeah, I don't think she's addressing people who struggle(d) with infertility at all, although I can understand how this could have struck a nerve for you because of your history.

The desire to have a child is a natural, beautiful thing, but it can be twisted due to our own sinful natures. That's all she's saying (albeit not in those terms). I don't think she's advocating for smaller families or fewer children, or indicting women who've gone through things like infertility.

Like I said, I knew a woman who, in my opinion, exhibited exactly the same "symptoms" this author is talking about. She got pregnant with her married boyfriend who lived halfway around the country (and had a wife and two kids in Africa he was supporting). She was 35, and desperately wanted the traditional family, complete with white picket fence, and thought this baby could magically make that happen. I still feel sad for that little boy -- not that he was born, mind you, but that he is born into a situation where his mama put so much emotional baggage on him before he ever entered the world.

My husband notes that there are a lot of things we do for less than pure reasons, and that doesn't mean they're doomed to fail. But, we can still serve ourselves and our children well by paying attention to our own motivations and mental health. I think that's a good thing to do.[/quote]

Gotcha, I was a little sleep deprived last night, and suffering insomnia. Figure that out.

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1946935' date='Aug 12 2009, 12:25 PM']Maybe you should quit seeing your doctor for your pregnancy then. If it's not a disease, then you don't need a doctor.[/quote]

I did. I've been seeing an Amish midwife. Not knockin' OBs, but the care wasn't as one on one as I liked. I'm very lucky to have found a homebirth midwife who has so much experience.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Luthien' post='1947195' date='Aug 12 2009, 04:01 PM']Gotcha, I was a little sleep deprived last night, and suffering insomnia. Figure that out.[/quote]
I've heard that's a common problem in the 3rd trimester. Hope you are feeling better today.

[quote name='Luthien' post='1947195' date='Aug 12 2009, 04:01 PM']I did. I've been seeing an Amish midwife. Not knockin' OBs, but the care wasn't as one on one as I liked. I'm very lucky to have found a homebirth midwife who has so much experience. [/quote]
I did think of that as I typed that line.

I personally have no problem with the CDC keeping stats on pregnancy, because there are plenty of pregnancy-related health issues (including DISEASES) that crop up. If you go on their site, these are the kinds of things they primarily track. The stats are interesting, to me at least.

I am a little jealous of your midwife, I have to say. I feel like I should stay with my doctor, because of my personal history and the fact that there is a history of childbirth problems in my family (mom had C-sections for all 5 of us, grandma had a lot of trouble delivering baby #3, great-grandma died in childbirth). Odds are good I'll have complications, but I am entranced with the idea of giving birth at home. Have you seen "The Business of Being Born"?

[Ash Wednesday]

I didn't think the article was that bad. It's written from a pretty detached and secular standpoint but it's not that often that I actually read anything that discusses pregnancy in any sort of positive light and as being something that is appealing to women. Usually I just hear about how physically awful it is.

[Luthien]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1947209' date='Aug 12 2009, 06:11 PM']I've heard that's a common problem in the 3rd trimester. Hope you are feeling better today.


I did think of that as I typed that line.

I personally have no problem with the CDC keeping stats on pregnancy, because there are plenty of pregnancy-related health issues (including DISEASES) that crop up. If you go on their site, these are the kinds of things they primarily track. The stats are interesting, to me at least.

I am a little jealous of your midwife, I have to say. I feel like I should stay with my doctor, because of my personal history and the fact that there is a history of childbirth problems in my family (mom had C-sections for all 5 of us, grandma had a lot of trouble delivering baby #3, great-grandma died in childbirth). Odds are good I'll have complications, but I am entranced with the idea of giving birth at home. Have you seen "The Business of Being Born"?[/quote]

Well I hope you're the one to break that chain. I have seen the Business of Being Born, I really enjoyed it, despite it being a tad slanted. I was a homebirth, so I've always been interested in it.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='StColette' post='1946912' date='Aug 12 2009, 10:49 AM']Who sees something wrong in this quote? or at least it sounds wrong?

[b]
"according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention" [/b]

Is it just me or does that come across as lumping pregnancy in with diseases?[/quote]

Not really, they are tracking births. The majority of babies born in this country receive vaccinations, etc, Someone is keeping track of all that stuff.

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1947209' date='Aug 12 2009, 05:11 PM']I am a little jealous of your midwife, I have to say. I feel like I should stay with my doctor, because of my personal history and the fact that there is a history of childbirth problems in my family (mom had C-sections for all 5 of us, grandma had a lot of trouble delivering baby #3, great-grandma died in childbirth). Odds are good I'll have complications, but I am entranced with the idea of giving birth at home. Have you seen "The Business of Being Born"?[/quote]

She does have a really fantastic midwife. The same lady delivered all 7 (soon to be 8) of my SILs kids. I would have considered her but I wasn't ready for a home birth with my first, and now I am not really comfortable with the idea at all since I'm prone to precipitous labors and there is a big risk of hemorrhage (they thought I was bleeding too much after Xander so they gave me 2 shots of Pitocin). My SIL said that it's awesome to watch her midwife with their new babies, though. She said she cuddles and croons to them as if it's the first and most beautiful baby she's ever seen each and every time. I think that that level of love and care is awesome. I loved my midwife/birthing center births, too, not quite the caliber of this lady but great experiences both times. But... now with precipitous labors I feel much more comfortable in the hospital.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='StColette' post='1946912' date='Aug 12 2009, 08:49 AM']Who sees something wrong in this quote? or at least it sounds wrong?

[b]
"according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention" [/b]

Is it just me or does that come across as lumping pregnancy in with diseases?[/quote]


I guess the flip side of that would be that it IS included in the Americans with Disabilities Act. Not in that it is a disability per se, but that you cannot be discriminated (in theory at least) against at work because you go to the bathroom every fifteen minutes or need to eat at certain times or whatever...

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Luthien' post='1947374' date='Aug 12 2009, 07:53 PM']Well I hope you're the one to break that chain. I have seen the Business of Being Born, I really enjoyed it, despite it being a tad slanted. I was a homebirth, so I've always been interested in it.[/quote]
Yeah I saw it a couple of years ago (before I met my husband) and enjoyed it as well, although like you say it is a bit slanted. I just love the idea of a child being born in the home where he or she grows up. I think modern medicine has done some really wonderful things relating to childbirth, but I also think we are becoming increasing removed from natural life processes, like birth and death because so often they take place in sterile hospital environments.

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1947395' date='Aug 12 2009, 08:10 PM']She does have a really fantastic midwife. The same lady delivered all 7 (soon to be 8) of my SILs kids. I would have considered her but I wasn't ready for a home birth with my first, and now I am not really comfortable with the idea at all since I'm prone to precipitous labors and there is a big risk of hemorrhage (they thought I was bleeding too much after Xander so they gave me 2 shots of Pitocin). My SIL said that it's awesome to watch her midwife with their new babies, though. She said she cuddles and croons to them as if it's the first and most beautiful baby she's ever seen each and every time. I think that that level of love and care is awesome. I loved my midwife/birthing center births, too, not quite the caliber of this lady but great experiences both times. But... now with precipitous labors I feel much more comfortable in the hospital.[/quote]
Yeah that makes me even more jealous. I would love to someday study midwifery myself.

[quote name='missionseeker' post='1947627' date='Aug 12 2009, 10:46 PM']I guess the flip side of that would be that it IS included in the Americans with Disabilities Act. Not in that it is a disability per se, but that you cannot be discriminated (in theory at least) against at work because you go to the bathroom every fifteen minutes or need to eat at certain times or whatever...[/quote]
Good point.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1947742' date='Aug 13 2009, 05:47 AM']Yeah that makes me even more jealous. I would love to someday study midwifery myself.[/quote]
One of my neighbours teaches midwifery and NFP.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1947935' date='Aug 13 2009, 07:25 AM']One of my neighbours teaches midwifery and NFP.[/quote]
Does she do long-distance consults in Minnesota?



I don't think my husband (or I for that matter) would go for more studying at the moment but maybe someday.