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End Of Discernment


OnlySunshine

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OnlySunshine

My doctor confirmed today that my chronic illness has returned. I was started on medication right away. The most important thing was that she said I got in there very quickly because I recognized the signs and symptoms, so this time around should not be so bad. I will probably have to stay on a low dose of medication for the rest of my life since I have tried to come off several times and it just doesn't work out. It doesn't appear that God desires me to be a religious because all the religious communities I have contacted say that I cannot have this illness and that I must be off the medication for at least a year. I am starting to see God's will and I am getting comfortable with the idea. It would be a miracle if I could find a religious order that would take me with the illness and medication, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.

Please say some prayers for me. Thanks.

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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='30 July 2010 - 02:46 PM' timestamp='1280519190' post='2149968']
My doctor confirmed today that my chronic illness has returned. I was started on medication right away. The most important thing was that she said I got in there very quickly because I recognized the signs and symptoms, so this time around should not be so bad. I will probably have to stay on a low dose of medication for the rest of my life since I have tried to come off several times and it just doesn't work out. It doesn't appear that God desires me to be a religious because all the religious communities I have contacted say that I cannot have this illness and that I must be off the medication for at least a year. I am starting to see God's will and I am getting comfortable with the idea. It would be a miracle if I could find a religious order that would take me with the illness and medication, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.

Please say some prayers for me. Thanks.
[/quote]

Oh Mater! I'm so sorry! And, I suspect I understand more than you know. But, I gave you unneeded advice, and I apologize for that. People give me lots of advice that is well-meaning, but doesn't apply because they don't understand. Forgive me for doing what I criticize in others.

I have a saying that I developed in my secular way. "There is always a Plan B."

If you need to mourn, that makes sense to me. But, when you're ready, we'll all be here to give you lots of encouragement as you develop your own "Plan B" (or "Plan C," "Plan D") or however many plans it takes for things to work out. I have decided for myself that my condition does not define me, as yours does not define you. You are a good person, who loves God, and wants to serve him in whatever way he wants. That is the ONLY thing that matters. Post when you feel like it. In the meantime I'll add my pitifully weak prayers to those of the "prayer experts" among us.

Edited by IgnatiusofLoyola
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OnlySunshine

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='30 July 2010 - 04:09 PM' timestamp='1280520542' post='2149971']
Oh Mater! I'm so sorry! And, I understand more than you know.

There's that old saying that when God closes a door, he opens a window. They just don't say that sometimes it takes years for the window to open, or what you're supposed to do when the window is 12 ft high and you don't have a ladder, or what to do if God not only closes a door, but the walls collapse and the floor falls through. Some people are helped by those little sayings. To me, they are just a little bit "pat" and don't reflect life. But, you know me, I'm not one for "gushy" and "gooey" stuff, and I know those sayings help others. It's just that in my life, they haven't applied or helped.

But, I have an alternate saying, that I developed in my secular way that maybe in the end is the same thing, "There is always a Plan B."

I'm going to refrain from advice today, and let you mourn. But, when you're ready, I'll give you lots of encouragement as you develop your own "Plan B" (or "Plan C," "Plan D") or however many plans it takes for things to work out.

Post when you feel like it.
[/quote]

To be honest, I am not really all that upset. I prayed that I would find His will and that whatever it was, that I would be able to accept it with an honest and open heart. If God does not desire me to be a religious, then I accept that. I will support vocations in hopes that if I cannot answer the call that someone else will be able to. I surrender, so to speak.

Right now, I am comfortable with remaining in the world and being single. I need to be healthy again and that's what my focus will be on. :) Thank you for your kind words and prayers. And don't worry! I'll still post on VS even though I am no longer discerning. God bless.

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OnlySunshine

Also, I am thinking about possibly joining a Third Order/Lay Dominican community in the future. But we'll see. :)

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lookingforfaith

*Hugs to you* I'm sorry that your illness has returned! But you are 100% right. You need to focus on getting yourself healthy and to a place where you can discern where God is calling you too more fully. God bless!!!

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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='30 July 2010 - 03:24 PM' timestamp='1280521461' post='2149975']
To be honest, I am not really all that upset. I prayed that I would find His will and that whatever it was, that I would be able to accept it with an honest and open heart. If God does not desire me to be a religious, then I accept that. I will support vocations in hopes that if I cannot answer the call that someone else will be able to. I surrender, so to speak.

Right now, I am comfortable with remaining in the world and being single. I need to be healthy again and that's what my focus will be on. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img] Thank you for your kind words and prayers. And don't worry! I'll still post on VS even though I am no longer discerning. God bless.
[/quote]

I'm really pleased to hear that you're not feeling all that upset. It sounds good to me that your focus will be on getting healthy.

Note: I rewrote my post to you above for various reasons. I apologize for offering advice in a situation I knew nothing about. I hate it when people do that to me, and yet, I went and and did what I criticize in others.

The most important thing I finally learned was that my illness does not define who I am. And, if anyone told me I would become a better person because of my illness I would have told them they were lying. I became a better person despite myself. It sounds as if you are already a better person than I am, and are becoming wise. I'm glad you'll still post on VS.

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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='30 July 2010 - 03:26 PM' timestamp='1280521594' post='2149976']
Also, I am thinking about possibly joining a Third Order/Lay Dominican community in the future. But we'll see. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]
[/quote]

That sounds like a good option. At least you're thinking Dominican. You'll get a better night's sleep if you're not always having ecstacies! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/cool.gif[/img] I'm so mean. I hope the "Little Flower" has a sense of humor. With my luck, she'll take revenge and start following me around. But, I'm hoping the good, practical, German, Blessed Pauline, whose Sisters live across the street from me, will suggest to the Little Flower that she'll have more success if she concentrates on others. The Blessed Pauline has lived across the street from me too long, and under her eye, I HAVE become more practical and realistic, and I'm hoping she'll refuse to share me with the Little Flower.

And, the PPC accepts anyone who wants to join!

P.S. If you ever feel like it, turn on your PM's, and I'll share with you some things I don't feel comfortable putting in the forum. I'm a "lifer," too.

Edited by IgnatiusofLoyola
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OnlySunshine

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='30 July 2010 - 04:59 PM' timestamp='1280523588' post='2149996']
I'm really pleased to hear that you're not feeling all that upset. It sounds good to me that your focus will be on getting healthy.

Note: I rewrote my post to you above for various reasons. I apologize for offering advice in a situation I knew nothing about. I hate it when people do that to me, and yet, I went and and did what I criticize in others.

The most important thing I finally learned was that my illness does not define who I am. And, if anyone told me I would become a better person because of my illness I would have told them they were lying. I became a better person despite myself. It sounds as if you are already a better person than I am, and are becoming wise. I'm glad you'll still post on VS.
[/quote]


Don't worry about it. God bless. :)

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[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='30 July 2010 - 05:26 PM' timestamp='1280521594' post='2149976']
Also, I am thinking about possibly joining a Third Order/Lay Dominican community in the future. But we'll see. :)
[/quote]

Just wanted to say that that's awesome! The Church truly needs people in those areas as well. [url="http://www.3op.org/"]This site[/url] has great info on that vocation.

You're in my prayers!

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OnlySunshine

[quote name='holly.o' date='30 July 2010 - 06:53 PM' timestamp='1280530436' post='2150031']
Just wanted to say that that's awesome! The Church truly needs people in those areas as well. [url="http://www.3op.org/"]This site[/url] has great info on that vocation.

You're in my prayers!
[/quote]


I would definitely be in good company! St Rose of Lima and St Catherine of Siena were both Dominican tertiaries. :)

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Just wondering something. Might there be a natural supplement that would help the problem, or for ex. physical therapy, etc.? It just makes me wonder if an order would be okay with the condition as long as you were on a natural product? Maybe looking at various treatments for the condition?

I know for myself, with my emotional/mental issue, I've been going for counseling in dealing with past hurts, and dealing with stressors, and it has helped tremendously. I am on medicines for some different things, but I plan to knock it down to just the ADHD medicine, and hopefully and prayerfully an order will accept me with it. I trust God will make a way. I also just found out through two sleep studies that I have mild sleep apnea, so if it works for me, I may have to lug a CPAP air mask and equipment into an order! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/biglol.gif[/img] Yippee. Aren't I lucky? [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/hehehe.gif[/img]

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OnlySunshine

[quote name='JoyfulLife' date='30 July 2010 - 08:33 PM' timestamp='1280536399' post='2150060']
Just wondering something. Might there be a natural supplement that would help the problem, or for ex. physical therapy, etc.? It just makes me wonder if an order would be okay with the condition as long as you were on a natural product? Maybe looking at various treatments for the condition?

I know for myself, with my emotional/mental issue, I've been going for counseling in dealing with past hurts, and dealing with stressors, and it has helped tremendously. I am on medicines for some different things, but I plan to knock it down to just the ADHD medicine, and hopefully and prayerfully an order will accept me with it. I trust God will make a way. I also just found out through two sleep studies that I have mild sleep apnea, so if it works for me, I may have to lug a CPAP air mask and equipment into an order! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/biglol.gif[/img] Yippee. Aren't I lucky? [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/hehehe.gif[/img]
[/quote]


Unfortunately, natural programs won't work for the illness I have. It has to do with a chemical imbalance so only meds work.

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It's incredible with the sleep apnea because family never noticed/told me about any odd sleeping behaviors. I went in for the study due to mental fatigue and sleepiness in the day. It's amazing all the symptoms it [i]CAN[/i] cause: frequently waking up, dry mouth, headaches, depression, fatigue, psychosis, having problems with memory and concentration, experiencing personality changes, etc. It can lead to a diagnosis of ADHD, too, which I have. My doctor said using the CPAP air mask may reduce my ADHD symptoms, and even cut down on my medicine for it. Studies have shown that the apnea actually causes some brain damage, and that air mask therapy brings healing to the brain. It will be interesting to see what it helps me with...



Heh, so this is how I'll be sleeping... It looks so silly.
[url="http://www.centerforsoundsleep.com/images/cpap.png"]http://www.centerforsoundsleep.com/images/cpap.png[/url][url="http://www.ohiohealth.com/mayo/images/image_popup/r7_cpap.jpg"][/url]

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OnlySunshine

[quote name='JoyfulLife' date='31 July 2010 - 12:36 AM' timestamp='1280550989' post='2150153']
It's incredible with the sleep apnea because family never noticed/told me about any odd sleeping behaviors. I went in for the study due to mental fatigue and sleepiness in the day. It's amazing all the symptoms it [i]CAN[/i] cause: frequently waking up, dry mouth, headaches, depression, fatigue, psychosis, having problems with memory and concentration, experiencing personality changes, etc. It can lead to a diagnosis of ADHD, too, which I have. My doctor said using the CPAP air mask may reduce my ADHD symptoms, and even cut down on my medicine for it. Studies have shown that the apnea actually causes some brain damage, and that air mask therapy brings healing to the brain. It will be interesting to see what it helps me with...



Heh, so this is how I'll be sleeping... It looks so silly.
[url="http://www.centerforsoundsleep.com/images/cpap.png"]http://www.centerforsoundsleep.com/images/cpap.png[/url][url="http://www.ohiohealth.com/mayo/images/image_popup/r7_cpap.jpg"][/url]
[/quote]

One of the residents I cared for in the nursing home had to wear a CPAP machine to bed. I saw him with it on and it does look very strange! :lol:

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