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What the hey?? I'm being pulled in SO many directions. College after high school? OR straight to nun-dom? Mom and most around me say college, but Sr.MJ and the rest of Carmel say no college. But I'm stuck. I don't know what I want to do anymore because of the tugs and pushes from everywhere. What am I supposed to do? How should I discern this? I'M SO CONFUSED

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[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1318539553' post='2320771'] FYI, I'm not going into a cloister. [/quote] Your eagerness is beautiful to see, and the honesty and candour with which y

No, a Benedictine. It's a tall dark stranger with an edging of white round the head and neck. I see it, it grows ever clearer...

You know... in the case of the maturity argument... I honestly think a young person matures [i]better[/i] in the convent than in college! College really doesn't give you much in the way of real world

I was the same way. I wanted to enter right away after I graduated. Sr. C, a Franciscan sister and my campus minister, said to go to university. My parents said I had to go. My priest friend said I should go.

And I'm at university now. I love it. I'm growing in my faith and discernment, I finally have a spiritual director, I'm now teaching catechism to kindergarteners (never thought that would happen! :) ), and just loving where I am. Because I didn't enter right away I found an order I really feel called to and does everything I could ever wish an order to be!

I'd talk to your SD about it. Pray it over. You don't have to go to an expensive university--I'm at a state school with a scholarship and so I will have no debt. I know your state has an amesome program for college tuition. I'm going to PM you, though.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

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[quote name='the171' timestamp='1318289334' post='2319350']
What the hey?? I'm being pulled in SO many directions. College after high school? OR straight to nun-dom? Mom and most around me say college, but Sr.MJ and the rest of Carmel say no college. But I'm stuck. I don't know what I want to do anymore because of the tugs and pushes from everywhere. What am I supposed to do? How should I discern this? I'M SO CONFUSED
[/quote]

Do you have a spiritual director?

Methinks that if the Mother Prioress knows you well enough (since you have visited many times), maybe you should listen to her instead of your mom. Parents want what is best for us, but sometimes, they don't truly know what that is. This is something you have to discern for yourself.

Most religious communities that have later acceptance ages (like 21 instead of 17) want applicants to experience life such as college and work in the secular world before making such a choice. I am glad that I went to college, even if it was community college and not a major university (United States is different than Europe, BTW, to all you Europeans). Now that I'm almost done with my 2-year degree, I believe that I am ready to take on the idea of religious life, but that doesn't mean that my education is over. Since I am looking into an active/contemplative order that stresses the importance of professional studies, I will, more than likely, get my Bachelor's and a higher degree later on if I enter. :)

The difference for you is that you are looking into cloistered life where a Bachelor's degree is not really necessary. The only reason you would get it is to mature before entering and/or have something to fall back on.

Edited by MaterMisericordiae
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[quote name='the171' timestamp='1318289334' post='2319350']
What the hey?? I'm being pulled in SO many directions. College after high school? OR straight to nun-dom? Mom and most around me say college, but Sr.MJ and the rest of Carmel say no college. But I'm stuck. I don't know what I want to do anymore because of the tugs and pushes from everywhere. What am I supposed to do? How should I discern this? I'M SO CONFUSED
[/quote]

D,

That is indeed a dilemma, I will be praying for you. As you pray about which path to take just seek for peace and trust the Lord to guide you. What is in your heart? Do you wish to begin formation as soon as possible or do you wish to spend more time "out"? The great thing is if the Lord wants you in college first, you will know because even within the cloister He will guide you there. If you choose to go to college first you do run the risk of incurring student debt (don't know about your situation)

I know some sisters who enter right after high school and have not looked back because they knew that is what God wanted of them. I also know of others who entered, left to finish college and returned. Just trust that he will help you make the right decision.

Pax,
HB

BTW, my opinion is to enter after HS

Edited by HopefulBride
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[quote name='the171' timestamp='1318289334' post='2319350']
What the hey?? I'm being pulled in SO many directions. College after high school? OR straight to nun-dom? Mom and most around me say college, but Sr.MJ and the rest of Carmel say no college. But I'm stuck. I don't know what I want to do anymore because of the tugs and pushes from everywhere. What am I supposed to do? How should I discern this? I'M SO CONFUSED
[/quote]
[quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1318289881' post='2319361']

D,

That is indeed a dilemma, I will be praying for you. As you pray about which path to take just seek for peace and trust the Lord to guide you. What is in your heart? Do you wish to begin formation as soon as possible or do you wish to spend more time "out"? The great thing is if the Lord wants you in college first, you will know because even within the cloister He will guide you there. If you choose to go to college first you do run the risk of incurring student debt (don't know about your situation)

I know some sisters who enter right after high school and have not looked back because they knew that is what God wanted of them. I also know of others who entered, left to finish college and returned. Just trust that he will help you make the right decision.

Pax,
HB
[/quote]

Yes, HB is right on the money. If you are discerning, incurring student debt would be a huge impediment to entrance and would make you wait several years before answering the call. My friend, who entered religious life, was encouraged to continue with her education because it was paid for with full scholarships so incurring debt was not an issue for her. If you had the same opportunity, then it would be something to think about, but if you have to take out a student loan to go to college, I would not do it.

Before I got in touch with the RSMs, I spoke to the VD for the SsEWs and told her that I was looking into going onto getting my Bachelor's degree but was worried about student debt. She told me the same thing I'm telling you now -- to enter and discern religious life. If I discerned that religious life was not my calling, I could always go to school afterward because it would always be there, but religious life may be closed off as an option if I waited.

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I do have an amazing SD, and thankfully I'm confirming this year. A year early, oy. But anyways, I'm looking to go to a Catholic university and my state doesn't house many. Well, a majority of those it does are rather....unorthodox. So a few universities are being thrown towards me. UnivDallas, Thomas Aquinas, WyomingCat, FranSteub, and a small amount of others. Off that topic, I feel since God called me a t such a young age, that I can;t keep him waiting. I'm on the boat with LPS. My family is requiring that I go to college. And because I'll be 17 when I graduate, if they oppose, no entrance. Thus, the plot thickens and my head spins.

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I don't think that either choice will be the end of the world. If you enter early and for any reason decide to leave, then you will still be young enough to go back to college. If you go to college first, you will still be young enough to enter after that. So return to a state of peace in prayer and let your heart guide you to what is right for you now.

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[quote name='the171' timestamp='1318291469' post='2319387']
I do have an amazing SD, and thankfully I'm confirming this year. A year early, oy. But anyways, I'm looking to go to a Catholic university and my state doesn't house many. Well, a majority of those it does are rather....unorthodox. So a few universities are being thrown towards me. UnivDallas, Thomas Aquinas, WyomingCat, FranSteub, and a small amount of others. Off that topic, I feel since God called me a t such a young age, that I can;t keep him waiting. I'm on the boat with LPS. My family is requiring that I go to college. And because I'll be 17 when I graduate, if they oppose, no entrance. Thus, the plot thickens and my head spins.
[/quote]


Just a thought, but maybe you could appease your parents and take a few courses at the nearby junior college instead of a major university until you turn 18. By then, you won't need your parents' permission to enter and you will be free to apply. I've gotten my education solely at the junior college level and have no student debt thanks to my savings, scholarships, and with the help of my parents and grandparents. I'm about to graduate this December with my 2-year Associates in Arts degree (provided that I pass this last course, that is). ;)

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[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1318291888' post='2319397']


Just a thought, but maybe you could appease your parents and take a few courses at the nearby junior college instead of a major university until you turn 18. By then, you won't need your parents' permission to enter and you will be free to apply. I've gotten my education solely at the junior college level and have no student debt thanks to my savings, scholarships, and with the help of my parents and grandparents. I'm about to graduate this December with my 2-year Associates in Arts degree (provided that I pass this last course, that is). ;)
[/quote]

I thought about that, but there's only a university here. Cheaper than most, but still leaves debt. There's another school. But I'm not sure about what it is. I wouldn't want to spend that money just to please my parents. It would feel frivilous, almost useless.

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[quote name='the171' timestamp='1318292594' post='2319409']

I thought about that, but there's only a university here. Cheaper than most, but still leaves debt. There's another school. But I'm not sure about what it is. I wouldn't want to spend that money just to please my parents. It would feel frivilous, almost useless.
[/quote]

You can take classes online, too, at most junior colleges. Are you sure there is only a university where you live? Sometimes, junior colleges are difficult to locate.

Believe me, I understand about not wanting to accumulate debt. I don't want to either just to get a Bachelor's degree before I enter which is why I've decided to start discerning seriously now. The only reason I am finishing my 2-year degree is because I was already at the end and it felt like a waste not to get it when I've been working on it off and on for 9 years. ;)

Edited by MaterMisericordiae
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Yes, I forgot about how much debt Americans get into by going to college because that doesn't happen in Australia. So in that case, perhaps enter first... if you leave, still time to go to college. And if you stay, then all the better!!! :)

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[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1318292886' post='2319415']
Yes, I forgot about how much debt Americans get into by going to college because that doesn't happen in Australia. So in that case, perhaps enter first... if you leave, still time to go to college. And if you stay, then all the better!!! :)
[/quote]

that's what I told my mom.

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I'm at one of those schools you mentioned, and was in an eerily similar situation before I graduated high school. I've loved my time here, and haven't regretted one day. God called me to be a student in the world for four more years, and the formation I've received has been invaluable.

If you'd like more information about my school and/or discernment, please feel free to PM. :)

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I've been debating/praying about college and right now I am leaning towards going to college. I will then have an education if I don't wind up entering, and I can probably get it for free, if I get a high enough SAT score. If I wait I can't get a free ride. But I hate the thought of having to wait another four years when it already seems like its so long in high school! But i want to be dominican so i figure maybe its best to get an education

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