Jennifer Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Prayers for your friend at this time.I do hope that eveyrthing works out well for her. She is truly blessed having you as a friend MM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tally Marx Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Praying for her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Continued prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMariaPurissima Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Poor thing! I will keep her in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Yes, continued prayers as she re-adapts. Time does help, and as others have said, He still has her in His arms........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictlyinkblot Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Continued prayers for her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I read this thread earlier this week and found myself at a loss for words. I know the pain of rejection -- but a week isn't much time at all. All I thought of is how sometimes the vocational journey is seriously affected by one or two sisters, whose opinion can make or break the possibility of continuing on. All I can say is this -- it is a blessing in disguise. Your friend just doesn't know it yet. As far as you supporting her -- be there for her, but give her space as needed. Let her bring the topic up ... especially once she returns home. My case was far different ... but when I finally returned from my one year of hell, I was a mess, and it took a very long time before the friendships that I had prior to leaving community were restored to some degree. Shoot -- it took me years to recover. Hopefully her case will be a less amount of time, but nonetheless it will take a bit of time. Be supportive ... I'm sure what she needs most is a loving arm to just listen and cry on. And of course your prayers (and ours). She will be in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 (edited) [quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1336792541' post='2429968'] I read this thread earlier this week and found myself at a loss for words. I know the pain of rejection -- but a week isn't much time at all. All I thought of is how sometimes the vocational journey is seriously affected by one or two sisters, whose opinion can make or break the possibility of continuing on. All I can say is this -- it is a blessing in disguise. Your friend just doesn't know it yet. As far as you supporting her -- be there for her, but give her space as needed. Let her bring the topic up ... especially once she returns home. My case was far different ... but when I finally returned from my one year of hell, I was a mess, and it took a very long time before the friendships that I had prior to leaving community were restored to some degree. Shoot -- it took me years to recover. Hopefully her case will be a less amount of time, but nonetheless it will take a bit of time. Be supportive ... I'm sure what she needs most is a loving arm to just listen and cry on. And of course your prayers (and ours). She will be in my prayers. [/quote] Thank you for the advice. Having never experienced entering an order and being forced to leave, I am unable to realize how much she is suffering right now. I had to stop thinking about it for a while because it was making me cynical about the order she entered. I keep having to remind myself that even though I know my friend is trustworthy, I don't have both sides of the story. I don't know what really happened and it isn't fair to criticize either party. My mom told me that even though I am an adult and I can do what I want, she would prefer it if I didn't get too involved since I am discerning religious life for myself right now. She doesn't want this experience to make me biased and cynical. I am a very stubborn person and I know she is right about this things. I want to be there for my friend but I also need to make sure that I don't close myself based on another's experiences. It wouldn't be right. Right now, I am not emailing her or trying to text her. I responded to her email from a few days ago but I am going no further until I hear from her again. I don't want to push it. She is more open to discussing things with another CRHP friend so I'm going to respect her choices. Edited May 12, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNJM Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 (edited) I will pray for her. Honestly, there is no such thing as a "belated vocation." even if someone felt the stirrings early in life and waited - God calls when He does, and in His Providence, if it is the right time, the right home will be found. We must remember that a vocation - a true vocation - carries with it supernatural grace. For those who enter late, and then say they "felt" it earlier ... well, in looking at the live of the saints, I would they were. Wing prepared. We can never pretend to know God's will, so please do not consider a mature vocation a belated end! I am in a community but not a Sister of the Holy Names. Our Prioess and Council just voted to talk each Vocation as an individual grace, without regard to age. We all feel very happy about this. Edited May 12, 2012 by SNJM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
organwerke Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 [quote name='SNJM' timestamp='1336802004' post='2430003'] I will pray for her. Honestly, there is no such thing as a "belated vocation." even if someone felt the stirrings early in life and waited - God calls when He does, and in His Providence, if it is the right time, the right home will be found. We must remember that a vocation - a true vocation - carries with it supernatural grace. For those who enter late, and then say they "felt" it earlier ... well, in looking at the live of the saints, I would they were. Wing prepared. We can never pretend to know God's will, so please do not consider a mature vocation a belated end! I am in a community but not a Sister of the Holy Names. Our Prioess and Council just voted to talk each Vocation as an individual grace, without regard to age. We all feel very happy about this. [/quote] Are you a sister? Maybe you can ask for a religious tag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I feel as if I should have something inspiring to say about this topic since it has happened to me too, but honestly, every situation and every person is different and each one of will experience rejection in a different way and recover from it in their own way and time as well. Rejection hurts. It doesn't matter who or what situation rejects us, it always hurts and often creates feelings of self-doubt or even resentment and/or bitterness. In hindsight (which is always 20/20 it seems) I know that these dark situations have the potential to bring one closer to God and to teach trust in Him, but while it is happening, it can seem almost as if even He has rejected our offering. Be there for your friend, as you are doing, in her time and according to her needs, while she and God sort this thing out between them. You are right not to blame the community because He uses tools when He shapes us, and while it might seem as if a community has 'made a mistake'; in the long run, it doesn't really matter one way or the other if they have, because that is all happening on a human level and God is working on a much deeper, spiritual level for the good of the soul. The love that He has for each one of us is beyond our comprehension to grasp, so how can we begin to understand some of the ways that He shows that love to us? With time and prayers on her behalf, you friend will get over this hurt and pain and humiliation. And in the center of all her suffering is Our Lord, who suffered so much for us, to bring us to Him. As trite as it sounds (and perhaps much too difficult for her to hear right now) is that this experience is a great grace for her. Your gift to her is to stay strong in the faith, positive about religious life in general, and not to encourage her to feel bitterness or resentment for the community that did this. When she does talk to you again, if she needs to vent, ok, but help her to keep in mind that Jesus forgave those who crucified Him and He gives her the strength to forgive those who have hurt her. In some ways, she is very fortunate this happened at the beginning because any relationship grows closer over time and the longer one is in a relationship, the deeper the cut if rejection does happen. She may have loved this community but her attachment to them was still in its infancy stages. It doesn't make the pain less, but perhaps it will shorten the recovery time. Our prayers go out to her for comfort and strength and a forgiving heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1336845392' post='2430069'] I feel as if I should have something inspiring to say about this topic since it has happened to me too, but honestly, every situation and every person is different and each one of will experience rejection in a different way and recover from it in their own way and time as well. Rejection hurts. It doesn't matter who or what situation rejects us, it always hurts and often creates feelings of self-doubt or even resentment and/or bitterness. In hindsight (which is always 20/20 it seems) I know that these dark situations have the potential to bring one closer to God and to teach trust in Him, but while it is happening, it can seem almost as if even He has rejected our offering. Be there for your friend, as you are doing, in her time and according to her needs, while she and God sort this thing out between them. You are right not to blame the community because He uses tools when He shapes us, and while it might seem as if a community has 'made a mistake'; in the long run, it doesn't really matter one way or the other if they have, because that is all happening on a human level and God is working on a much deeper, spiritual level for the good of the soul. The love that He has for each one of us is beyond our comprehension to grasp, so how can we begin to understand some of the ways that He shows that love to us? With time and prayers on her behalf, you friend will get over this hurt and pain and humiliation. And in the center of all her suffering is Our Lord, who suffered so much for us, to bring us to Him. As trite as it sounds (and perhaps much too difficult for her to hear right now) is that this experience is a great grace for her. Your gift to her is to stay strong in the faith, positive about religious life in general, and not to encourage her to feel bitterness or resentment for the community that did this. When she does talk to you again, if she needs to vent, ok, but help her to keep in mind that Jesus forgave those who crucified Him and He gives her the strength to forgive those who have hurt her. In some ways, she is very fortunate this happened at the beginning because any relationship grows closer over time and the longer one is in a relationship, the deeper the cut if rejection does happen. She may have loved this community but her attachment to them was still in its infancy stages. It doesn't make the pain less, but perhaps it will shorten the recovery time. Our prayers go out to her for comfort and strength and a forgiving heart. [/quote] Bless you, nunsense. I immediately thought of you when I heard what happened because I remember your own experience. It is always wonderful to get advice from people who have been there. I even asked advice from a friend who had this happen as well and her situation was reconciled. The Sisters that my friend entered are a terrific community. They do so much for the Church and are members of CMSWR and IRL. I really appreciate your prayers and support for my friend. I would respond longer but I am exhausted from having a 7 hour garage sale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 I heard from my friend again today and she is in town. She wants me to meet up with her for Mass, which is a VERY good thing as she stated earlier that she didn't think she could go. I don't know if it was my email that helped but I don't really care. I'm just glad to hear that her mood has lifted and she is coming around. She told me she is applying to go to Israel to help in the refugee camps and plans to be there next year. Until then, she is going out of state next week to do contract nursing. Without giving any specifics on names or the community, I am really surprised by what she said about what happened. Apparently, it was only one of the Superiors that didn't think she should try the life. Everyone else on the council wanted her to stay. I don't if I would have left so soon if I were in her shoes. I would try to stick it out and prove that, in spite of my age, I believed it is where God wanted me to be. It reminded me of Sr. Augustine from the "Therese" movie. She never wanted St. Therese or her sisters there because she thought St. Therese was given preference since her 2 sisters -- Marie and Pauline -- had already entered. But, for any of you that have seen the movie, Therese just kept on working in spite of the hardship caused by one Sister. Sr. Augustine changed her mind at the end and was just as distraught as the other Sisters when St. Therese was dying. Anyway, please pray for my friend to continue trying to find God's will. She has come to the conclusion that she shouldn't simply give up because of this one issue. But she thinks she needs more time. I pray that God will speak to her heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPetiteSoeur Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Will continue to pray! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Praying and praying! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts