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Poll: Discernment Rings


Discernment Rings  

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MarysLittleFlower

I voted no, and I don't want to. 

First, in French, "un anneau" (a ring), is ONLY for wedding (or the Lord of the Ring...). What you call a "discernment/purity rings", are "une bague" here (a band in english). But I confused the two when I was reading. 

Secondly, it's not in the tradition of France to have purity rings. I find them ridiculous, honestly, like the WWJD bracelet. It's all about "look at me, I am so catholic and pure". I know it's not the goal, but it looks like this. Also, here, people don't care if you are married or not. Plus, I am an adult, and I am able to say "not interested". And last, I don't like jewellery. I only have close boy friend (like, good friend who are boy. not boyfriend !), and I may be a little influenced by them... I only wear a family jewellery.

I didn't know this about France must be an American thing ;)  however I have to say I don't see my ring as a purity ring. Purity ring to me means "I'm saving myself for my husband" and I don't plan to have a husband... Or it means "I will live purely" but I don't really need a reminder of that personally. It might be helpful for teens potentially. 

For me the ring is most similar to a ring like how nuns wear them though I haven't made an 'official' vow yet in the Church. It means that I've given myself to Jesus and I wear it because I thought it would help to have something external as a reminder​, when my discernment gets difficult... I've personally found that to work. :) So I see it less like a purity ring. It looks like a wedding ring though in the style and the engraving on it is light (so generally only I see it) and in Latin. Most people don't know what it means.

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This is not a problem that I struggle with...  :hehe2:   Once, I thought I might try wearing a "chastity ring" but that only invited comments about my supposed engagement, and it was really awkward

I have one that has a cross made out of sapphire. It also has the words, "With God, all things are possible," written on the inside of the band. I originally used it as my purity ring, but now that I'

See, I am rather opposed to the above. I know it is different with consecrated virginity, because there is no "post-entrance" preparation period before consecration.  But in my opinion a person who is

You will have a husband, you will be the bride of Christ ! But I see what you want to say ;) 

But, I don't know how to phrase it... If you wear a ring now, I think the ring that you will (maybe) wear as a nun will feel... less important, less powerfull ? I see it, a little like... If I decided to wear a veil (not a nun veil, a veil like a scarf or amish veil), because I would want to remember that I belong to God and Jesus before belonging to man, then, after, wearing a veil as a nun would seems less important ? I don't know if I am clear... I don't think is a "big thing", though, and if it works for you, great ! I am just not a fan... 

 

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MarysLittleFlower

You will have a husband, you will be the bride of Christ ! But I see what you want to say ;) 

But, I don't know how to phrase it... If you wear a ring now, I think the ring that you will (maybe) wear as a nun will feel... less important, less powerfull ? I see it, a little like... If I decided to wear a veil (not a nun veil, a veil like a scarf or amish veil), because I would want to remember that I belong to God and Jesus before belonging to man, then, after, wearing a veil as a nun would seems less important ? I don't know if I am clear... I don't think is a "big thing", though, and if it works for you, great ! I am just not a fan... 

 

I do see what you mean... The way I see it is like if a person offered their heart to God and found it difficult to wait till they make a formal vow to make SOME sort of commitment. I dont know if that sounds kind of funny. :) I​ mean I'm not consecrated and I don't have everything that comes with making a formal vow... I'm just talking about making the offering in your heart. If I become a nun then I'll be glad the Church has made it official and has accepted it, and then its more like being a bride of Christ... Now its like having the hope of being this but leaving it to God and the Church..  Offering yourself and everything else is up to Him :) maybe the ring is a sign of my impatience lol! But being a nun or making a vow in the Church would be like the completion. 

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:o)Katherine:o)

For me the ring is most similar to a ring like how nuns wear them though I haven't made an 'official' vow yet in the Church. It means that I've given myself to Jesus and I wear it because I thought it would help to have something external as a reminder​, when my discernment gets difficult... I've personally found that to work. :) So I see it less like a purity ring. It looks like a wedding ring though in the style and the engraving on it is light (so generally only I see it) and in Latin. Most people don't know what it means.

​I feel the same way! I wear a crucifix ring on my ring finger. I like to think of it as my "engagement" ring. While I have not entered a community or taken vows I have surrendered my life to Jesus. When things get difficult it is a gentle reminder of my "yes" to Him. I have also found that when I am struggling with temptation that it is a bit easier to avoid it because I see the crucifix on my finger. I am not saying that it prevents me 100% but it does help. So glad that wearing your ring means so much to you!

 

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I voted no, and I don't want to. 

First, in French, "un anneau" (a ring), is ONLY for wedding (or the Lord of the Ring...). What you call a "discernment/purity rings", are "une bague" here (a band in english). But I confused the two when I was reading. 

Secondly, it's not in the tradition of France to have purity rings. I find them ridiculous, honestly, like the WWJD bracelet. It's all about "look at me, I am so catholic and pure". I know it's not the goal, but it looks like this. Also, here, people don't care if you are married or not. Plus, I am an adult, and I am able to say "not interested". And last, I don't like jewellery. I only have close boy friend (like, good friend who are boy. not boyfriend !), and I may be a little influenced by them... I only wear a family jewellery.

​I feel like you about being able to simply say "not interested", as I said in my earlier post on this topic. I wouldn't wear a ring without some kind of formal commitment.

Purity rings feel much weirder than discernment rings to me. Why just a purity ring? Why not also get a ring to remind you not to bear false witness or covet your neighbour's ox? The idea of singling out purity like this makes me a bit uncomfortable, as it can just as easily tip into some sort of obsession with sex (see that whole subset of evangelical 'purity culture' where fathers present their daughters with the rings - ick). 

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​I feel the same way! I wear a crucifix ring on my ring finger. I like to think of it as my "engagement" ring. While I have not entered a community or taken vows I have surrendered my life to Jesus. When things get difficult it is a gentle reminder of my "yes" to Him. I have also found that when I am struggling with temptation that it is a bit easier to avoid it because I see the crucifix on my finger. I am not saying that it prevents me 100% but it does help. So glad that wearing your ring means so much to you!

 

​Welcome Katherine!

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MarysLittleFlower

​I feel the same way! I wear a crucifix ring on my ring finger. I like to think of it as my "engagement" ring. While I have not entered a community or taken vows I have surrendered my life to Jesus. When things get difficult it is a gentle reminder of my "yes" to Him. I have also found that when I am struggling with temptation that it is a bit easier to avoid it because I see the crucifix on my finger. I am not saying that it prevents me 100% but it does help. So glad that wearing your ring means so much to you!

 

​Hi Katherine, I see this is your first post, welcome to the Phorum! :) I'm glad to know there's someone who has a similar experience about this. I find having my ring helps me too especially because I have a job that involves a lot of travelling (walking around the city, taking buses, etc,) and somehow it helps me to not get distracted about my decision as I'm out in "the world".

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MarysLittleFlower

I wanted to vote in the poll but I can't figure it out.. does your right ring finger count as a wedding ring finger? I should know I guess but I'm from a different culture where people actually wear wedding rings on their right hand. (Eastern Europe).

I had to decide whether to wear my ring on the right or left hand. I decided on the right hand for various reasons... it emphasizes for me that it has a spiritual meaning (though if I entered an order that wore rings on the left hand that's fine), it's more according to my culture, but also in my job I'm called "Ms" and it would confuse everyone if I were to wear a very "wedding" looking ring on my left hand. This way it's just kind of a secret thing between me and God and no one can see much less understand the engraving.

If you wear a ring, what hand do you wear it on?

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MarysLittleFlower

​I feel like you about being able to simply say "not interested", as I said in my earlier post on this topic. I wouldn't wear a ring without some kind of formal commitment.

Purity rings feel much weirder than discernment rings to me. Why just a purity ring? Why not also get a ring to remind you not to bear false witness or covet your neighbour's ox? The idea of singling out purity like this makes me a bit uncomfortable, as it can just as easily tip into some sort of obsession with sex (see that whole subset of evangelical 'purity culture' where fathers present their daughters with the rings - ick). 

​I guess the whole thing behind purity rings is that young people can be so strongly tempted towards impurity.. I mean especially teenagers in our culture. They might not get such overwhelming temptations to other things. Though I never wore a purity ring. (I thought of it though). I also didn't wear a ring that "I'm discerning". I only got one when I made a decision. I wondered too if I should wait until I've made some sort of formal commitment... it definitely makes sense to wear something like this after making a vow. I am leaving my ultimate vocation to God and to the Church to approve, and since I haven't made a formal vow in the Church yet, I am still waiting for a confirmation. However, this might take time and I was impatient, ;) but mostly it's just to encourage me when there are difficulties, as an external reminder that I've committed to something (provided it's God's Will of course!).

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:o)Katherine:o)

​Welcome Katherine!

​Thank you Marigold! :)

​Hi Katherine, I see this is your first post, welcome to the Phorum! :) I'm glad to know there's someone who has a similar experience about this. I find having my ring helps me too especially because I have a job that involves a lot of travelling (walking around the city, taking buses, etc,) and somehow it helps me to not get distracted about my decision as I'm out in "the world".

​MarysLittleFlower, yes a friend of mine suggested Phorum to me several times and I finally signed up!

I wanted to vote in the poll but I can't figure it out.. does your right ring finger count as a wedding ring finger? I should know I guess but I'm from a different culture where people actually wear wedding rings on their right hand. (Eastern Europe).

I had to decide whether to wear my ring on the right or left hand. I decided on the right hand for various reasons... it emphasizes for me that it has a spiritual meaning (though if I entered an order that wore rings on the left hand that's fine), it's more according to my culture, but also in my job I'm called "Ms" and it would confuse everyone if I were to wear a very "wedding" looking ring on my left hand. This way it's just kind of a secret thing between me and God and no one can see much less understand the engraving.

If you wear a ring, what hand do you wear it on?

​I am in the US and wear mine on my left hand on the ring finger which is also the wedding ring finger as far as I know. I could be wrong. That is beautiful that it has such a special meaning for you! 

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