Entering Carmel Christmas Eve

[To Jesus Through Mary]

Going to miss you Nunsense! Best wishes and I hope you feel better soon. See you in the Eucharist!

 

This is what I get for not reading the whole thread! I didn't realize you weren't leaving until 1/4! Premature goodbyes! :P

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

I know you arn't able to join until the 4th, but I have been saying some extra prayers for you today anyway...

[AccountDeleted]

Another good thing about still being outside the convent is that when I got home from Christmas Mass this morning, I was able to watch the Holy Father celebrate Midnight Mass at the Vatican! I couldn't go to midnight Mass last night because I wasn't well, so this was a real treat for me. That means I had just over an hour of Mass in Melbourne followed by two hours of Mass from the Vatican -  what a delight!
 
I then watched It's a Wonderful Life on TV and tonight my sister's family will be having a Christmas dinner and we will open our presents for each other. They went to visit my brother's family this afternoon - I still didn't feel well enough to go but I spoke with my brother on the phone, and have also been able to speak to family in the US. It has been a blessed Christmas for me, and I can see how wonderfully God takes care of everything for us, if we let Him.
 
The Holy Father mentioned in his homily that we need to let God show us his plans rather than trying to force our own -the actual wording was:
 
'We want what we can seize hold of, we want happiness that is within our reach, we want our plans and purposes to succeed.
We are so "full" of ourselves that there is no room left for God.' (Pope Benedict XVI)

 

He went on to talk about needing to have room for God in our lives which will allow us to have room for others and what struck me because of my own situation is just how self-centred I have been in only thinking about what I wanted.

 

Then to follow this off with It's a Wonderful Life reminded me that we live not only for ourselves but for others and that our life has an impact on every other person, just as theirs does on us. God was reminding me today that He took on human life to show us how to love one another as He loves us, not selfishly, but completely giving of ourselves.

 

The truly blessed thing for me this Christmas is that I was reminded just how much God cares and is personally involved in each one of our lives. We talk about Christmas miracles - well this Christmas has been a miracle for me.

 

Merry Christmas to all of us and God bless us everyone.

[Antigonos]

From what you write, I think this Christmas has been doubly blessed for you: your family will have lovely memories of this time with you before your entrance, and you will have the satisfaction of knowing that this experience will help to sustain them during what has to be, for them, a difficult adjustment to your new status.

Sorry about your stomach bug, but think positively: you are being saved, undoubtedly, from the sin of gluttony over the holiday! [giggle]

[remaoung]

Hopoefully you not messing around this time and don't that community again, they don't deserve it.

[AccountDeleted]

Hopoefully you not messing around this time and don't that community again, they don't deserve it.

 

Your post, from what I can understand of it, is both uncharitable and misinformed and therefore unworthy of a response. But as it may be that I am not fully grasping what you mean because of your English, I will assume that your intentions are well meaning and say this: the Prioress of the community has told me that she felt I needed to leave at the time I did to see if the solitary hermit vocation was for me. She knows everything that I have gone through over the past 5 years since I left there, not only because I have kept in constant touch with her via email but also because she and the rest of the community have all read my blog (now offline) which detailed everything from the time I left them up to the present day (she gave special permission to all the sisters to read it before they voted on accepting me back).

 

The current Prioress was also my former Novice Mistress so she knows exactly what I was going through at the time I left them. Even then she told me that she felt the Holy Spirit was with me in my decision. My former Prioress is now my Novice Mistress and she is the one who suggested that I re-apply as she felt that I was now ready to return. The community agreed with both her and the Prioress and they voted for me do a live-in first. At the end of my live-in they voted again and accepted me into the community. The Prioress wrote a letter of support for my visa application.

 

No community deserves to be badly treated just as no individual deserves to be badly treated by a community. In this situation, I have always held the community in my heart with love and they have responded in the same way. These sisters are my family, but a family is supportive and allows its members to do what is necessary for the well being of their soul and does not hold grudges. I lament any pain or hurt that I caused to individuals in the community at the time of my leaving, but on my return they responded as the father did to his prodigal son - with love, joyfulness and a warm welcome. Even those who took my leaving the hardest have shown me nothing but joy at my return - almost as if I had never left.

 

I left to pursue a hermit life and discerned that it was not my calling from God and that the place He had prepared for me in the beginning was the one where I had left my heart. When I asked to return to this Carmel, they told me I was not ready yet, so I tried several others. In some of those I was abused and mistreated and had no recourse but to leave. Even though I was the one who had been injured, I continue to maintain contact with two of those communities because I hold no grudges against them for their inability to protect me and have loving relationships with several of the nuns. For one of the communities, I do not communicate with them simply because I was there for too short a time to form any lasting relationships. When I left that one however, the Prioress (who was very kind although not able to protect me), waited with me for my taxi. I told her, ‘St Teresa said we have to do violence to our self-will. You know, Mother, I really tried.’ She replied, ‘Well, I think that someone has been doing violence to you and I am sorry for that. But I do believe you will end up in Carmel again somewhere.’

 

Now, in God's infinite mercy and kindness, He has allowed me to return to the original Carmel where I first entered, and to be welcomed home again.

 

I pray that you open your heart to the redeeming grace that forgives us our trespasses and helps us to forgive those who have trespassed against us. May God be with you and lead you towards a more charitable way of posting here.

[Blessed&Grateful]

sometimes the people who should be most charitable are the least, as a Catholic I strive to live a life that mirrors Jesus, yet on this catholic forumn I see too often snarky, hurtful comments, but Nunsense you replied with grace and dignity, so there is that.

[AnneLine]

Maybe, Nunsense, part of the reason for all of this --ALL of it-- was for you -- and for us -- to see God's grace working in transformative love.  

 

It has not been an easy few years, but oh Lord, how much God has been at work.  Now your spiritual trousseau is ready.  Now you are free to follow Him.

 

I thank you for sharing your journey with us, and we will continue to journey with you.  

 

Time and space are nothing for God.... we will continue to search for the Beloved together...

Edited December 25, 2012 by AnneLine