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I told my parents, I'm shaking right now. First my mother, she expected it but wasn't prepared for this. And she doesn't like the idea of me becoming a priest. My father didn't want to listen to what

BTW, if you think you don't yet know God's will, look at this:     "Dragging" is the exact same word one of the sisters I interviewed used when she was describing how she came to know her vocation

This is not a fun place to be in, I've been there and will probably have to go there again. Try to be patient it is a bit of a mourning process for them an anger is one of the stages. When they bring

  • 2 months later...

It wasn't really my intention, but during Lent I wasn't that much on PM, time for a little update. The past 2 months my parents gradually started to accept what I want to do, although we still don't agree about what and when. In the meanwhile I have visited the Belgian monastery as often as possible. Since december I'm following a course of gregorian chant there, so I "have" to be there at least 2 saturdays a month. But I usually go friday afternoon and spend the night, to be able to attend Mass saturday at 8am. I was there for Holy Week too. The priest was so happy, he needed help with all te ceremonies. I was appointed MC immediately. On Easter saturday the provincial SJM superior visited us. I met him before in the motherhouse (and on facebook). He asked if it was still difficult with my parents. I was kind of surprised he knew, but it's a good thing I guess they are talking about it :)

 

I also started to tell more of my friends I want to be a priest. They all react surprisingly well. Most of them saw it coming of course, and they are all happy for me. They are even planning visits to the motherhouse already. The rest of my family also reacts kind of good. I visited my grandparents yesterday, my grandmother even asked my cell phone number so she could call me when I'm gone (but I don't think I'm allowed to have my own phone, only the priests can have them).

 

The past weeks I've had my share of medical issues. First I had a terrible pain in the back. The doctor wasn't sure what it was so he sent me to the hospital. Turned out to be a kidneystone. Luckily I got rid of it pretty easily. But I still have 3 more in the kidneys, so I'll have the same problem again somewhere in the future. This week, they discovered I have Crohn's disease. At this moment it can't be cured, but it can be kept under control with pills. So I'm just hoping now this won't be an issue for entrance.

 

Tonight I'm meeting the archbishop. I'm kind of excited right now :)

 

 

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PadrePioOfPietrelcino

I'm happy for you NonNovi, I'll admit it was lonely here in the discernment thread during Lent. Hope you meeting with the Archbishop goes well, it is always an amazing experience for me.

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Great news! I'd been wondering how things were going. I'm sorry to hear about the medical issues, though. My cousin has Crohn's disease. She's had it for a very long time (she's around 42) and she's been mostly healthy as far as I know. She's a single mom, works full-time as a county detective, plays league sports, has an active social life, and an active life in general. I hope it won't be an issue for you, either.

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It wasn't really my intention, but during Lent I wasn't that much on PM, time for a little update. The past 2 months my parents gradually started to accept what I want to do, although we still don't agree about what and when. In the meanwhile I have visited the Belgian monastery as often as possible. Since december I'm following a course of gregorian chant there, so I "have" to be there at least 2 saturdays a month. But I usually go friday afternoon and spend the night, to be able to attend Mass saturday at 8am. I was there for Holy Week too. The priest was so happy, he needed help with all te ceremonies. I was appointed MC immediately. On Easter saturday the provincial SJM superior visited us. I met him before in the motherhouse (and on facebook). He asked if it was still difficult with my parents. I was kind of surprised he knew, but it's a good thing I guess they are talking about it :)

 

I also started to tell more of my friends I want to be a priest. They all react surprisingly well. Most of them saw it coming of course, and they are all happy for me. They are even planning visits to the motherhouse already. The rest of my family also reacts kind of good. I visited my grandparents yesterday, my grandmother even asked my cell phone number so she could call me when I'm gone (but I don't think I'm allowed to have my own phone, only the priests can have them).

 

The past weeks I've had my share of medical issues. First I had a terrible pain in the back. The doctor wasn't sure what it was so he sent me to the hospital. Turned out to be a kidneystone. Luckily I got rid of it pretty easily. But I still have 3 more in the kidneys, so I'll have the same problem again somewhere in the future. This week, they discovered I have Crohn's disease. At this moment it can't be cured, but it can be kept under control with pills. So I'm just hoping now this won't be an issue for entrance.

 

Tonight I'm meeting the archbishop. I'm kind of excited right now :)

 

Have you ever heard of the "Wheat Belly" diet?  The cardiologist who started the program noticed massive changes in inflammation in Crohn's Disease patients.  Getting rid of wheat and other grains can assist your body in healing and prevent you from having to take expensive medication like Remicade injections.  He has both a book and a cookbook and, although it's difficult in the first few months to follow, you'll feel so much better.  My aunt did this and she has Crohn's disease (she didn't follow the actual program but something very similar) and has not had to be admitted to the hospital which is a HUGE improvement.  She used to be doubled over in pain and have to spend all day in the bathroom.  Now, she is enjoying life which is much better for her and her three kids.  :)

 

http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/
 

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  • 1 month later...

Thanks for the tips Mater, but they found it in an early stage and I don't really have inflammations (yet), so I can't compare to see what works and what will make it worse. But it's good to know anyway.

 

The meeting with the archbishop went well. It wasn't a private meeting, he just came to the place where I was staying. We didn't talk that much. But I served his Mass, and before leaving he asked me my name again (I'm sure he's still going to know it next time!) and gave me a blessing.

 

In the meantime the soap story continues. This afternoon I was called by my friend, the SJM priest. Just to let me know my father has send an angry email to the motherhouse... Because I haven't officialy applied yet, they didn't know about a possible new postulant and they didn't know what to do. I don't know exactly what was in that mail, but it can't be good. Until now my father hasn't said something about it to me, wich is frustrating and also scaring. Anyway, this is just so humiliating...

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Novi I'm really sorry to hear about the email thing. Hopefully they will just see it as something from an extremely freaked out parent. I'm hoping that your friend was able to help sort things out and that the motherhouse will take his opinion of you over your dad's. 

I went through something similar with my mom and the community I was discerning with. When my mom found out things were getting more serious she freaked out and inisisted on talking to Sister (ok more like yelling at Sister over the phone for 45 minutes). My mom tried bringing up stuff such as my student loans and my medication but I had already discussed those things with Sister so it wasn't that big of deal. I was able to talk to sister after that and she assured me that it was ok.

I'm sure as long as you have been honest and open everything in your discernment thus far there isn't anything your dad could bring up that will freak them out too badly. 

Communities have to deal with a wide range of reactions from families everything from super supportive to families doing everything they can to prevent their child from entering. You aren't the first and will definitely not be the last to have to deal with something like this.

Prayers!

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Prayers for you NonNovi.  Hopefully when you do enter they won't try to take you out by force like they did to St. Clare.  I know this must be very difficult for you.   When I entered Carmel an old boyfriend of mine actually called the monastery and gave the prioress a piece of his mind.  That was sooo.. embarrassing, but the prioress told me that they were used to that.  She said someone usually always calls with concerns about their family member and sometimes they can be pretty angry, but it's usually because of a misunderstanding about the life.

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oh, Non Novi, that is so hard.  It's pretty common, and communities are used to getting letters like that, but it is very different when it is YOU they are talking about, isn't it?

 

What the commmunity may wonder about and watch for is wht YOUR reaction will be.  Just keep praying for your father and loving him as much as you can.  And we will do the same.  he is just frustrated and angry, and this is the only way he can figure out to express what he is feeling inside.  As others have told you, he may calm down after he sees you are happy.  But he may not.  But you just keep your eyes on Jesus and keep on walking toward what will draw you closer to him.    We will pray, and we are here if you need to vent a bit.

 

If they haven't told you, sometimes the Crohn's disease thing acts up when you are under a lot of tension.  Lord knows you have reason to be tense and upset.  So, remind yourself of what a holy priest (Fr. Bonaventure) told me long ago:  "If God wants you in, nothing on earth will keep you out; if God does NOT want you in, nothing on earth will get you in.  So be at peace."  I've found his advice to be some of the most sane and helpful I have ever received, and now it is yours.  And... since he went to his reward many years ago, I am sure Fr. Bonaventure will pray for you if you ask him to intercede for you.....

 

PM me if you wish... I'm around...   and praying.   :pray:

 

 

(edited for a typo)

Edited by AnneLine
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Prayers for you NonNovi.  Hopefully when you do enter they won't try to take you out by force like they did to St. Clare.  I know this must be very difficult for you.   When I entered Carmel an old boyfriend of mine actually called the monastery and gave the prioress a piece of his mind.  That was sooo.. embarrassing, but the prioress told me that they were used to that.  She said someone usually always calls with concerns about their family member and sometimes they can be pretty angry, but it's usually because of a misunderstanding about the life.

 

Wow... an old boyfriend. How crazy of him!

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TheLordsSouljah

I once heard a Sister say "If God is calling you now, answer now".  I'm probably the last person who should be giving you advice on discernment since I'm something of a perpetual discerner without having found my community yet but I've found that the more I pray and the more I seek Jesus in His Word, the more clarity I have.  The one thing I have found is that when you have a gut feeling about something like this and a true peace in your heart, you should definitely follow it.

 

As far as your parents are concerned, God knows them better than you do and so if He is calling you to the priesthood, He knows they can handle it.  He never asks more of us than we can give.  I'm not saying it will be easy for them, so pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you tell them.  And persevere in prayer because that is where we draw our strength from.  You'll need strength to pursue this if in fact your parents are resistant.  It can cause tremendous heartache to think of disappointing your parents or leaving them but when you pray and ask God to help you, He'll guide your path.  Heaven is our ultimate destination; just keep focused on Jesus!

 

Hope this helps   :saint:

But what if one is feeling called now but cannot because of certain compulsory impediments (like study?) I've wanted to enter for like five years but cannot until I finish my degree....

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In Perpetuity, Actually, it's pretty common for some parents to do that kind of thing (if kind of sad). 

 

Not every parent thinks having someone with a vocation in their family is a good thing.

 

I know of a number of people whose parents told them that if they did this, they would never see them again.  (Usually they change their mind... but not always.)

 

NonNovi, A number of times freaked out parents write nasty letters or make phone calls to superiors.  My dad screamed at the Sisters I was with that he was convinced they had 'stolen' me when he called to talk to me and I was not there!  (We were on an outing to a diocesan event.)  

 

I was TOTALLY embarassed, but Sister told me they were used to it, they understood that it was frustration and sadness and hurt, and to just pray for him to come around.   Your priests will say the same thing, NonNovi.

 

BTW... My mother initially had been totally opposed, but eventually was very much at peace.  Both of them were very surprised when I discerned God wanted me to return to secular life (as a postulant).... but I think they would have both come around by the time I became a novice and/or made my vows.  BECAUSE, what they really want is to see you happy, NonNovi.... and when they see that, usually God will soften their hearts.  We will be praying for that.

 

But yes, it is REALLY hard to have to deal with this.  You have my prayers.   :console:

 

-----

 

The Lord's Souljah, I think God calls when God calls.   For some people, that means drop your nets and come NOW.   For others, God has reason for you to finish the study or work you are doing for Him before you follow His call.   The superiors can help you discern which.... but if you are at peace, your community is at peace, then most likely you are where God wants you right now.  But be careful about the debt thing.... because that one causes problems as so many on VocStat know......

 

Praying for all of you!!!!

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