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That's All, Folks! Or So I Thought...


marigold

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Marigold I read your prayer request. I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

Many prayers for you and your friends at this time. God bless you .         :nun3:

​Thank you both :kiss:

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Wishing everyone here a happy Easter! This week is Holy Week for us Orthodox, and we live in quite a Catholic area, so it was amusing (but also a bit jarring? <_<) to have all the dinging and donging and people coming out of churches as I was on my way to Palm Sunday Liturgy this weekend.

I've been feeling very 'spring-clean-y' and started clearing out my room. It's partly the season, and partly wanting to take control of something and be proactive since I'm back on the jobsearch, but also not so subtly wanting to be ready to head on down to a convent at a moment's notice. At least in my head :) 

The longer I'm out, the more I'm apt to be freaked out by how sublime monastic life is, but at the same time the desire only increases - and now a sense of urgency. Tonsure, should God grant it, is so far off that I can't even really conceive of it - I just want to be living the life. I've wasted so much time!

When I think of the elaborate planning and the great lengths I went to in order to ensure that everything was the way I wanted it when I entered the first time - all the right clothes for the climate, things I'd need for my assigned work, making sure I'd not only said goodbye to everyone but that I had all their contact details - I have to laugh! God is truly merciful, he let me do all that 'nesting' and have my way so that I would come to him. All those things, if I needed to do them again to facilitate entering I'd do them of course, but if I had to go without taking anything or seeing anyone, I'd do that too. As time goes on, I'm less and less able to do even the basic things and make do with tiny gestures. I used to think of life in Christ as jumping off a cliff; these days it's much more like scaling a mountain. Whether or not I make X particular choice is irrelevant, so long as I keep moving, even a tiny bit.

I've also been evaluating why I come here and particularly to VS, how much of it is edifying and encourages me to keep waiting patiently for the right monastery, and how much is idleness and even unhelpful; how far has my thinking actually been changed by spending so much time reading, talking about, and watching things to do with Roman Catholic monastic life? I don't know. We have very different monastic cultures - and that's not a value judgment on either one. I'd appreciate your thoughts on this if you have them...

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​Marigold, you didn't waste any time.  Your detailed preparations are normal for anyone planning a major job change. You did truly plan that This Was It, and your elaborate preparations were understandable, especially the first time around.  Now that it's no longer a major stigma, for the RCs anyway, many would-be religious look at a lot of  communities as there are so many,  and, despite their best preparations, learn 'inside' that it's not the life for them. For most, I suspect it's the end of their wandering.  For others, it many be only the beginning of a long process. There is a recently canonized saint from Palestine, I believe, who went from monastery to monastery, and ended up as a Poor Clare in the Holy Land, maybe Jerusalem.  I am uncertain of the precise facts here.

Especially in the Orthodox tradition, and probably in the Byzantine tradition as well, there are few choices for communities, and these tend to be very small.  It is crucial that the personalities  mix well as there is constant interaction, something that it's difficult to evaluate beforehand.

The next time around, and I suspect that there will be one, and maybe soon :),  your preparation will be much more streamlined, as you have passed through that beginner's stage, and you'll discern, prepare and leave with much more certainty and focus.  I hope that you will include us in that process.

Edited by Yaatee
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​Marigold, you didn't waste any time.  Your detailed preparations are normal for anyone planning a major job change. You did truly plan that This Was It, and your elaborate preparations were understandable, especially the first time around.  Now that it's no longer a major stigma, for the RCs anyway, many would-be religious look at a lot of  communities as there are so many,  and, despite their best preparations, learn 'inside' that it's not the life for them. For most, I suspect it's the end of their wandering.  For others, it many be only the beginning of a long process. There is a recently canonized saint from Palestine, I believe, who went from monastery to monastery, and ended up as a Poor Clare in the Holy Land, maybe Jerusalem.  I am uncertain of the precise facts here.

Especially in the Orthodox tradition, and probably in the Byzantine tradition as well, there are few choices for communities, and these tend to be very small.  It is crucial that the personalities  mix well as there is constant interaction, something that it's difficult to evaluate beforehand.

The next time around, and I suspect that there will be one, and maybe soon :),  your preparation will be much more streamlined, as you have passed through that beginner's stage, and you'll discern, prepare and leave with much more certainty and focus.  I hope that you will include us in that process.

​Thank you, Yaatee. If it does happen, I will be happy to include everyone in what's going on, as I have received so much here over the years. :)

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  • 4 weeks later...

[Everyone else can ignore this if they want]

Cross-posting my Help thread for my own reference, before it gets lost in the ether.

Good things this summer:

- asking for help with finances and getting almost everything paid off

- job interviews, 1 bad, 1 good

- 1 job application and test

- realising there are a bunch of early Liturgies throughout the week around the city

- sunshine

- acquaintances turning into friends

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  • 2 weeks later...

News of the vocation boom has reached my newspaper-reading grandma in Sweden! She sent me a cutting about the Little Sisters of Jesus in Hackney, London. I'll take a photo of it when my flatmate gets home with her camera!

I never thought, expected or even hoped that wanting to become a nun would make me part of 'something bigger' in my generation of women. It never crossed my mind. I wanted to be like my heroes: the monastic saints down the ages, and the nuns I got to know personally - all of whom were old enough to be my mother or at least a big sister. There has been a huge boom in women's monasticism in traditionally Orthodox countries in the last 20 years, but I'm not from any of those cultures, so I assumed I was outside that sphere of influence. To realise that something is happening collectively among Roman Catholic and Orthodox women of my age and culture - however relatively tiny - and that I've been caught up in it in some small way without my knowing, is... a bit unsettling, but also cool.

I wonder where we'll all be in 25 years? :)

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I'd never thought of this before, but you're right. It does feel pretty amazing to be part of this springtime. :) 

News of the vocation boom has reached my newspaper-reading grandma in Sweden! She sent me a cutting about the Little Sisters of Jesus in Hackney, London. I'll take a photo of it when my flatmate gets home with her camera!

If you ever find yourself in London again, let me know and I will take you to them for supper. They are hilarious and I think you'd really like them. They had a sister there from Germany who is very keen on building up good relations with the Eastern churches, who came to improve her English. Her course may be over by now but if she's still around I'm sure she'd love to meet you. Even if she's not there, the others are worth a visit.

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:o)Katherine:o)

It is such an exciting time! I'm so glad that you are finding such great comfort and joy!

 

I look forward to seeing what it will be like in 25 years! I hope there is a long continues vocation boom! :dance:

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I'd never thought of this before, but you're right. It does feel pretty amazing to be part of this springtime. :) 

If you ever find yourself in London again, let me know and I will take you to them for supper. They are hilarious and I think you'd really like them. They had a sister there from Germany who is very keen on building up good relations with the Eastern churches, who came to improve her English. Her course may be over by now but if she's still around I'm sure she'd love to meet you. Even if she's not there, the others are worth a visit.

That would be great! I'll let you know :)

It is such an exciting time! I'm so glad that you are finding such great comfort and joy!

 

I look forward to seeing what it will be like in 25 years! I hope there is a long continues vocation boom! :dance:

Thank you, Katherine; me too!

tumblr_ns8ojao6MG1tp6rfpo1_1280.jpg

Here's the article my grandma sent me. The headline is 'More being attracted to become nuns'.

:nun:

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MarysLittleFlower

I never thought about that either! I mean about how we are all part of that too. I wonder why there's been an increase in religious life recently? :) countries that were in the Soviet Union may be experiencing an increase because of a general increase of interest in religion... However that doesn't seem to be the case here in North America at least and yet there's more young women who are interested in being Sisters or nuns than maybe before (post V2 times I mean). 

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I never thought about that either! I mean about how we are all part of that too. I wonder why there's been an increase in religious life recently? :) countries that were in the Soviet Union may be experiencing an increase because of a general increase of interest in religion... However that doesn't seem to be the case here in North America at least and yet there's more young women who are interested in being Sisters or nuns than maybe before (post V2 times I mean). 

I really don't know. To me it has been really weird to realise that something I thought was 'just me' has been happening on a larger scale. Maybe I'm not as weird as I think I am ;)

Edited by marigold
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:o)Katherine:o)

MarysLittleFlower, there has been a very small yet steady increase here in North America. There are a lot that are currently looking for communities as well. At least from what I have seen and heard.

 

Haha Maridold! I like to think that there really is no normal. That we are all a little weird. So, you are not alone!

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