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Where In The World Is Allie?


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I know that you all have probably been waiting for an update on this issue and wondering. I'm sorry that I was away for so long. I haven't been able to devote much attention to it in the last few week

I'm not all that active on PM, particularly lately, but I have been following this thread with interest. Having met my husband online, I tend to be a bit more lenient than many, but there are some imp

I think what this story points out to us is that we need to be kind and charitable but also to be careful and use considerable discernment when dealing with others on the Internet. I have been on phat

It sounds similar to another story here.  I will not name the person because the person was mentally unstable and I pray HARD they are getting help.  This kind of stuff is why I NEVER give out my personal information on the internet.  I've never divulged my name to ANYONE on Phatmass because, in today's modern world, you have no idea who you are dealing with.  It really is a shame that someone would create an elaborate hoax like this but we must remember that the person who is doing these things is a person we need to pray for.  You have to be careful that this stuff doesn't make you cynical or paranoid - just cautious.  Thanks for providing an update.  ;)

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I think what this story points out to us is that we need to be kind and charitable but also to be careful and use considerable discernment when dealing with others on the Internet. I have been on phatmass since 2007 and I have encountered several 'unstable' individuals over those years.

 

Just to mention two of them:

 

One exchanged several emails with me and then contacted a religious community on my behalf as my spiritual director, asking them to consider me.  I had never at any time asked her to act in this capacity or to contact anyone on my behalf. When I called her to account for her actions, she became angry and hostile in her emails to me so I had to block them.

 

Another person, who still posts on phatmass under several different user names, borrowed money from me to go visit a convent for discernment. She used the money to repair her car instead and never made the visit to the convent. She then disappeared from sight for several years, refusing to respond to emails or phone messages,  and reappeared with different user names on phatmass saying she had been accepted by a community but had to pay off her debt. She did finally pay me back after several years, a little bit at a time, and with her last payment, she told me that she had been sent a check for several thousand dollars by a convent so she could pay off her debts and enter there, although she had already told another convent that she was going to enter there. I don't know what came of that because I told her I thought she was being dishonest and she ceased all contact with me again. It has been 6 years and she still claims to be entering a convent as soon as she can pay off her debt, (not student loans, all credit cards, and other personal expenses) - and she has a blog where she requests donations and sets a target goal to pay off her debt, which changes regularly, sometimes more, sometimes less. I assume that people are still giving her money under the impression that one day she is going to enter the convent.

 

What I am saying is that when dealing with online relationships, we must always be very careful, as there are many unbalanced individuals who may even believe the things that they post online, but who are far from really being true discerners of religious vocations. So be careful. I don't think we should be suspicious and cynical of everyone online, but we just need to be aware that in many cases, there is no way to check the veracity of a person's story. Even when they contact us by phone, we should still be careful about just how much information we provide about our own personal lives and about how much we get involved with their lives.

 

It is natural to want to be kind and charitable but not everyone who says they are discerning, actually are.

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Oh dear, what a sad situation, and how sad for the individual(s) concerned.

 

I am afraid that if anything I am overcautious in my internet connections and refuse to give out details that could identify me in any way.......which means that no one can check my veracity, but it also keeps me safe. It is a difficult balance to achieve, but as others have said, we must be careful and realise we just have no way of knowing who it is we are really addressing.

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Oh dear, what a sad situation, and how sad for the individual(s) concerned.

 

I am afraid that if anything I am overcautious in my internet connections and refuse to give out details that could identify me in any way.......which means that no one can check my veracity, but it also keeps me safe. It is a difficult balance to achieve, but as others have said, we must be careful and realise we just have no way of knowing who it is we are really addressing.

 

 

I'm like you now max- I don't like to reveal too much about myself or my plans to others. When I first read this thread I thought, 'What does it matter where in the world Allie is - it's her life." But then I realized that she had actually gotten others involved in her life through phone calls or other encounters. She may not have taken any money, but she has obviously caused distress in others who felt they had become close to her through emails or phone calls, and who worried about her when they didn't hear any more.

 

I, on the other hand, have revealed too much about myself over the years and given others the impression that they now have the right to judge me and my actions and give me advice about my life. So I have now become reticent about revealing any plans.

 

There must be a healthy balance somewhere where can learn to support each other without feeling we either have to reveal too much to feel safe, or feeling that we know so much that we can judge what others are doing.

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Thank you very much indeed, Curiousing, for updating us.  I have been praying for Allie all along, whoever she is and will continue to do so.  I am so relieved that it is all cleared up and while it is very sad and disappointing that it was a hoax, at the very same time I am relieved and that Allie, whoever, she is, is probably to all indications quite ok.

 

Prayer always...........Barb :)

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I'm like you now max- I don't like to reveal too much about myself or my plans to others. When I first read this thread I thought, 'What does it matter where in the world Allie is - it's her life." But then I realized that she had actually gotten others involved in her life through phone calls or other encounters. She may not have taken any money, but she has obviously caused distress in others who felt they had become close to her through emails or phone calls, and who worried about her when they didn't hear any more.

 

I, on the other hand, have revealed too much about myself over the years and given others the impression that they now have the right to judge me and my actions and give me advice about my life. So I have now become reticent about revealing any plans.

 

There must be a healthy balance somewhere where can learn to support each other without feeling we either have to reveal too much to feel safe, or feeling that we know so much that we can judge what others are doing.

 

If i could PM you, I would, but just to let you know that if you want an offline correspondence with me for any reason, you can write to slevami dot yahoo dot com

 

Hope your family problems have resolved themselves, or at least are under control, and that you are OK.

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I'm like you now max- I don't like to reveal too much about myself or my plans to others. When I first read this thread I thought, 'What does it matter where in the world Allie is - it's her life." But then I realized that she had actually gotten others involved in her life through phone calls or other encounters. She may not have taken any money, but she has obviously caused distress in others who felt they had become close to her through emails or phone calls, and who worried about her when they didn't hear any more.

 

I, on the other hand, have revealed too much about myself over the years and given others the impression that they now have the right to judge me and my actions and give me advice about my life. So I have now become reticent about revealing any plans.

 

There must be a healthy balance somewhere where can learn to support each other without feeling we either have to reveal too much to feel safe, or feeling that we know so much that we can judge what others are doing.

 

If i could PM you, I would, but just to let you know that if you want an offline correspondence with me for any reason, you can write to slevami dot yahoo dot com  AnneLine can confirm I'm not too obnoxious <g>

 

Hope your family problems have resolved themselves, or at least are under control, and that you are OK.

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If i could PM you, I would, but just to let you know that if you want an offline correspondence with me for any reason, you can write to slevami dot yahoo dot com

 

Hope your family problems have resolved themselves, or at least are under control, and that you are OK.

 

 

Dear Antigonos

 

Thank you for your kind offer. If you want to write to me you are most welcome to do so at sponsajesus at gmail dot com but these days I don't feel comfortable discussing either my personal life or my plans via email with those I don't know personally.

 

As for my family problems - they are like all family problems - they come and they go and then they come again. Several of my family members need prayers though, either for health reasons or simply because they need God and are unwilling or unable to open up to His help. So these are always appreciated.

 

As for myself, I am very ok and I thank you for your kindness in wishing me well. God has made many things clear to me and has even guided my footsteps to show me the next step. I can't see more than one step ahead but one step at a time is enough - for as the hymn goes... 'Lead kindly light ... one step enough for me.'

Edited by nunsense
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Was she really on intending to pull the wool over the Brams Poor Clares??

 

Well, by email, she did. They were quite upset themselves by the whole affair. I doubt that in person she would have been able to fool them long. Probably the reason she never showed up there. But who knows...

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Thanks for updating us curiousing! Been occupied with things that are making it difficult to keep up with PM too, but noticed this thread was bumped stopping by and want to express appreciation and support for the hard work and heart ache you went through in all of this.

 

This is all so disturbing that someone would do this on PM but especially to someone on a personal level and a religious community... (and that this has happened before here) This can really be harmful to sincere future discerners on too... like "crying wolf" Communities have more reasons to feel they need to be cautious of people, especially in our time with the internet and all. It makes me think, I guess when you first write and go to visit a community, there really is a lot of trust involved...

 

We must keep her in prayer. It is, as you say, a good reminder to all of us though about this place being the internet and we never know..

 

I feel sorry for Ms. Travis too! She seemingly had her picture used by someone! Prayers for everyone involved/hurt  :pray:

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After reading this thread, I think it's also important to keep in mind that absolutely everything on the phorums is public.  Absolutely ANYONE can see everything, unlike some other forums that make you sign up for an account before you can read things. Sometimes I myself forget that. 

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I'm not all that active on PM, particularly lately, but I have been following this thread with interest. Having met my husband online, I tend to be a bit more lenient than many, but there are some important "rules" that one should always keep in mind for online correspondence with someone you don't know in person. I think this whole situation has brought that to the fore, and I hope everyone can learn something from it.

 

I truly can't imagine the thought process behind someone wanting to create a hoax, particularly in the realm of a vocation to religious life. It boggles my mind. But it does happen, and we always need to be prudent; "innocent as doves, but wise as serpents," as it were.

 

Well, by email, she did. They were quite upset themselves by the whole affair. I doubt that in person she would have been able to fool them long. Probably the reason she never showed up there. But who knows...

 

This, to me, is a huge part of the tragedy of this kind of situation. That real life communities suffer; that some Sisters may even be filled with fear, wondering who the hoaxer was and why they would do such a thing, as though they could be in danger from some sort of "stalker" or unstable person.

 

Thankfully, in this case, there hasn't been any "damage" in the sense of people physically hurt or any monetary losses, but there is damage that can have lasting effects: people hurt emotionally, communities feeling unsafe or vulernable.

 

In charity, we pray that any "hoaxers" will get the help they need.

 

I don't really have anything worthwhile to add; just that I'm very sorry to hear this has happened (and has happened before) on VS.

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