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1 hour ago, Hna.Caridad said:

Dear allshallbewell,

First of all, I am so sorry that you've experienced such violence, manipulation, and abuse at the hands of those who are supposed to be spiritual leaders and guides.  None of it was your fault.  Let me repeat that:  NONE of what happened was your fault.

Before you begin discerning again and/or before (if) you begin dating, it's imperative that you seek out professional counseling/therapy to learn more about how it is that you ended up in these situations not once, but twice.  You deserve better and developing the skills of recognizing red flags and responding to them promptly will help to keep you safe.

I'm concerned for you and will be praying for you as you integrate the wounds/trauma of your past and learn new ways of being in relationship.  

Thanks Hna. Caridad, appreciate it. I am in therapy and still working through the trauma and wounds. I think you may have misread my post, I haven't been in the same situation twice. Thank you for the prayers, greatly appreciated. 

8 hours ago, Sponsa-Christi said:

@allshallbewellSince you asked, probably the first piece of advice would be to o whatever you have to do to find a good spiritual director in real life.

Also, one's thirties is really not too late to be discerning religious life. You might be above the age limit for some communities, but a lot of healthy communities would be willing to at least talk with you. 

Thank you Sponsa-Christi. I am going to pray about it and see where the spirit takes me. And I agree with you that finding a solid spiritual director is something I really need. Thanks for the advice.

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