Am I called to be a nun

[Nunsuch]

@gloriana35has given you excellent advice. More succinctly, if the nuns have told you that you don't belong there, it really doesn't matter if you think they are right or wrong. They are not going to admit you. Discernment is not a one-way street. And your response suggests you'd have a really hard time with the vow of obedience.

[Mhairi]

On 11/4/2021 at 5:26 PM, MariaGarcia said:

I did a Jesuit retreat a couple of weeks ago to help me discern this. The conclusion with the guide I spoke to was that God has something else for me, not religious life. As relieved as this makes me, I am still not at peace because I keep doubting.

Even though the nuns in that community told me that that is not my place, I keep thinking what if they got it wrong and I could be there? Asking myself this question makes me get lost in doubt, fear and worry. Now when I try to pray all I think of is this. Even when I wake up, the first thing that comes to my mind is all these questions and feelings and thoughts. 

 

I think if the thought makes you get lost in doubt, fear and worry and is affecting your prayer time then it is time to let go of it. God wants your peace of mind, not to fill you with confusion 

[gloriana35]

I hope you'll not mind one last word of caution. (I know people with OCD. Even if I love them dearly, there are times it's difficult to deal with their constant contacts, needs for reassurance, questions.) Obsessions often are manifested in a manner that doesn't make the underlying reason clear. 

If you want further contact with the nuns, perhaps because there is something in their history or spirituality that you'd like to pursue, wait awhile before you make any further contact. (I have had occasions in the past where I corresponded with nuns, though I had no desire to enter their monasteries, and it indeed can be fruitful.) You might be tempted to keep writing to them - going on about your doubts - questioning what they had to say. It can get to be exasperating for the recipient.

 

[Feankie]

Although I don't post much as of late, I have to chime in on this one.  My feeling is this thread is drifting (actually, it is already there) into an area in which I doubt any of us have expertise. This is more than "Am I called to be a nun?"  Is this question a symptom of psychological issues or is a "desire" to be associated with the particular congregation an "acting out" of OCD and other issues?  The originator of the thread has admitted she has OCD, trouble with anxiety, and a disbelief/distrust of what was told to her by the nuns she briefly visited.  She has admitted no attraction to the LOTH, boredom with other monastic practices, etc. ,  And a desire not to be cured of her OCD raises the red flags very high.

I don't think any of us, in the goodness of our hearts and our desire to help a soul in distress, is equipped to give her the advice and help she really needs. Rather, a frank and open conversation with a good mental health professional seems to be the logical next step in light of the comments she's made about her OCD and other issues. Take a minute and think.....are all the well-meaning comments/suggestions helping or hurting the situation? Or are they feeding into her self-admitted issues? Please be very careful here.

 

[Mhairi]

Feankie, I totally agree. I am a mental health practitioner and would say the same as you in terms of seeking help from a colleague if someone wanted help but I have heard no indication of that from the original poster. There won’t be a resolution of obsessional thoughts regarding anything if help isn’t wanted