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Confusion


inthelight009

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inthelight009

I am one of the people that like instant results. I am having trouble discerning my vocation because of it. Each time I pray about it I come up with a new conclusion. I am sooo lost in what I want to do when I get out of high school. I put a lot of pressure on my self to do well in school so I can go into some form of medicine. I try to think of what would make me happiest. But I think I would be happy at anything. I would love to be a nun. I love to get married someday. I am 50-50 each way. I am still young so I have plenty of time to discern what I am call to do… But I want to know now. I want to have a goal for the end of school. I have a back up plan if I don’t make a decision… Bachelor of science in something.

Any way the point of this rant is to find out how other people discerned their vocation, because I am really struggling with quieting down my heart and listening to what God wants me to do.

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Adoration. As often as possible. Just getting yourself before Our Lord... even if you have a million things on your mind and you feel like you can't focus (at least, that was MY experience!), if you try, He will reward you.

Spiritual director. Find a good priest whom you trust and can talk to, and whom you feel can aid you in your journey.

Get in touch with communities you may be interested in. Talk to the vocations directors, because they have a lot of experience in guiding discerners.

Finally, ACT. If you're really going to discern, you have to be willing to answer God's call, no matter what it might be. And sometimes it can mean "going out on a limb" for Him.. visiting communities, taking leaps of faith, whatever He might ask.

Those are just tidbits that I found helpful... :)

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inthelight009

Adoration is an awesome idea... I usually only go when on retreats which is like once every 2 months. I have an spiritual advisor but I haven't seen her since June... ahh... I need to call her. How do I go about going to visiting comunities... I've gone with my grandma before when I was younger but she knew the nuns.

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I think the best idea is to figure out what kind of community you might be drawn to.. start with like: contemplative or active? Otherwise, there are some threads around here with lists of solid, faithful religious orders... many of them have websites, so they give you an idea about the community, and have contact info there.

For example (shameless plug, haha), I'm entering the [url="http://www.sistersofmary.org"]Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist[/url] in 19 days!! They are a VERY solid, faithful, active (teaching), young, vibrant order that is still rooted entirely in contemplation of Our Lord, especially through the Eucharist. :) There are other girls around planning on entering other communities.. hopefully they will post here. Or check out the Future Nun Support Group or the "what orders are you considering" threads.

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I have the same problem. I always want to know things now so I can plan for the future. My spiritual director gave me good advice- she said to focus on my life now. My daily life. She's an Opus Dei numerary so she's really big on holiness in your everyday life. So, I try to honor God in everything I do- from washing dishes, reading, or talking to my family. This means doing everything with the utmost charity and offering up those little sufferings in life for others. Step by step, we grow in virtue not by setting big goals and focusing our sights on them but by living day by day, even moment by moment, in sanctity. It's hard, I know! But it's worth it and I promise, it will help you with your discernment.
One thing you can do is offer a small mortification everyday for the benefit of others. For example, I love to eat (haha) so as a small sacrifice, I try to give up some little thing with each of my meals like not putting pepper on my food or not getting seconds. Things like that. Or you can do other things.
It makes sense that following our Lord in our everyday life will help us in our discernment. After all, if you follow Him in the little, ordinary moments of life, He will certainly lead you to your ultimate purpose in life. I hope this helps!

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All For Jesus

[quote name='crusader03' date='Aug 20 2005, 04:01 PM']Adoration. As often as possible. Just getting yourself before Our Lord... even if you have a million things on your mind and you feel like you can't focus (at least, that was MY experience!), if you try, He will reward you.
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I second this...even just being with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament can be a tremendous help with anything!

[quote name='msahara' date='Aug 20 2005, 05:26 PM'] After all, if you follow Him in the little, ordinary moments of life, He will certainly lead you to your ultimate purpose in life.  I hope this helps!
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This is beautiful and how very true! I love it!

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Well, I'd majorly concentrate on increasing your prayer life, and going to Mass!

Best advice I've had has been to frequent the Sacraments (esp Mass!!!!!!and Reconciliation) and to visit Jesus in Adoration! Also to continuously pray. Every moment, every day...when I do this, it makes my days so much better! and so much easier to deal with. As for the actual discernment, pray for wisdom, resolve and guidance. (esp ask for the intercession of saints, eg St Clare, St Dominic and so on...)

A Dominican nun (SMC!!!) told me that just praying "I want what You want, o my God." helped her immensely! It has helped me too! except, I pray "I want what You want sweet Jesus"

You're in my prayers!

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Theologian in Training

[quote name='inthelight009' date='Aug 20 2005, 03:49 PM']I am one of the people that like instant results. I am having trouble discerning my vocation because of it. Each time I pray about it I come up with a new conclusion. I am sooo lost in what I want to do when I get out of high school. I put a lot of pressure on my self to do well in school so I can go into some form of medicine. I try to think of what would make me happiest. But I think I would be happy at anything. I would love to be a nun. I love to get married someday. I am 50-50 each way. I am still young so I have plenty of time to discern what I am call to do… But I want to know now. I want to have a goal for the end of school. I have a back up plan if I don’t make a decision… Bachelor of science in something. 

Any way the point of this rant is to find out how other people discerned their vocation, because I am really struggling with quieting down my heart and listening to what God wants me to do.
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My advice is a little different, but I found it works. Stop trying to control things you cannot control. You are in effect saying "God, here this is what I want you to tell me to do, now tell me." You need to say, "God, I have no idea what you want me to do, nor what you want for me in life, [b]but I give to you[/b] and let Him keep it.

We often say we give something to God, only to check in on Him to see how He is doing, forgetting that He is God, the one in control, and we are subject to Him, not the other way around.

Just be still and let God talk now. Don't ask Him for anything, don't say what you want, just say, "speak Lord, your servant is listening," to which I add, "and if you will not speak, I will continue to listen."

Just listen, stop talking, God will tell you what He wants and what it is you are to do, in His time, not yours. When you are ready and He feels you are ready, you will know.

God Bless

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[quote name='memtherose' date='Aug 21 2005, 03:25 AM']Well, I'd majorly concentrate on increasing your prayer life, and going to Mass!

Best advice I've had has been to frequent the Sacraments (esp Mass!!!!!!and Reconciliation) and to visit Jesus in Adoration! Also to continuously pray. Every moment, every day...when I do this, it makes my days so much better! and so much easier to deal with. As for the actual discernment, pray for wisdom, resolve and guidance. (esp ask for the intercession of saints, eg St Clare, St Dominic and so on...)

A Dominican nun (SMC!!!) told me that just praying "I want what You want, o my God." helped her immensely! It has helped me too! except, I pray "I want what You want sweet Jesus"

You're in my prayers!
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Oh I love SMC! She's adorable and she's so wise!

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inthelight009

I love this site...
Your advice helps me see areas in my life that I need to fix. Like its been weeks since I have gone to confession. I have the ability to go to a parish near me that has adoration 9-5 everyday but I don't go... Their is some much that I could be doing right now.

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Piccoli Fiori JMJ

The little mortifications suggestion was an awesome one... teaching yourself self-discipline... Adoration will always help, and also asking for hte intercession of the Saints and the Queen of all Saints is majorly helpful. Also, I would suggest doing some dort of spiritual reading. I know that the Diary of St. Faustina was a huge help in my discernment.

I never really had a spiritual director, but I think it would have been a major help and would have saved me from a lot of insanity...

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[quote name='All For Jesus' date='Aug 20 2005, 10:24 PM']I second this...even just being with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament can be a tremendous help with anything!
This is beautiful and how very true! I love it!
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<After all, if you follow Him in the little, ordinary moments of life, He will certainly lead you to your ultimate purpose in life.
This is beautiful and how very true! I love it!>


Give thanks to St. Josemaria for that one! ^_^

Edited by msahara
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I went through the same experience and almost drove myself insane because I felt that I needed to know right then! I never had that lightning bolt experience that I was waiting for, but it was when I let go of everything that I was seemingly demanding from God and just tried to live in the moment that I just started to see my vocation falling into place. I never got an e-mail from God with my life plan laid out, nor did I have a revelation where it "struck me" that I was called to a certain thing.
I think it was when I started trying to give my aspirations to God, to do with what He willed, and let it go, let Him use His time instead of mine to tell me, that it began to become clear.
I'm not saying that's how it is for everyone, because it seems there are well-intentioned people out there who are getting on in years and still think they don't know what God wants for them (or, maybe they just won't accept what He does want, I don't know), but really He probably just wants you to practice patience and self-surrender.
And trust me, that will make you so very happy, and more at ease with your life.

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